When I weaned my ds, (who would undoubtedly still be bfing if it were up to him), I took out the most "comforting" time he breastfed first, (middle of the night). If he woke up and asked to nurse, I just told him that it wasn't time yet & that he had to wait for the sun to come up. Then I offered to scratch his back to help him get back to sleep. I did this cold turkey, I just put my foot down and said no more middle of the night bfing (mainly b/c neither of us were getting any sleep!).
I then let him continue on with day time feedings for a while. When I decided he seemed ready, I just started cutting out one feeding at a time. When he would ask to nurse, I did the same thing as with the night feeding, just said, it's not time for boo boo yet, you have to wait until xxxx. I would always offer to hold him, cuddle him, play with him, etc if I had to turn him down if he asked to nurse. With the very last feeding, I just said, it's not time for boo boo and didn't say when it would be time... if he asked, I would say, I don't know.
It's just hard! There is no real easy way, but like you, I wanted to cut out bfing without adding another dependency that we would have to deal with later on (not that there is anything wrong with that, when weaning all is fair game!!!) I STILL miss bfing (a full year later) and could probably cry just thinking about how much I miss it!!!