Just wanted to offer hugs and let you know that I have been there! It is SO hard to have one twin need so much and take so much more of your time. My twins were the same way. At times, I felt that my more challenging twin took 90% of my time. It was exhausting...not just the work with one twin, but the guilt I felt from not spending as much time as I wanted with the others.
My twins are now 6 1/2yr and things are much easier for us. At the beginning of kindergarten, my more 'difficult' twin was diagnosed with sensory issues (we knew he had some of these problems, but weren't aware how difficult it was for him) and ADHD. For years, we had struggled with tantrums, rages, odd little 'quirks'...related to the sensory stuff, discipline issues...you name it. My son was impulsive, aggressive, but not cruel or mean hearted. Still, he was labeled "trouble" at preschool and lots of other moms claimed I "just didn't discipline my child". It was heartbreaking! Getting the diagnosis allowed us to understand him more and understand that much of the time, he simply cannot control himself.
I am not saying this is why your child struggles with adhd as my child does, but the behaviors sound similar. If you want to hear more about our journey, please feel free to PM me. I wish you the best of luck with your child.
8 years old. My sweet, wonderful big boy!
6 year old twins. Two of the most amazing people I have ever met!
The Baby Sister, Little Margot arrived 7/15/08. What a light in our lives!