Pregnant after miscarriage. Somewhere to share your feelings when you're pregnant after a loss.

Hi girls,

I thought I'd start a new thread for those of us who are pregnant after one or more miscarriages. Most of us are still recovering from a loss and it's not always easy to talk about how we really feel in the usual forums. Lets have this be our safe place to come and chat when things are feeling tough or even if we have good news to share! 

 

So I'll start........... I'm 17 weeks pregnant after a 16 week loss followed by a very early m/c. I'm finding the new pregnancy harder than I expected with the worst days being appointments and scans. I expected to feel more confident once I'd passed 16 weeks but so far I still feel the same. I do have glimmers of happiness as most days I do feel a little wiggle here and there. They keep me sane.......

How's everyone else doing? 

Hi Sindy I am the opposite of you in terms of losses. We had an early one in March and lost our son at 14 weeks October 19. I just got my first period today and then we are going to decide when to TTC again. I am so worried that I will be paranoid the whole pregnancy. How long did you wait to conceive after your loss and did you sway? I dont think I will sway as I truly just want a baby. I did timing and a bit of the diet last time and conceived a boy. Hoping luck is on my side again. Hoping each day gets easier for you and you can enjoy the pregnancy. Are you finding out gender?

princessap:

How long did you wait to conceive after your loss and did you sway?

Hi princessap, we tried again the 1st month after my normal period. I tried to sway but was also focused on just getting pregnant. The 1st month I did diet, supplements and timing but the 2nd month was harder as it was after my early m/c so my cycle was really messed up. I still tried to do the supplements and a weak attempt at the diet but didn't worry about the timing. 

princessap:

Are you finding out gender?

Yes, so far I think we are. I've never found out before but after losing my little girl I feel like every moment with them is special and I'd like to get to know who I have in there as soon as possible.

princessap:

Hoping luck is on my side again. Hoping each day gets easier for you and you can enjoy the pregnancy

That's so sweet! Thank you. It's difficult and I am paranoid but I think the end result will be worth it.

 

Keep me posted with what you decide to do about trying again. I wish you heaps of luck 

 

Hi Sindy I admire you so much for TTC again right away. I dont think I am there yet. I know you mentioned you tried after your first period and then you mentioned not knowing when in your cycle you were. Did you get pregnant right away after your miscarriage again without getting another period? On a personal note...how did you know you were ready to try again? I am so scared to try again but on the other hand so scared not to try again as I want more babies sooooo much!

princessap:

On a personal note...how did you know you were ready to try again?

For me it was just part of my healing and desperate need to fix things. I just felt empty and wanted to fix it as soon as possible.

Yes I got pregnant the 1st month after my period, had an early m/c and then got pregnant the 2nd month again. I didn't wait for another period as it was an early m/c and I was feeling very impatient. My cycle (the 2nd time) was a mess but I used a lot of OPKs and that helped.

princessap:

I am so scared to try again but on the other hand so scared not to try again as I want more babies sooooo much!

That's how I felt. I know it's scary, I worry every day but I want a baby so much and that keeps me going. 

Thanks for starting this, Sindy!

I've had two m/c's. The first time the baby died at 13 weeks, and I m/c 4 days later; the second time, the baby died at about 10 weeks, and I m/c 3 weeks later. I'm 5 weeks pregnant now and trying to be optimistic, while also being realistic that there is a good chance I am just going to m/c again. "Fortunately," I found out that I have am positive for anti-thyroid antibodies (which is associated with increased m/c rate) and am on thyroid medication to treat that, so hopefully that will "fix" whatever is wrong with me that caused me to lose my last two babies.

I did have a spotting scare a couple of days ago, so I had a couple of betas done this week. On Tuesday, my beta was 825; on Thursday (today) it was 1764 - so a doubling time of 43.78 hours! Obviously, good betas don't guarantee that everything will be okay, but I feel better that the spotting probably doesn't mean that I am in the process of miscarrying right at the moment.

Minervasmom. Keeping you and you little one in my thoughts an hoping for a h&h 9 months for you!! Sindy, thanks for answering my questions. I go back and forth about when to TTC again and whether to try any swaying, although the only real swaying I did was timing and drinking lemon water. I dont believe in supplements and all the extreme stuff (just my opinion). I really want to be pregnant but am sooo scared I will be a paranoid mess. I worry as I am 34 and always wanted four kids and feel like my time is running out.

Hi ladies.  Thanks for starting the thread Sindy.  I wasn't sure what forum it should go in, so put it off, so I'm glad you made a decision!!

I swayed for 10 months and had mc's month 6 and 8.  After AF arrived on cycle 10 we ditched the supps, diet etc and just did frequent bd and finally got a sticky bfp.  I'm 9+4 and it's flying in with my sons 7th birthday party coming up and christmas shopping.  I've had 2 early scans at 6+4 and 8+4 and next one at 13 weeks.  I don't feel pg, just tired and a fantastic cleavage!!  I don't know how I feel - scared that it's going to end badly at times but other times I kind of forget and get on with my day.  This baby is our last and my desire for a daughter hasn't gone away, but I think acceptance that she will probably never be is under way.  Sure, when I find out in early January I'm sure I will shed a tear for the daughter that will never be but I don't think i could ever be disappointed after the journey myself and dh have been on this past year.  I had been hoping for ms so that I'd have hope of a girl but just like my boys, no sickness!!

MM - glad your beta's are looking so good.  xx

 

Sindy...I am thinking of TTC again, feeling like it will help me a bit. Just wondering how you used OPKs after the m/c? when did u start testing again? which ones did you use?? thanks so much!

princessap:

Sindy...I am thinking of TTC again, feeling like it will help me a bit. Just wondering how you used OPKs after the m/c? when did u start testing again? which ones did you use?? thanks so much!

TTC - or thinking about ttc - was the only thing that really helped me start to feel better after my m/c's.  If you start trying before you get AF, OPKs will most likely not be helpful. You will still have hcg in your system, so your OPKs may just always be positive. (I never tried using OPKs right after a m/c because we weren't ttc. However, I use OPKs like HPTs, and this pregnancy I got a positive OPK at 12 dpo. So my hcg wasn't very high - probably only 50-100 - in order to get a positive OPK.)

I was able to start using OPKs the first cycle after I got AF, and they worked just fine. My hcg was usually negative - or barely detectable - around the time that my first AF was finished. The ones I use are from early pregnancy tests.

Thanks MM...I just got my first period this week so not sure when to start using OPKs. I had one incident of spotting Tuesday, some more Wednesday and then period Thursday. What do I count as CD1?? Am going to do a partial sway for boy but will be just as happy with another little girl.

minervasmom:

Thanks for starting this, Sindy!

You're welcome! It's nice to have a place to come and talk. 

Good news that your betas are rising!! 

You asked in the other thread how I manage to keep this pregnancy quiet...... well, I do have a bump but I mostly manage to cover it up with loose dark tops and when I'm doing the school run etc I have a large shoulder bag that I carry across it. I'm sure if you really looked you'd be able to see, but I'm probably at the, "Has she put weight on?" stage. Most people are too afraid to ask until it's really obvious. Oh, and my bump is definitely bigger later in the day than in the morning. I don't go out after dinner . I'm just not ready to tell the world yet. Last time I hadn't told anyone except close family but my someone in my family told lots of people and after the loss it made me angry that so many insignificant people knew but my own children didn't. 

Mrs_Incredible:

Thanks for starting the thread Sindy.  I wasn't sure what forum it should go in, so put it off, so I'm glad you made a decision!!

I thought it was a great idea when I saw yours and MM's posts about it. It's hard to know where to put this thread but I thought down here feels a bit safer for anyone who's just had a miscarriage. 

It's lovely to hear your update. I'm so happy things are going well this time. It's funny 'cause I don't have a lot of symptoms either. Most of the time I wish I did........ it would be easier to relax. I have to rely on prodding my boobs all the time to see if they still hurt . I'm excited to find out if you're having a boy or a girl. My next scan is 3 weeks today. I think I'm going to find out but might change my mind at the last minute. When I'm in there gender is the LAST thing on my mind

 

 

princessap:

Sindy...I am thinking of TTC again, feeling like it will help me a bit. Just wondering how you used OPKs after the m/c? when did u start testing again? which ones did you use?? thanks so much!

Hi princessap, I agree with MM, ttc again really helped me move forward. It's hard because you're looking to the future whilst your heart is stuck in the past but it gave me something to focus on. 

So the 1st month after my period I started using OPKs around CD10. I ovulated like normal that month. The 2nd month I didn't wait for a period as it was such an early m/c. I counted the m/c as CD1 and used the OPKs at CD10 again. It was more confusing to track what was going on as I had a big hormone surge when I would normally have ovulated (following my regular cycle if I hadn't have been pregnant) but I kept testing and about 5-6 days later than normal I actually ovulated. That's when we concieved. If I hadn't have kept testing I would have missed it. I used First Response OPKs.