Support appreciated

Hi girls

Thanks to all for your posts- your support to a stranger is very appreciated. I have booked my cvs test in for exactly 12 weeks so not next week but the week after. I know there are risks and I had to weigh up not knowing for another 6 weeks if it was a boy for sure versus finding out in half that time and also checking for any abnormalities as well. To be honest it will be a struggle to get though the next week and a half. I have been a mess and its only been 24 hours. I have times where i think that maybe we could have another boy and go for PGD in 2013 for a girl and then i think can I even contemplate another boy. We have autism in our family- my brother and nephew is autistic and although my son at the moment isn't displaying any signs I think about how ever since he was born (and before then) I have felt like I have been on this constant "autism watch". I am in early childhood so I over anaylse everything that he does and to be honest it has driven me mad. I know that life has no guarantees and that there are a lot of ppl with special needs children out there but as autism isnt something you can test it makes it more difficult. Its the fear that if we repeat history again with a boy we might not be so lucky next time. And to be honest I dont think that I am strong enough to do this all over again if it is a boy. I am really regretting not making the decision to start PGD sooner. I was praying that we would be lucky and get the girl but now that may not be the case. I am just hoping that in three or so weeks time I can post on our forum and say guess what-the test was wrong-Its a girl!! but I know that there is only a small chance (if any) of that being the case.

Part of me struggles with it all- thinking that there is only a small chance that having a boy would mean he may be autistic- but for me, who lived with autism and now sees it again in a new generation with my nephew and my sisters family - that chance is still pretty big- and there is no doctor ( and we have gone to the best) that can really give much more then an educated guess of the likelehood. Having a girl would mean a hugely reduced risk, as autism is so much greater in boys.

 So thats where it stands for now- hope to be able to still hear how things are going for everybody over the next few weeks- its nice to be able to acknoweldge being pregnant with you all as we have kept it so secret with our family and friends- its so hard not telling ppl but its for the best until we are sure of our outcome.

Hope all your little bubbas are going well

f&txx 

F&T- I'm so sorry you are feeling so low.. I wish I could say so something to help but I know it doesn't work that way. I will pray for you, if you don't mind, be ause that's all I can do. As hard as it is just remember it could easily be a daughter. I'm a medical professional and I over analyze every sneeze. My dd2 was about 3 months old and her bottom jaw was quivering while she was cooing and I immediately thought she was having a low blood sugar disorder and called for an apt. My DH calmed me down and brought me to reality. My dd1 had a lump on her side and jumped to he conclusion it was a hernia or worse cancer and again DH made me remember she fell off her bike and hit the handle bar. It was just a bruise. What I mean not just as professionals in our job but as loving, caring parents we over analyze our children. With information at our fingertips, most of it wrong, we think the worse. Look at your happy healthy little son and enjoy him for him, for his individuality and his health. You sound like a very concerned and loving mother and any child is lucky to be yours!

I can sort of understand where you are coming from, in my family our genetics predispose us to a very rare kidney disease which comes through in the 5th child of each family and usually is found when the child is in the teens and starts showing signs of renal failure so I can only imagine what you are going though with having a genetic disposition to autism.

I think bleu has a great point, that you should enjoy him and try not to analyze him. I the end you will love your kids no matter what thats the joy of being a mum. I hope you get a little girl but in all I hope your kids are healthy and stay healthy.

My 5 year old son has pdd (very highly functional) luckily my second son who is 2 shows no sighns of it im pregnant again and am prayin that this is a little girl because I know her chance of also being autistic will be slught whereas if its a boy theres greater risk...i just keep praying