I am glad I found this forum, for me, it was a consolation that I wasn't alone when I had DD#3 and went through GD HARD!!! Everyone kept telling me to be happy she was healthy and I am (even more so now that we've lost 3 boys), but you all know that feeling of heavy loss of not getting DG. It was nice to be able to aire those feelings.
As for discarding, when we worked with GIVF we were going to donate ours to infertile couples or testing, but we never got the chance. With the clinic we used here, we wanted to give our girls to 2 couples we knew but again, never got the opportunity since I had nothing viable to freeze since all of them were abnormal or unfreezable. (That's very upsetting to me).
It's a personal choice, our family was ticked that we weren't going to use them all ("but they're ALL MY GRANDCHILDREN!!!") and I wrestled with knowing someone else would be raising MY child when in theory, it should have been me! but it's not an issue for us. If in the future it is, I will probably freeze them (I can't give them away in MA apparently and my insurance company requires freezing) and figure out what to do when we get to that bridge.
12-5-09: IVF/PGD - Transferred
- BFP 9dp5dt
1st beta: 9dp5dt = 86
2nd beta: 12dp5dt = 306
u/s : 1-04-10
M/C at 12 weeks.
BFP 4dp5dt! (could've been 3 if I'd used a FRER)
1st beta: 9dp5dt = 199!
2nd beta: 12dp5dt = 635
3rd beta: 17dp5dt = 2790
2 blighted ovums at 5W5D ~ Missed Miscarriage at 12 weeks. NOT GIVING UP! Changing ME!!!