Different gender desire with age?

I am one mama that wanted a son so much when I was younger -

not really sure as to why but maybe I felt it be exciting and refreshing

as I grew up in a house full of girls. Looking back, a lot of women

at my age then also wanted sons, and having boys were "cool".

At my mature (!) age of 37, I find lots of

friends and collegues that prefers daughters so I keep wondering if

it is an age thing? That many of us want sons when we are younger

and daughters as we get older...anyone have an opinion about this

Portia West:

it is an age thing? That many of us want sons when we are younger

and daughters as we get older...anyone have an opinion about this

ITA!! i have noticed this as well!! i'm not sure but maybe like you said it is an age thing! i'd like to hear what others think about this too

I am a mature mom(34 approaching 35) too! For this pregnancy I want a son, however, as I already have a girl. If I were to have only one child, I would choose girl, definitely. 

"Top 5 List of What women/men need when they are older(approaching middle age)" in my country...I will translate...it's a joke but got a good point.

*Men : wife, his better half, his children's mother, honey, spouse

*Women: daughter, a woman friend, health, a nice house(ownership, not a rent), a lot of money. - two things not essential : son, husband.

I recently found my mom's long lost friend from her student days in U.S...we haven't seen Auntie L since our last family visit to LA in 1987 so it's been 22 yrs. Auntie L had been married twice to men when we knew her and has since turned a lesbian(age 72) living with a partner....I personally think the relation may not be really sexual at that age; as we grow older we need girlfriends to share our opinions, sisterhood, and hobbies. I hope to have that with my daughter - my flesh and blood- as well as with my friends. Hopefully when she grows up she will accompany me on a New York museum trip, shoppings, many operas, orchestra gala dinners which my husband finds waste of money and time

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Catalina:

 

*Women: daughter, a woman friend, health, a nice house(ownership, not a rent), a lot of money. - two things not essential : son, husband.

 

?? I think I can speak for myself when I say my husband and my sons are by no means "not essential"

 

 

Yes I do feel my feelings have changed with age, when I was younger I didn't think about having a daughter just my sons at the time and now I find myself longing for a daughter and maybe that's because I've had 4 boys already, but you make a valid point.

Catalina - thanks for stating your opinion

I do think that there can be something with mature age that makes us want daughters

like in wanting to share/bond over typical female things, and that we may focus on that more

when we are older. As a young woman, I was always so "girly" and female myself so there

was no room for anyone else like that in my life LOL Even to this day I enjoy to be "queen bee"  

But when it comes to what we need later in life I would say that a partner still

ranks quite high on the scale (at least it does for me) - daughters or sons - we cant rely on them to be our

"bestbuddies" or shopping/travel - partners as adults, as they will soon have a life of their own. 

I do hope that you get to have your son though (sending you all my blue baby dust) 

Catalina:

as we grow older we need girlfriends to share our opinions, sisterhood, and hobbies. I hope to have that with my daughter - 

I would have to say that for me it was the complete opposite LOL

I absolutely craved female friends and sisterhood when I lacked my own family (hubbie & children)

and now as an older woman, I get lot of close bonds in other ways than with female friends.

Ok, maybe I do lack someone to share my hobbies with, but as it is know I dont have that much time for hobbies  

LOL well that statement is not mine but just a black humor that circulates in my society(which is not as egalitarian as western nations, I must admit; there is still predominantly son-preference)  just like Canadian jokes(I noticed American sitcoms and South Park cartoons always make fun of Canada) you do in States...pun intended...so plz don't take them personal or take them seriously!

I told you I am praying for a son. Why would I crave a son and stay married if I really took it word by word. I think I  am crazier about my DH of 7 yrs than he's about me!

I know my mom's lost without my dad. Yup, she needs him a lot more than she needs me or my sis!

But it is also true that my maternal grandpa had lived miserably(not financially but emotionally) for the last 3 years of his life as a widower;  my paternal grandma has lived happily even after my grandpa died about 50 yrs ago(never married again)..she had no time to be unhappy with all her 8 kids around her, that's what she says...

BTW Thank you very much for the blue dust! And for pointing out this phenomenon to ponder about...

(As an oversease foreigner, my English is not perfect)

Catalina:

(As an oversease foreigner, my English is not perfect)

we are in the same boat then, as I am a "foreigner" too

coming from Sweden! And no offense about that statement of what

middleaged men & women need. I did not take it too seriously

I wanted 2 boys and 2 girls...I am young 23 to be exact!

I'm 37 and many of my friends are the same age and TTC now and mostly wanting girls.  I think that mature mums may hold on to the old stereotypes ie boys are more active etc and may feel having a girl takes less energy??!  That's pretty much the reasoning I've heard.  Who knows?

When DH and I first started thinking about having children (age 23-25 for me), all I could think about was having a girl.  I ended up with 2 DSs.  We contemplated trying again for a girl but decided against it for fear of having another boy.  Then at 39 (I just turned 40) I was surprisedly pregnant again.  I wanted a girl so bad.  Unfortunately, I will be having my 3rd DS.  My desire for a girl will never go away.  I love my boys so much but I never wanted boys, only girls. 

Definitely not true for me. I've always wanted only girls. I'm 36 and still just wanted girls and was crushed that this baby's a boy.

I'm a mature mama . I think when I grew up boys were the prefered gender . Period.  My mother said if you didn't have a son for your husband you were a failure. A girl was OK as long as you had a son.

I grew up knowing my brother and every other male was more valued , so did all my friends.

SO when it was my turn to have kids I just felt having a boy was more important. Plus I wanted to please my husband and my parents who clearly wanted a boy.

I loved having a son so much that I wanted another but also felt number two should be a girl . SO hence my GD. I felt like a failed to have the perfect family.

But never did I buy into the girl would grow up to be my best friend stuff that I hear on here. DOes that really happen? I never saw it in any of my friends mother / daughter relationships. I guess it does sometimes. I guess now after thirty something years I have a good relationship with my mom.

I think the girls on IG are much younger and the times have changed to valuing girls more.

When I was younger I wanted boys, maybe because I was in the middle of 2 of my sisters and had 4 older brothers 1 that I did everything with.  With ds3 was when I started wanting a girl, I'm only 32 (that's not considered "mature" age yet right??? lol)

While I am not a mature mom yet at 27 my longing for a girl has gotten much worse then when I was younger. When I was 22 and pregnant with my first I didnt have too much of a preference really but kind of was hoping more for a boy. I was thrilled when I found out I was having a son. Now though with my 2nd and last pregnancy I want a girl so badly that it hurts thinking it is probably a boy. I will just be so sad to spend the rest of my life without a daughter and thats probably what is going to happen.