The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

I know exactly what you are talking about. A girl I am "friends" with has a 2 y/o boy and just found out she's pregnant with a girl. You'd think she won the lottery! I guess she DID win the gender lottery

When I started telling people I was pregnant, my neighbor who has two little girls was like "OMG, I HOPE it is a GIRL!!!". So, what if it isn't? Are you going to feel sorry for me?

Then my mom's BFF who I have known my entire life told me about 7 times that she was hoping for a girl AND said, in front of my husband, that we could only handle "one Charlie" in our family (Charlie is my stepson). Hence why the baby simply canont be a boy. Um, great. Thanks.

Thinking back on it, this is where my GD started. I didn't really feel strongly either way about boy/girl until people started making those comments and I felt like it was some kind of prize to have a girl and that people would be smug about it if I had a boy. What the hell? I mean when I think of a boy as a mini version of my husband whom I ADORE, that makes me pretty happy. But I guess a baby is good if I can't dress it up in lace and bows...

wow, that's horrible.... See im a bit of a "bi*ch" in the sense that i would have told them all to have some respect and how horrible their words are. We're unsure of what we're having at this point and have 4 kids combined (2 girls, 2 boys - only 1 child is mine and he's allllll boy so I am hoping girl this time). Everyone on my fb thinks it's going to be a girl too so I am not looking forward to having to say it's a boy either - but I also won't take people's b/s if they're going to be rude about it either ;)

I agree with people and their comments I was taking to my BFF yesterday about my OH and I looking at trying to conceive baby number 5 next year and told her we wold really like another girl. She informed me that with my " bad luck" I will have 2 more boys. That really pissed me off I love my boys. They are absolutely the sweetest kids ever. I didnt have 3 boys because I have bad luck. I am blessed because I had 3 healthy boys and a healhy girl. And I am proud to be a mom to 3 boys, even if on occasion all my kids (including our girl) drive me crazy. And if I do  happen to have 2 more boys then I have been blessed with 2 more oppertunitys to raise sweet little boys into amazing men.

runnerv711:

I know exactly what you are talking about. A girl I am "friends" with has a 2 y/o boy and just found out she's pregnant with a girl. You'd think she won the lottery! I guess she DID win the gender lottery

When I started telling people I was pregnant, my neighbor who has two little girls was like "OMG, I HOPE it is a GIRL!!!". So, what if it isn't? Are you going to feel sorry for me?

Then my mom's BFF who I have known my entire life told me about 7 times that she was hoping for a girl AND said, in front of my husband, that we could only handle "one Charlie" in our family (Charlie is my stepson). Hence why the baby simply canont be a boy. Um, great. Thanks.

Thinking back on it, this is where my GD started. I didn't really feel strongly either way about boy/girl until people started making those comments and I felt like it was some kind of prize to have a girl and that people would be smug about it if I had a boy. What the hell? I mean when I think of a boy as a mini version of my husband whom I ADORE, that makes me pretty happy. But I guess a baby is good if I can't dress it up in lace and bows...

Sounds like you live in a girl frenzy circle and I can relate to that because I have been around these people as well who act like having a boy is the worst thing in the world .  You're gonna have a great son.

As for whoever saying that only "one Charlie" is enough you can make a comeback saying that at least you won't have to deal with "multiple dramatic and hormonal tantrumy bitchy teenagers" and put a shove in the face HA! . (Of course wise and common sense ppl know this not true, but senseless ppl would think this since they stereotype too much and the ppl in your area tend to be like that).

 I'm sorry your friend is going through this. I was telling DH awhile ago that this is the main reason that I'm "worried" baby #2 will be a boy. I know that when I announce on facebook there will be so many rude comments and judgements if it's another boy. Naturally, I'm hoping for a girl since I already have a boy but if it's another boy, I will be happy just the same! I can think of a few specific people that would say something annoying about it and I just wouldn't want to hear it. I have actually had friends that have daughters only say things to me like "I hope I never have a boy" "I'm scared to have another, what if it's a boy?!?" and I don't even know what to say to them because I look over and there is MY sweet boy playing and I'm appauled that people can be soo dumb.
I hope your friend realizes that they're just dumb people and that most of them probably don't even realize that what they're saying is hurtful.

Pretty much everyone my husband told had a variation on the comment "You must be so disappointed not to have a son. Are you going to keep trying?" No one said anything like that to me, thank goodness, but his feelings were really hurt by those comments.

buttercup14:

"I hope I never have a boy" "I'm scared to have another, what if it's a boy?!?" and I don't even know what to say to them because I look over and there is MY sweet boy playing and I'm appauled that people can be soo dumb.

 

Well, I wouldn't call those people friends then. I actually have a former friend who said similar things to me and I'm really considering cutting her off for good. Not only is it a terrible thing to say, but to say it to moms of boys is just appauling. 

Facebook  It causes so many people needless pain! I have an account but spend very little time on there- a while ago I noticed it did cause GD and I also noticed how much happier I seemed when off! Some advice- really limit the time you spend on there. Also- "hide" people from your news feed who you think may post things that will hurt you or trigger GD. Show off your kids, brag about them, let everyone know how happy you are and *dare* them to stomp on your happiness! I do think some people feed off of negative energy and when they sense others' disappointment they will stomp on them.

 

yep GD is stemed from the society, family and more.

I was fine with the 4 boys I had then I wanted to bless the family with more babies, so DH and I tried for anotehr, it was a boy..and omg the topics came,and that hurt..so DH and I decided to try for a girl, no swaying that time..and we were told everything under the sun, if its a girl what will you do, if its another boy omg im sorry..etc..so I got told its a boy and I swore I jumped off the table and cried but I didnt, my heart did. only cus I felt like I failed.We said ok we are done, expectations are to high its expensive etc..but my GD got the better of me and my reaserch of swaying got the better of DH and I and we agreed to try again. Swaying, timing and more. Ugh.. got told another boya nd omg i feared the negative stuff..I have heard a few already, BUT so far none that has hurt me. I feel I failed my DH but thats it. we have 7 boys to be.

Facebook in general bugs me- the number of smug people on there is amazing.

The worst I heard was when a friend and his wife were pregnant with twins. She got pre-eclamsia and the twin boys were born at 30 weeks, they were both tiny (under 2 pounds each) and had a number of medical problems. Their survival was by no means assured. And some idiot left a post saying 'Congrats, I hope you are going to try again for a girl.' I was horrified- these babies are a gift and that was the best this person could say? Made me realize just how stupid and insensitive some people are.

Luckily the boys are doing well now, they are nearly a year, adored by their parents and are mostly where they should be developmentally, which matters most to any sane person rather than what is or isn't between their legs.

I just wanted to say that for me GD wasn't caused by society.

I remember being three years old and I was playing with a toy stove and already thinking that I couldn't wait to have a baby girl so she could play with toys like this. So wanting a baby girl has been in me forever and wasn't caused by any outside influences.

Nickajax#3:

I remember being three years old and I was playing with a toy stove and already thinking that I couldn't wait to have a baby girl so she could play with toys like this. So wanting a baby girl has been in me forever and wasn't caused by any outside influences.

 

Same here, but outside influences make it worse and to a degree, represent the larger part of my GD.

saggyrl11:

Facebook  It causes so many people needless pain! I have an account but spend very little time on there- a while ago I noticed it did cause GD and I also noticed how much happier I seemed when off! Some advice- really limit the time you spend on there. Also- "hide" people from your news feed who you think may post things that will hurt you or trigger GD. Show off your kids, brag about them, let everyone know how happy you are and *dare* them to stomp on your happiness! I do think some people feed off of negative energy and when they sense others' disappointment they will stomp on them.

 

Yup, ITA with that. I've started to "hide" quite a few people on FB myself. It is addictive tho and enables me to stay in contact with some people I really care about, so I find it hard to limit my time on there. I am making efforts tho.

 I've not been on here in a while, but I'm happy to say that my friend is doing MUCH better now!  After the hurt and anger wore off, she posted a status on facebook about how she couldn't understand how people could look at her perfect son and think that she would be so disappointed in being blessed with another one.  She did it with grace and without being nasty to the people who had commented those things and I'm sure it really made them think about what they had written.  She already has his nursery done and has named him.    

 ITA with all of this!  It is ridiculous.  I have a fb friend who recently announced her third pregnancy (she has two boys).  Literally, half the people were even referring to this unborn baby as 'she' even though gender is not at all determined (she just found out!). Also, lots of, 'praying it's a girl!' Seriously????  Wow.  When I do announce my third pregnancy, (if I'm lucky enough to get pg) I will HAVE to say something  if anybody happens to be stupid enough to make a comment like that.