GD.. dont even have a baby yet.

First of all ill just say this is my first time posting in this forum. Im actually not much of a forum person. Well im feeling like a complete idiot because im already becoming obsessed with wanting a girl and its only my first baby. Im 17 weeks so do not yet know the gender of the baby but my obsession is so bad that i cant even sleep. When i try to telk my fiance i dont want a boy (yet) he judges me and thinks i wont love our child. Im so nervous to find out if the baby is a he or she. Seems like everybody around me is having a boy and some are openly disappointed about it too. I will love a baby boy and we plan to have another baby soon after but i dread it will be two boys. I have the most intense feeling this one is a boy. I can just feel it. Anyway.. Does it make me a bad person or a selfish person to be stressing so much when its my first child? Most people say they dont mind what the gender is for their first but for some reason i do! No idea how ill cope if its a boy. Gosh i sound horrible!!!

I think GD can happen at any point- I know people who were disappointed with the gender of their first baby. I don't think it makes you a bad person at all. It's normal. But- all that said- it's maybe a good idea to start thinking about why you are so sure you don't want a boy and working through some of that?

No that's not weird at all. Happened to me also ;) when I was pregnant with my first (a boy) at first I actually didn't care. then at around 13 weeks or so I suddenly wanted a girl more and more. But like you I also knew for sure it was a boy. and I was right. (of course!) Had major GD once we foud out. suffered from huge depression. Horrible pregnancy. So I totally feel and understand you. You are not alone. I know it sounds cliche that once you have you child you will love him to death and he will be your everything! but it's useless to say that now, since you are still pregnant and also full of hormones. Do you have any ultrasound photos for us? we might be able to see some of gender for you already if you like.

 It happens.  I think the pp had a great idea to talk about why you want a daughter - asyou have a chance it can be a boy- or you could be wrong and you may have your daughter.  I know the feeling- I have 3 ds' and everytime wanted a girl.  The 1st we didn't know gender until he was born- and although I knew he was a boy in my heart - I was hoping for girl.  I love my sons, and I think we feel so much pressure n society to hav eth "balanced"  family and be perfect at everything.  no one is perfect- and your family will be unique to you.  Yesterday I went to medieum and asked if I would have a daughter in my life- and he was bang on on everything- and some beleive - others don't - but my point is., he said if I tried for my 4th child it would be a boy- I was crushed, and it really has me thinking - why keeping having children if I am going to be upset.  I love my sons, and they are greta and such a blessing- as any child is.  I wish you a healthy and wonderful pregnancy and although all babies are blessings- please know what you are feeling is okay- most have gd, but its how you handle it- and maybe a conversation with your fiance might make you feel better, and exploring why this girl is so importnant to you.  

GL

Thanks for the support it means a lot :) I know ill love my baby boy. I think im a bit of a control freak and feel a bit powerless in this situation. I get really jealous when i see a little girl because i feel ill never havevthat! Even though i haventveven gotten the 20 week ultrasound but i just feel it! I can post some ultrasound pictures though my last ones are from 13 weeks which may be too early! I should probably just wait it out. I only have 3 weeks until i know for sure. I kind of feel like this ultrasound is giving me false hope since i already feel its a boy but i have to go three more weeks hoping its a girl! Dont get me wrong though.. Ill be very happy with a boy.. Maybe ill just be afraid that all my babies will be boys! :(

I think from reading your posts that you don't mind if this little bundle of joy is a boy, if there is a girl in your future, and I'm sure a lot of other mums have felt like this.

I also suffered GD when pregant and thats how I found this site and the forums. At first when I found out I was pregnant I was so happy I didn't even think about gender. Then I found out it was twins and again the thought of boys or girls didn't really cross my mind.

Once I got to about 12 weeks and I told people I got comments like 'I bet you hope they're one of each', and ' I hope its not two boys that'll be hard work', 'do you want at least one to be a girl' etc etc. I got a lot of negitive comments regarding their genders being possibly two boys. This suddenly made me think more about what I wanted then to be and I became obsessed with it. I seemed to realise that I wanted a girl and even though we decided not to find out the gender at our 17 or 20 week scans, I did loads of research mainly on here at what to see in the scan for gender clues.

I posted the 12 pics on here and even though I got  or guesses I didn't let myself think one would be a girl in case I had two boys and was disappointed. I told NO ONE how I was feeling as I felt guilty. After coming to this fourm I realised that it is just natural and that we all want different things and have expectations about what our famillies will bring us.

One major factor with me was that because I had been so ill I expected it to be my one and only pregnancy so if I did have two boys that would be it - no daughter for me and I found this hard to take in.

In the end we have to learn to deal with what life deals us.

For me it is only ever having two children even though I always wanted a big family. I will always miss the others I could never have although I have dontaed my eggs so that gives me some comfort and I hope the children from those eggs come to find me one day.

Good luck with everything

 

Yes you're right about not really minding if it's a boy or a girl.. although im not sure if i mind or if im just telling myself that I dont mind! Argh. Hard to explain. Me and my fiance chose to have two babies now and then in about 5-7 years we will have two more.. and maybe one or two more again in another 5-7 years. But If i'm not having any more children for 7 years... i really want at least one of these first two to be a girl, and i dont want three kids close in age. So its hard to explain. I dunno. But thanks for the stories and advice, i really do appreciate it. :)