This is really bad, I am not even pregnant yet and I have GD again. CHances are I will get pg in the next few months and already I have depression over the fact that most likely it will be a boy. I have joined the sway forum and am trying to do some of the sway factors, but I know it is still 50/50 basically. I am just feeling so done with the boys, as I type this the 3 youngest are being roughnecks! All I want is 1, just 1 more girl.....and I just know in my heart of hearts that its not gonna happen, but unwilling to not try!
I think I seriously need help, this wanting a girl has consummed me the last few weeks! I am starting to have all the negative feelings I did with my last boy. Like when he is born, I will just not go visit him( I tend to have early babys who spend weeks in SCN/NICU), I won't call, won't pump and so on. How ever with Rowan I did call,did pump and so on at times it felt like it was all an act...so I didn't seem to be the monster I felt like.. I was depressed and the nurses( who I know from earlier babies) noticed a huge difference in me, and even wrote in their charts how down I was. All those feelings are surfacing again ..and i am NOT even pregnant.
Anyhow I just wanted to get it out, today is turning out to be a very down day for me and already have had baby girls on the brain. I just needed to vent and put my feelings out there.