Gender scan in ONE hour! *Update on OP*

Oh hun, I totally feel your pain. I had huge pressure on me to have a girl as like you I am the only girl in my family and finally after 27 years I gave them one. I love my boys with all my heart and my DS2 is the most cuddlie cute boy ever, as he was my worst GD baby. I felt so guilty after meeting him at how I did not enjoy my pregnancy I have bonded with him so strong were like two peas in a pod hee hee. I'm sure you will feel different after meeting your little man just as I did mine   Please dont give up hope, I had 2 DS's before my DD and to be honest now she is here my family dont seem as bothered as I thought they would. True she got spoilt before birth but after she has been treated the same as my boys and if anything a little less attention, probably them trying not to show favouritism.

Huge Hugs

Congratulations on your healthy baby boy!

So sorry you are feeling low. I too really wanted a girl first and also so I could have the first granddaughter on both sides (dh side very boy heavy). I didn't know til the birth and did feel disappointment when DS was born. Coming from an all girl family i hadnt a clue what to do with a boy! I was lucky and really did not have much disappointment but that was mainly because it was my first baby and it is such a special time. As others have said on your first it is SO hard to really picture what it is like having your own baby who is YOUR child. It is so very special and the whole new world of motherhood that opens up to you is so exciting! The baby clothes, pushchairs, highchairs, showing off your gorgeous baby to everyone, mother and baby groups, strolling in the park in the sunshine with your baby when all your friends are in work!

All these things are so lovely regardless of pink or blue, boy or girl. But I do understand it is very hard to see that now and this is a hard time for you. Hoping with time you will start to feel better. The birth of your first baby is so special, you have such lovely times ahead I promise! And you never know what the future will bring as it turned out even though there were other babies born in the family after ds they too were boys and I did get to have the first granddaughter after all!!

Wishing you all the best for the rest fo your pregnany and a healthy baby son next feburary! Hang in there, good times ahead! 

I'm so sorry sweetie you are feeling bad and having GD ((HUGS)) If I can suggest doing some blue shopping there is so much cute boy stuff out right now

To those making negative comments please if you can't be supportive of the OP don't say anything!! Nothing she is saying should be considered as boy bashing. Nicola does not need to explain why she feels the way she does. Please remember people IG is here to support those working though their GD not make it worse.

Chachamama:

OP - I always feel the worst for women who have GD with their first.  I can't imagine the type of pain that would be.. and I say that in a non-judgemental way, because first time moms can't fathom the love you have for that child.  When you're pregnant and haven't held a child yet (or before you have children of your own, whether that is adoption or what have you!), you can't begin to understand the unconditional love that goes along with it.  How you want to spend every single second kissing them and holding them.  How their happiness is your happiness.  It sounds cheesy, but it is oh-so true.

I can try to relate to this the best I can.  When I was pregnant with DS2 and found out he was a boy at 20 weeks, I was upset.  I cried.  It took me almost to the end of that pregnancy to truly feel OK.  I think a huge part of my disappointment was because I loved DS1 SO much that I didn't think I could love "the same" (meaning another DS) as much.  I thought the only love I had to give was for something i hadn't experienced already.. a girl.  I am so, so glad I was wrong.  Once DS2 was born I realized how very wrong I was.  Ironically, the disappointment I felt with DS2 would never happen again.  I now realize that a mother's love knows no gender.  Would I like to have a daughter?  Yes!  But having another son wouldn't feel any less special.  My life wouldn't be any more complete or any more happy with a daugther.

I hope something I said helped.  I promise you.. you will be posting again in February, telling us that you never knew how much you could love another human being and how you can't believe you wasted tears wishing he was a boy.  I know it doesn't feel like that now, but you will

This is great!!!  

I didn't even find out the gender with #2...because I had experienced what a child of mine was like.  And, I would take 10 of them...of ANY gender.    With DS1, I couldn't imagine in a million years what having him, nursing him, loving him would be like...until he was here.  I just had NO idea.  With DS2, I knew that if he came out with 2 heads, I still wouldn't be able to resist his "my baby" charms.    Thinking about you today, and hoping each day gets a bit easier. 

Nicola Kate:

It was so important to me to give my family the first granddaughter

Oh, Nicola, I totally understand.  I'm currently working on my parent's SEVENTH grandson.  And it looks like this was probably the last chance for a girl in this family.  And I blew it.  It's so hard when your family has such a big influence on your gender disappointment.   And even with DS1, I didn't find out the gender because I knew how badly I wanted a girl, and I hoped that if I waited until birth to find out, I'd be okay with whatever.  Well, instead I had severe post-partum depression.  So I think it's good you found out now, so you can be prepared for it.  And how horrible that the first tech told you girl?!  I'm so sorry you are dealing with this.  I know how hard it is.  *HUGS*

There are no rules when it comes to GD and I am so sorry it has found you Your feeling are valid hun. I'm sorry you are not having what you hoped for and in time I know your pain will ease. Congrats on your boy.

Nicola Kate:

I don't want to deal with the circumcision issue (me vs my DH).

I don't look forward to that either if this is a boy.

Nicola Kate:

I wanted to give my parents their first granddaughter (instead of yet another grandson) and my 82 year old grandmother the great-granddaughter she so desparately wants before she passes on (her words). 

Perhaps you still can in a few years? Do you plan on having more children? My parents don't have grandchildren yet, im an only child, I kinda feel like I need to have one of each. DH's parents only have grandsons but they have 2 great-grandaughters so I don't feel the need to have a girl for them.

Nicola Kate:

My husband and I cannot even think of a boy name that we like enough to actually use

 We cannot agree on boys names either, we can agree on Olivia Jane for a girl though. I like the name Blake for a boy but he doesn't.

Just remember though, as much as you wanted a girl, you can still have one. This is your first I think your first will be very special for YOU regardless of what your family thinks. Of course you can still honor your grandmother in the future with future children. My middle name for a girl "Jane" was my father's grandmother whom I never knew because she passed away before I was born.

Good luck hun yes it will get better!

I haven't seen any negative comments regarding in reponse to the OP's post. Were they already deleted? There are no rules to GD true im not sure if there were anyone implying there were

 Nicola,

I am the girliest girl you can imagine. honestly, i have like 10000 pairs of high heels. I always thought i would have little girls...now that I have DS, I cant imagine not having him. He is a total little buddy, a mamma's boy. Sleeps with me every night because he likes to cuddle. 

I kind of wanted a girl for number 2, but I am great with having a boy because if i have another one like DS, i would be a really lucky woman. I know you cant imagine it now, but you will have a little person, who has his own personality. now I  find myself getting excited when I see dump trucks on the road because i know he will get excited. 

also, i have a good friend who has two girls, biggest tomboys ever. cant stand shopping or anything pink. kind of the life is a box of chocolates thing. 

 my brother is a fighter pilot, very handsome, and you should see my mother (and every other lady)when he walks into a room. tears in her eyes every time. you will feel that way. 

just give yourself time.

hugs

Nicola Kate:

Update: Thanks for everyones support, it's a boy.  

I am beyond devastated.   What made it worse, was that they told me ''It's a GIRL!'' first. Then my world came crashing down 2 seconds later.

Stupid F***ing techs. There no freaking way anybody should ever do that. Ever. I hate them all, for doing this to people.

I am so sorry  you did not hear the words you wished for today. Lots of hugs.

I don't think the techs meant to be cruel but they were less than tactful and very unprofessional.  Our techs always make sure they know what the gender is before they say anything. 

I don't understand this form of GD it being a first child but GD can rear it's ugly head in many forms.  I really hope you find peace with having a little boy and know when you see him you'll fall head over heels in love.  It may not seem it now as you're hurting so much but it will come. 

I hope you find peace sweetie   .

 ((hugs)) I am sorry you didn't hear girl, Nicola. Thinking of you.

I hope as the days/weeks pass on, the pain goes away and you will soon be excited for him. ♥

PolkaDotsAndSunshine:

Although I can't completely relate since I'm not pregnant yet, I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone at all for having a gender preference for your first. I too desperately want a girl for my first. I do want boys, but I really want a girl first. For one, I'm super girly just like you said you are. 

I've been trying to convince myself lately that having a boy first might be okay, so that by the time I do start ttc I can truly be able to welcome a baby boy if that's I'm blessed with first. Sometimes when I see really cute baby boy outfits or cute baby boys, I feel guilty like it's wrong that I would be disappointed to have a boy. It seems like more people on here want girls, like boys are the minority. I really wish I could be completely gender neutral and not seem like I'm following the crowd. I can't explain every reason why I want a baby girl first.. the heart just wants what the heart wants. You're not alone in this. (((HUGS)))

 Are you planning on having more children? If you are, maybe you'll get your girl next. Then she'd have a big brother to protect her and look out for her.  This is something I keep telling myself when I look for reasons that it might be okay to have a boy first. 

We're all here for you. Let yourself be sad if you need to. Take care of yourself. 

 Me too... I also am not pregnant yet so I don't know exactly how it feels but I too have the strong desire for a girl for my first... complicated by the fact I will probably only be able to have one child. So I really feel the anxiety (to the point I am looking for a clinic willing to do PGD for a first child....). 

 *hugs* to you, take care of yourself, it is ok to be sad. You are not alone in feeling this way.