Can't take the comments

So, now that I'm showing and I'm clearly pregnant, I get comments from EVERYONE! I can't leave the house without running into some random stranger who wants to know everything about my pregnancy. When am I due? What am I having? And I felt like I was getting to the point where I was almost ok with not having a girl, until these questions started. When they ask, I even try to make sure that I answer like I'm excited. Rather than sulking and saying "oh,I'm having a boy," with clear disappointment. I'd put on a smile and saying "I'm having a little boy!!" and try to convey to the complete stranger that this is a good thing and I'm excited about it.

 But it doesn't seem to matter how I say it, I always get the same responses. I either get "Oh, that's nice," completely flat, or "Well, boys can be fun too, I suppose," or "Girl clothes are so much more fun to pick out, but at least you won't have to deal with a teenaged girl." I get so sick of all of this!! Why won't a single person tell me how great having a boy is without first knocking boys down and THEN trying to bring them up. This all would be so much easier if at least one person could be genuinely excited about it being a boy. When I'm at baby stores and another woman is having a girl, I feel like she gets more attention. Everyone is so happy for her. Everyone is excited about her baby and wants to help her pick out all the little outfits and talk about names, etc. But I can be in the same room and it's like I'm nothing, I don't matter. And I know part of it is my emotions and paranoia exaggerating the situation, but a lot of it is actually happening. Like, I actually kind of feel like an incubator right now, not a mother, because even when I try to enjoy it, others remind me that my child is somehow inferior because he's a boy.

 I want so badly to just move on with my GD and be happy about this pregnancy, but it's proving nearly impossible. I am already thinking about it all the time without all these complete strangers making me feel worse. So, am I just not supposed to leave the house? I feel completely lost and hurt right now, I just want it to end. I still have 15 weeks and I just need him to be here already so I can show people how wonderful and adorable he is. I need him in my arms so I can love him and know that baby boys are just as amazing as baby girls.

 also, as if having a teenager of any gender is easy! Boys can be serious trouble, too. I learned this watching my older brothers, my mother was stressed ALL the time. She said I was her easiest.

I don't know what to say, other than I'm sorry you're going through this. *Hugs* Although I don't have a son of my own, I DO know that boys are fun to shop for. I see cute boy clothes all the time I'm out shopping. I just moan and groan whenever I walk by them because I'm so depressed I don't have a son.

Regarding the comments people make, some people are just ignorant. They either suffered GD themselves, or they have no idea how fun boys can really be. If it makes you feel any better, I envy you tremendously.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and Happy Christmas!. I know people can be so nosy, but i guess some of it is just curiousity and don't take it so personally. Nothing to do with GD or pregnancy but i'm half Asian and when (mainly women) used to see me outside (we live in a very white part of England) they would REALLY notice me, i'de stand out and they'de say things like "don't they have lovely hair and/or eyes" or "i just LOVE Asian girls", my Mum would say "can't i just take you out without everyone having to comment on your ethnicity" (but deep down she was very proud) and so if there's a big ocassion or something a little unusual then this happens. NO he's not inferior because he's a boy and for what it's worth you have just what i'de like one day xx

Oh gosh! People are so aren't they? Some people clearly have no clue what they are talking about. I get the, "Have fun in 16 years." "Instead of worrying about one penis, you have to worry about the whole town." Is this your first? This is my first, im just excited to be a mom so the comments I tend to ignore. Yeah, lovely comments.

Congrats!

 When I was pregnant with my last girl (who I desparately wished was a boy!), no one ever said anything nice. One person actually said, "Girls are just awful, aren't they?"--and she was someone I KNEW! 

I guess it is the nature of people to make comments to pregnant women. But can't they at least say something nice?

If it makes you feel any better, I would be thrilled to be pregnant with a little boy, and if I saw you somewhere I would be sure to tell you how lucky you are!

I do not post often but lurk all the time...I have a 7 year old girl (and always viewed myself as a girl mom) and wanted my second child to be a girl too...I had a boy...big time GD but, guess what...little boys rock!!! My son is the easiest, sweetest, most adorable person you could ever imagine and I am so greatful I got him...I am pregnant again now (total oops baby IUD failed) and it is a girl and even though I am excited about who she will be I find myself thinking how cool it would be if she was a he. I say all of this just to say that each child is so special and unique (something apparently my son was sent here to teach me among other great lessons) and if I met you out somewhere I would tell you little boys are AWESOME, sweet, beautiful, adorable, funny and truly amazing! Keep your head up! Heres a picture of my little love...Cooper who just turned 2!

I say all of this just to say that each child is so special and unique (something apparently my son was sent here to teach me among other great lessons) and if I met you out somewhere I would tell you little boys are AWESOME, sweet, beautiful, adorable, funny and truly amazing! So true, and your son is absolutely beautiful, no wonder you're so proud. I had GD on my first boy and now again, but my son is awesome I love him more than I could have ever imagined. I just want my second to get here, cause once he's here it'll be different. Still want my girl though:-)

bethanytai77:

I do not post often but lurk all the time...I have a 7 year old girl (and always viewed myself as a girl mom) and wanted my second child to be a girl too...I had a boy...big time GD but, guess what...little boys rock!!! My son is the easiest, sweetest, most adorable person you could ever imagine and I am so greatful I got him...I am pregnant again now (total oops baby IUD failed) and it is a girl and even though I am excited about who she will be I find myself thinking how cool it would be if she was a he. I say all of this just to say that each child is so special and unique (something apparently my son was sent here to teach me among other great lessons) and if I met you out somewhere I would tell you little boys are AWESOME, sweet, beautiful, adorable, funny and truly amazing! Keep your head up! Heres a picture of my little love...Cooper who just turned 2!

This is me exactly!! My daughter will be close to 7 when my DS is born, and i have always considered myself a girl mom. Major GD when I found out I was having a boy. I hope I have the same experience as you, Bethanny! Your story is definitely encouraging! To the OP, I also get negative comments, only mine go something like, "well you have a girl, so I guess it's OK"... As if having a boy is second rate, or a disappointment, and the fact that I have a daughter makes it OK I got unlucky this time -- why isn't it possible for people to get excited over a boy?!?! I have GD as it is, it just validates my GD... it's so frustrating!!!

Bethany I remember you from this post:

http://www.in-gender.com/cs/forums/p/68348/620504.aspx#620504

Your son is soooo adorable!! Congrats on the new baby coming!

Sorry you are going through this, I HATE comments like that. First of all, why do people always assume girls are good to have because of the clothes?  Frankly, I enjoy boys clothes more, but I'd like to have a daughter someday for other reasons.  A coworker of mine asked if I was gonna have any more kids (I have two boys.)  I said, "I'd like to have one more." She said, "I know, you want a girl." I said, "No, I'd be happy with a third boy." She goes "Really? That surprises me.  I thought you'd want a girl for the clothes."

Also, people (strangers too) will say, "Are you gonna try for a girl?" I HATE that comment!  It makes it seem like the only reason to have a third kid is to try for another gender.  It also annoys me when people say, "I have a boy and a girl so I don't need to have a third.'

Okay, sorry, done my rant now :)

((HUGS)).  People are SO IGNORANT!!  We are expecting boy #3 and the comments I get are so insensitive!  The best thing to do is to ignore them or to fire back with a comment about how excited you are about your lil boy....that usually shuts them up

aben4me:

Congratulations on your pregnancy and Happy Christmas!. I know people can be so nosy, but i guess some of it is just curiousity and don't take it so personally. Nothing to do with GD or pregnancy but i'm half Asian and when (mainly women) used to see me outside (we live in a very white part of England) they would REALLY notice me, i'de stand out and they'de say things like "don't they have lovely hair and/or eyes" or "i just LOVE Asian girls", my Mum would say "can't i just take you out without everyone having to comment on your ethnicity" (but deep down she was very proud) and so if there's a big ocassion or something a little unusual then this happens. NO he's not inferior because he's a boy and for what it's worth you have just what i'de like one day xx

Aww that's just another example if how ignorant people are! I think people feel the need to comment on everything? My sons are biracial (African American and Italian) and they look alot alike and I get  comments like that also.  "oh I love their curly hair" or "oh I wish I had their tan skin" etc.  I just smile and nod...whatever