What is with the "DIVA" thing?

  I just have a question. This is something that has been bothering me for a while. Last night I was at a hockey game and I ran into a guy that I used to work with a few years ago and we started chatting and we were getting caught up. We went through the usual "Wow 3 boys? You must be busy"  Of course he has a girl and a boy. He told me how the girl started Kindergarten this year. "She has such an attitide" he said. "She is such a little Diva". 

Now the reason why I am bringing this particular conversation up is because I hear this so often with people who have daughters. Actually, I hear it like 90% of the time I speak with parents who have little girls.

 

So here is my question. What do parents really mean when they say that their daughters have "attitudes" or that they are "Divas"? I have just heard this so many times. Surely not all little girls are Divas and if they are, it can't be their fault. It can't be innate right? So here is what I was thinking about for the entire 2nd period when I should have been watching the game.

1. Is it just a way to brag about the little girl? For example - My daughter is spunky and gets what she wants. She's not a pushover.

2. Is it sexism? Maybe people expect girls to be well behaved and quite so when they act normal with normal behaviour issues the parents say she has an attitude?

3. Is it princess syndrome? If you treat your dd like a princess and she will act like a princess...

4. Are they trying to make me feel better because I have all boys? 

 

All I know is that it bugs me for reasons that I can explain but I know it surely stems from GD.

Please note that I am not bashing girls in any way. I love girls. Just trying to understand.

 

Hmm.. that's an odd phrase for parents to use about their girls because to me, diva has a negative implication to it?

Diva is the urban vocab for princess. Supposedly it's a positive thing.

My interpretation of this would be that the diva part is referring to the tantrums she may throw. By this i don't mean being a spoilt brat tantrums, i mean that when kids get to a certain again (pre-school) and they are starting to become their own person. They need to find ways of expressing themselves and as they are still quite young a tantrum is a way of dealing with what they don't understand. I only say this as this is how my girls act so perhaps it is a common way for girls to behave, whereas boys may have other ways of dealing with this.

grits:

Diva is the urban vocab for princess. Supposedly it's a positive thing.

 

Yep, that's my understanding as well.

I don't really like the term and would never refer to my dd as a diva. Hope she never behaves in a way that someone would call her that, lol. Around my neck of the woods diva means a bratty child.

 No offense to anyone, but when I hear "Diva" I think spoiled little brat.

PeachyKeen:

 I only say this as this is how my girls act so perhaps it is a common way for girls to behave, whereas boys may have other ways of dealing with this.

 

See the thing is that my boys too have attitudes and throw tantrums at times. I think you're right when you say -they need to find ways to express themselves. But you don't hear people going around saying "my little boys is such a Diva" or any male equivalent. Personally, I think it's sexist but I would never really point that out to someone in conversation kwim?

 I guess it's not JUST the word "DIVA" it's that people are always commenting on their dd's behavior:

-she's so bossy

-she has attitude

-she's very feisty

 

I dont' know. Maybe I'm just reading into it too much 

Gus...:

 No offense to anyone, but when I hear "Diva" I think spoiled little brat.

 

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If someone ever described one of my daughters as a diva, I'd be thoroughly embarrassed. As a PP said, I equate it as meaning spoiled brat so I would never use it as a means to brag.

I suppose I'd chalk it up to a bit of sexism and princess syndrome. If some individuals expect their daughters to be placid individuals, it'd be a shock to them if they had no trouble voicing their opinion. In the other sense, if you parent your daughter, or child for that matter, with the thought that they can do no wrong, must have everything they ask for, and allow them to do as they please, you have yourself a recipe for a spoiled brat.

My eldest is seven so I know all too well the attitude that she can, sometimes, project. She has days where she acts and talks as if she's 17, knows everything, and I'm an idiot. I have no tolerance for that so she quickly gets reprimanded. It's not cute and I refuse to let her act that way.

Personally, I never use the word Diva to describe my daughters, and I have never really heard anyone else say this. To be honest, I really don't care what other people refer to their children as, especially if it isn't something I would say anyway. But I definitely wouldn't call my girls divas...although in a few years, who knows. Hopefully I won't start thinking that my daughters are acting like divas, which I would take to mean spoiled, pushy, demanding and annoying (something none of my girls are).

 When my son is acting up I tell him to stop acting like a Divo. Now I know this word doesn't exist but I feel there should be an equal word so I made one up

Smommy:

Is it princess syndrome? If you treat your dd like a princess and she will act like a princess...

honestly, this is what i think it means. at least, that is what i think when i hear someone use it. i personally loath phrases like Diva and Princess when used to describe babies, girls, or young women. i think it is utterly stereotypical and sexest in that we are "moulding" our girls to be simply girlie and not to be well rounded human beings.

i dont use these words to describe my DD. i refuse! and when i hear it being used it actually makes me a little sad. i feel like that beautiful little girl is being pigeon holed to become a sex object or a person who is only valued for being pretty and uber materialistic.

to other people these words may have a different connotation and other parents may feel fine using them b/c to them they mean something totally different. and if that is their choice, so be it. but for me personally i dont want my DD to grow up thinking that those phrases are positive or that those values are correct.