Hi everyone, First time posting here. Can;t tell anyone IRL yet so i thought i might come here so that i dont drive myself MAD!!
My DH and I have 2 beautiful daughters, one who is 3 and one who is 9 months- i am currently on mat leave.
After DD 2 we decided that 2 was good for now and that maybe in 4 years if we could financially we would try for a 3rd. My husband is totally happy with just 2 and wanted to go for a vasectomy as soon as DD2 was born- seeing as how i have always wanted a son i asked him to hold off until i was 100% sure i was done too.
I am on the pill and have regular cycles - but this month AF never came - it is a week late and i KNOW i am pregnant... i am to scared to even take a test, because it will make it real. We are NOT in a financial situtation to have another baby- not to mention the fact that i wanted to get ready at least 6 months before ttc and do all the swaying stuff for a boy. i havent told my husband - or anyone. I know he is going to freak out- just like i am. and to top it off i feel so guilty for feeling scared that it may be another girl- not to mention that i know so many people who are having trouble trying to conceive and yet here i am worrying about the fact that i did- i feel like a HORRIBLE person.
I know i should just break down and get a test and tell my husband so that we can come up with some sort of plan- but at this point i still feel like pretending im not- (just for the record as soon as i was 3 days late i started taking my prenatal vitamins- just in case.)
I know everyone in my life will be soooo dissapointed with this news - to top everything else off.
My emotions are all over the place- one second happy that maybe i will finally get my lil boy, then scared that it will be another girl- then just hopefull that the baby will be healthy! Then scared for the type of life we will be able to provide for 3 children -
So confused, but feeling a bit better now that i have finally been able to express how i feel-
Thanks for Reading,