Can't make up my mind to find out or not

My husband & I are due in december (my bday actually) and we are hoping for a little boy since we have a DD.

I have to say the first time around although Id never ever let my daughter know this but we suffered severe GD.

 In fact it tore us apart (we seperated for a few months) after we found out. We have grown & healed from all the events and my husband without hesitation without blinking and swearing on our DD says he does not care this time around what the gender of this baby is as long as the baby is healthy.  He just wants a sibbling for our DD so she is not alone etc.

We tried for a while to get pg this time around it was over 6 months. We want this baby. It was 100% planned and loved from before it was even concieved. When I found out I was pg I told my husband we will have a surprise this time so we do not slip into the old fight if it is a girl.

Our family is so annoyed we arent finding out. They make comments about if its a boy and how they hope its a boy etc... I cant help but feel this pressure.

My husband is the only boy in his family to carry on his family name so hence why a boy is important to them.

I have to admit apart of me was looking at big sister/little sister outfits and since i have sisters I just fell in love with everything on the screen. I told my sister yesterday I think Im brainwashing myself to want a girl.

So my issue is this... I am struggling with wanting to know. We have a 16 week 3D gender scan in a week and we already told the place that they are to turn off all screens (that we can see) and write down the gender of the baby in a sealed envelope so if we choose to find out it can be on our terms and where we want etc. Apart of me wants to plan and shop and get more excited. I am a nesting mommy to be. With DD I shopped and shopped... I had two large tupperware bins of clothes for the future size 12M and 24M.... She is 2 now and I have just started her 3T bin. So it's kinda going against my nature of "planning ahead" and having everything by not finding out.

What am I supposed to do? I am so afraid to know but yet I want to know!

If it were me I would wait until the birth :) it's much more exciting and the guessing is fun too!

If your worried what family members will say just say the babas legs were crossed haha!

I have 3 boy's and never found out with my first but with my 2nd and 3rd who are 16 months and 12 weeks I did but I wish I would of waited I just think it's much more fun not knowing what your having!

I hope in the future we could add just one more to our family if we are lucky enough too then I wouldn't find out I would wait.

 Good Luck xx

thank you so much for responding! I was nervous I was too extreme with my GD that nobody would respond or Id get negative responses. The plan right now is we are not going to open the envelope and we are letting it be a surprise. But the suspense is killing me but the anxiety and fear is there too :( Family know already that we are not finding out so telling I just wish they'd be more into us having a second girl (if it is a girl) they are all so hell bent that we have a boy. Ughh.... if it were that easy! Ive realized that nobody I know has gotten what they wanted. They wanted girls they got boys etc... And we should be blessed with the healthy babies we do get!! I am starting to feel bad like I wont bond with this baby while he/she is in there.... I called my DD by name from the womb... I had personalized outfits for her at the hospital.... and i feel like this baby wont have any of that and is that fair to do? idk im so confused. material items dont matter but i dont want to think I favored my DD over her sibblings out of fear of GD ya know?

And apart of me wants to be tough and stand strong by my child in womb... the mama bear instinct and find out and anyone who has a problem if its another girl will have the wrath of me!

I feel like I should be strong enough to overcome the GD.I got over the GD with my DD... infact a month later I realized I could not even stand the boys section because it was so dark and the girls section was so light and airy and inviting lol.

My DH friend just found out they are having their third girl. They are not quiet about their disappointments each time... I was relieved is that bad? I feel for them. I want them to get what they want. But she found out she was pregnant the same time I found out and I cringed at the fact they may have a boy and we will have a girl....not atleast I feel like theres no pressure. Another girl theres no competition. This is all so silly. Im a grown woman. I shouldnt feel this way. But I cannot help it.

It effects everybody in different way's were is I would of liked to of heard girl 2nd or even 3rd time round so I had a son or sons and a daughter but I just couldn't imagine life now without my baby boys, to be honest I didn't suffer with GD and I would never ever judge anyone who has or had GD.

Although I think aslong as our babas are helathy that's the most important thing.

Why don't you wait for a little while and see how you feel and if you want to open it then open it in your own time am sure that if you waited for the birth you will love your baby no matter what as soon as you see it's little face you will fall in love :)

Try not to worry about the family they will also fall in love when they see the new baby.

xx

I am going to wait as long as I can. You are right... waiting is best for everyone! xx thank you!

 i am trying to over come my gd and i dont want to find out a lone and dh wont be there so...i am hoping they will look at gender, il look away..take two confirmation pcs...right it down and seal it up so i can open it with dh and in private..and f we decide not too....then atleast we have the option..lol

I had them write it down for us. I knew I would rather know in advance because I have gone the wait until its born to find out and I didn't like the way I was that way. I understand being scared of falling back into the patter of you and DH fighting over it. Don't let family pressure you because of carrying on the name. My dad has 2 DDs and I have 4 my sister has no children. No one to carry on the name. My DH has a son from a previous marriage so his family name will carry on, mine wont and that hurts a lot. I wanted to give a boy my maiden name as his middle name to some how carry the name on. Do what you feel is right to do in your heart and not listen to family. HUGS

MY DH will be with me at the sono but we arent going to find out there If we open the envelope we will find out together in private at home.

If we open the envelope I know my DH all too well... he wont be able to hold that secret from his older sister who is self prounounced not a good secret keeper lol so everyone would know.

I agree with you that finding out at birth will only bring us closer and avoid any arguments or crankyness.

I wish preparing was easier not knowing but I can do it!