How bad is this, I have EGD and I am not even pg yet!!

This is really bad, I am not even pregnant yet and I have GD again.  CHances are I will get pg in the next few months and already I have  depression over the fact that most likely it will be a boy.  I have joined the sway forum and am trying to do some of the sway factors, but I know it is still 50/50 basically.    I am just feeling so done with the boys, as I type this the 3 youngest are being roughnecks!    All I want is 1, just 1 more girl.....and I just know in my heart of hearts that its not gonna happen,  but unwilling to not try!

I think I seriously need help, this wanting a girl  has consummed me the last few weeks!  I am starting to have all the negative feelings I did  with my last boy.  Like when he is born, I will just not go visit him( I tend to have early babys who spend weeks in  SCN/NICU), I won't call, won't pump and so on. How ever with Rowan I did call,did pump  and so on at times it felt like it was all an act...so I didn't seem to be the monster I felt like.. I was depressed and the nurses( who I know from earlier babies) noticed a huge difference in me, and even wrote in their charts how down I was.   All those feelings are surfacing again ..and i am NOT even pregnant.  

Anyhow I  just wanted to get it out, today is turning out to be a very down day for me and already have had baby girls on the brain.  I  just needed to vent and put my feelings out there.

Thanks

Rebecca 

 I wouldn't go into it assuming you will have another boy. You have several girls, so it it completely likely you will have a girl again. Plus, if you let yourself get depressed about the pregnancy before it even begins, you will have a hard 9 months! Try the best sway you can, and stay positive! Good luck!!

try not to get too down (i know thats easier said than done).  you have had girls before so you are just as likely to to have another as you are to have a boy!

i wish you the best of luck and my fingers are crossed x

Thanks . I know that there is a chance, but I feel  so lost.  I feel that God will never grant me another daughter, I am so depressed about this.   Something has changed since my dd was born/died.   WHy oh why can't I have a dd?

Rebecca