Going High Tech is a big decision, and you are right to think it through like you have. And it sounds as if you have done your homework; yes, many women DO spend all kinds of money and end up with no daughter. However....many women spend that money and do get a daughter.
It was the truth in that last sentence that prompted me to TRY (yes try) high tech. I, too, was reading the BFNs two years ago....but I was also reading about the BFPs. I knew it was a gamble....but I got a certain mindset and stuck to it. And it was simply this: I was doing High Tech, and if I tried a few cycles and it didn't work, I would be at peace. I would know in my heart that I did everything to get a daughter, and would truly be at peace with it. I also knew, like you, that childbearing years do not last forever. You are very smart to be considering this now. The chances of success go way down as you approach 40 (though I have seen success stories in that age range).
We are not rich, but I also knew that it costs alot more money to raise 4 or 5 kids than it does two, even if the second came from high tech. The high tech price tag is a large lump sum at a single time, but the price of raising many kids over many years is alot more. This also helped me in my decision. Some facilities are associated (or were 2 years ago) with banks that will give you low interest rate loans, or loans with zero percent interest. I also saved, saved, saved. Its amazing how cutting many small things out of your spending adds up to hundreds (and then thousands) of dollars you can save.
The thing to be prepared for is the LENGTH of the process, and the rollercoaster. First: How do we get the money? Then: What clinic do I pick? Then: How is my pretesting (mine was lousy at 31, but only 5% of women encounter this at that age dont worry) Then: What do I do in response to pretesting results? Then: Will I get pregnant? Then: Will the pregnancy sustain itself (if it happens)? Then: Will the baby be healthy?
This is not at all meant to discourage you, but this is the thought process I went through during the very long and wild ride high tech is. I did get my daughter, but will never forget the process that brought her to us. It makes me even more grateful than I could ever be, and I am very happy and blessed. Good luck in whatever you decide, and take your time. Feel free to ask questions, and the High Tech Forum is very helpful (I lived there two years ago LOL)