and even with all this money - HT isn't an option because my DH was actually done with having just one child with me. I had to BEG for the second. It really really bothers me that I could have done HT and that we can afford to have a third and that my DH basically said- you're dreams and wants are not important enough"
Sometimes I would take an understanding husband over money any day!!!
I'm sorry you and your DH are not on the same page. If we were wealthy, I have no doubt my DH would agree to a 3rd child thru HT - alas, we're not! That would also mean, as I said above, that we could afford "help". Not that I'd want my kids raised by nannies, but a the first few months are really brutal and having a baby nurse and housekeeper sounds so good!! I'm a person who doesn't thrive on chaos, noise, a messy home... so part of the reason I only wanted 2 kids was that. Maybe your DH is also like that and can be convinced to try HT for a third and hire some help to manage the "chaos" in the house!. Of course, I wouldn't push it on him either because both parents should be ready to raise another child.