Due Oct with gender disappointment - need all your prayers and courage!

Hello Ladies,

I''ll be expecting my first baby on 3rd october 2010. Just as the title says above, as a fellow October buddy, i may need all your support, prayers and courage to go through this first pregnancy (with a GD!). DH and I were expecting for a girl, but I was told in my 22 week scan that my baby would be a boy (doctor pointed out a scrotum - which to me does not look bulbous enough to me and a penis which somehow looks strange, but anyhow, i was so sure it wasn't a girl because nothing looks girly there, ie , no three lines, labia folds, etc - also i went to a highly reputable clinic which i doubt they'd make a guess based on a very basic anatomy but i will get it checked again during my OB visit next time). Actually i don't want to believe on OWT, but the way i am carrying has also convinced me that it is a baby boy. I carry small, all belly and looks a bit pointy with hips still slim. I don't gain much weight up till this stage now.

DH and I went crazy over girl things in first 4 months of pregnancy and was soooo hoping for a baby girl (no girls have been born in DH's side for 3 generations!) we excitedly and eagerly picked girls names, but when we found out it was a boy, we both quite shattered and i've even had a lot of cries since then. This morning the first thing i did when i woke up was crying! As soon as i opened my eyes i felt like i only wanted to live in 'dream' world where i could be told i would be having a girl.  To make things worse, DH's cousin husband who's also due in Oct with their first baby is expecting a girl. My heart is crushed and feels God has forgotten about us and i feel that my baby girl has been stolen. :( . I realise nothing could change what's already baking in the oven now, and all i could ask from God is the strength to go through this pregnancy until the end and deliver a healthy baby!

My best friend assures me that it is not a bad thing for not having a girl yet, she said God is already very kind to give me a baby (whereas other people are struggling to conceive). I guess my desire for a baby girl comes after i became pregnant, maybe it's just motherly instinct / desire to nurse and raise a daughter (just like between me and my mom). As much as my heart hurts for 'losing' a baby girl this time, but i've realised how beautiful it is to become a mother and makes me appreciate all mothers around the world. Therefore, I want to live this life in a positive manner and (secretly) hope for some pink dust to come in the future.

 Sorry for the long speech, but i appreciate it if you would like to send me your support and courage

Hi honey, Gosh - I am sending you a HUGE hug - I TOTALLY, 110% know how you feel - I have been there twice. GD is such a cruel emotion - if only we could turn these terrible feelings off! I have 2 positive things to say to you ..... 1. I know it may seem hard to believe now, but when you meet your gorgeous little baby boy, you will utterly love and adore him ......2. There is still time for more babies - and 'when' you do get your little girl, how lovely it will be for her to have a big brother to stick up for her in the playground! I hope you feel a little brighter soon - lots of love xx

 I have two little boys and am now pregnant with a little girl. I went through this with my first two boys and I cannot even begin to tell you how in love with them I am!! Little boys LOVE their mommy's! When you hold that baby in your arms, your heart will just melt...I'm telling you because I've been in your shoes! Little boys are amazing, so sweet and so creative. They are precious. Enjoy having a little boy. I have a little girl on my way for my 3rd and I'm soooo glad she will have two older brothers to protect her! Funny thing is, I wanted a girl so badly and am now having mixed emotions because I know how much I love having little boys and I'm afraid I won't be as good a mommy to a little girl. My little boy tells me he loves me about ten times per day and they both give me hugs and kisses all the time. They come in from playing outside just to give me the flower they picked for me. Just wait...you will fall head over heels for that sweet baby boy and try to remember that God picked you out specially to be that little boy's mommy. I know it's hard, but try to stay positive. I've been in your position, so I know how you feel. But, from my experience, I can't tell you how happy I am to be blessed with two sweet little boys who love me more than anything! 

Thank you for all your replies!

I have felt soooo much better these days because i can feel that my GD is slowly disappearing. I'm on my third trimester now and i will soon hold this baby in my arms.. the baby is already kicking and moving a lot. This has made me bonded sooooo close with the baby despite the gender i'm carrying... gosh.. it is such a beautiful feeling! 

To be honest, occassionally I do still get heartaches knowing that some other people (that i know of) are expecting a little girl, whereas i was given a boy - the least that i wanted to hear from U/S scans in my early days of pregnancy! Don't get me wrong, there's sooo much that i love about babies in general but it's heard to get yourself up when you are pregnant (emotionally unbalanced - damn hormones) and there's a feeling wanting to hold your own little girl. I know it'll not be so soon that i can hold my own little girl on my arms.. but i hope that day will come true although i don't know what plans God has for me, sometimes i can't just be so lucky getting whatever that i want.

I am the eldest in my family, since i was young i had always wished i had an older brother that could protect me and there were days that i also wished i wasn't the eldest, too embarassed to use the words "i'm the eldest". Now i think that wish will come true for my 'future girl' (if God permits), to have an older brother to protect her... knowing that she won't go through the difficulties that her mother had when she was younger. Gosh, maybe now i know why the universe works in a mysterious ways.

loveychoc:

I have felt soooo much better these days because i can feel that my GD is slowly disappearing. I'm on my third trimester now and i will soon hold this baby in my arms.. the baby is already kicking and moving a lot. This has made me bonded sooooo close with the baby despite the gender i'm carrying... gosh.. it is such a beautiful feeling! 

Wonderful to hear this - I am so pleased you are feeling better about things! Hope your 3rd trimester flys by and you'll be holding that lovely little baby soon. Good luck x