Do you ever get moments of clarity?

Does this happen to anyone else?

I sometimes get these moments of clarity and I pray to God that they come more often and last longer.

Last night I had an evening out with dh and as we were driving home I couldn't wait to run through the door and watch my babies sleep. As we were making our way home, I started thinking about the day I had with the kids and how funny and loving they were. I started telling DH stories about the kids and we laughed together. At that moment gender was not an issue. The love that I have for those boys runs so deep and at that moment I felt complete. Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I am.

I have them when I see all of the boys (including dad) goofing off together.  Or when somebody says/does something funny when we're all together and we end up giggling.  It all feels right.

Yep, I get those too.  That's when I wonder why I want a girl so much.  I don't really know why I feel the desire for a girl.  My boys keep me really busy and give me more than I deserve in love.  I guess it's just the not knowing what it's like to have one and seeing all these other people go on and on about how wonderful and superior girls are.

All the time. During the good times my boys are all I need. It's the tough times that cause my GD to flare up.

oh yeah.  I had one yesterday after a very long birth.  her baby came out and it wasn't what they thought and I thought wow, that must be hard.  then i thought about my own disappointment with my last baby and how much its changed. 

he is the best child I have had thus far. 

and so that experience of seeing all that work and then to be disappointed made me think a lot.  Life is too short to waste on anger or hurt. and you just have to go on. our kids deserve it.

I wanted another girl cause its been a decade, but now I don't know.  I think I'd be more at ease with a boy cause I know the little guy I have right now is so easy.

honestly, I am just happy to be healthy, to work at home and be with him & that he is funny enough to make me smile on my worst days.  my clarity is, I am lucky to be a mom.

hamburgerplease:

All the time. During the good times my boys are all I need. It's the tough times that cause my GD to flare up.

You are so right!  I think I am the same exact way.  On good days, I am so satified with my boys, on bad days, my GD flares up and I sink ito the, "what ifs."