Does my 3 year old have anger problems?

 I have 2 DS and no brothers so my DS 1 pretty much established the "norm" for how boys should be.  My DS 2 is SOOO different, I'm wondering if he's normal.  

Of course he's got energy, like all boys.  But he's not near as affectionate (unless he's REAL sleepy or sick) and he's just got so much physical tension.. or anger.  Idk, his way of playing and interacting is to clench his fists, grit his teeth and make loud sounds like he can't contain himself.  He often hits us and when he realizes it's hurt us for real, he looks really shocked and says sorry over and over.  I don't think he means to hurt us but he doesn't know what to do with himself he just gets physical all the time.  He's so rough, I almost always have some sort of bruise on me and it's hard to really relax around him. 

I'm just worried.  My DH adopted him and loves him like his own and he gets enough attention to make my ds 1 jealous.  I'm just worried that my 3 year old has anger issues like his bio dad.  His bio dad either has borderline personality disorder (similar to bi-polar), schizophrenia, or he's been permanetly damaged from ecstacy (trust me, this guy seemed normal).  He's in prison now for kidnapping another woman with a deadly weapon and he didn't know how to deal with his stress, fear and anger.  It's hard NOT to worry and make connections between his behavior and my sons.  

Does this sound like normal behaviors for a 3 year old boy?  He's very funny, silly and always wants to entertain.  Huge personality and we love him to pieces but that child wears out everyone pretty fast. He's always been louder, rougher and more determined than my first so who knows.. maybe my first is just more chill despite being diagnosed with ADD! 

Thanks for reading.

 

 I'm curious to hear what other people have to say about your ds...we deal with aggression issues here, too, and as my boys get older I sometimes get worried that it's not just 'normal' boy aggression.  Part of the problem here is that they're identical twin boys, so they have had to compete with each other for EVERYTHING since the day they were conceived. 

They are only aggressive with each other, but are REALLY aggressive.  Since they turned 2, they just keep finding new ways to hurt each other - biting, scratching, pinching, pulling hair...you name it, they do it.  Sometimes the aggression just comes out of nowhere, like they just have this pent up negative energy they have to release.  If I am close enough to stop the violence before it happens, ds will just stand there baring his teeth and shaking his clawed hands for a minute before calming down. 

Other than these fighting episodes, they're lovely little boys - they're super smart (they started reading before they turned 2 and now read at a grade 3 level or above), generally well behaved in public, like to sing and dance, and can surprise me with their politeness at times. 

Since I'm a SAHM they've never really spent lots of time with anyone but me.  Now that they're in preschool 2 mornings a week I'm curious to hear their teacher's assessment of their behaviour - I figure only a non-family-member would be objective enough to tell me the truth if they think there might be a behavioural problem.

My first son gets that way sometimes - almost like he can't contain himself.  He is rough sometimes too but I know he doesn't mean to hurt people.  He's also one of the most loving and caring kids - his teacher tells me he's always concerned about his friends at school.  Like you said, he's also very funny and silly and a little ham.  He's very attention-seeking.  I'm beginning to wonder if he could have some form of ADHD.

Your guy is still so little, so maybe just keep an eye and hopefully he'll calm down by the time he's 5 or so.  I'm hoping my sweet little guy will do the same.

 Yes, I'll keep an eye on it and I don't mean to worry, but he's already got a lot of little chips in his front teeth from gritting them so often, I'm worried his little teeth will be gone before he gets new ones!  ha ha.  Yes, a ham for sure and I guess he loves attention of all kinds... hopefully this just means he'll be an entertainer and not someone who has to attend anger management classes!

sounds like my three year old"The trying 3's" he is a great lil' man but like dad and mom did at his age has a bad temper sometimes and throws fits....it could be from a stresser like tired,feeling left out,sick or scared that starts the issues. I doubt its anger problems,this is one of those phases. I give him quiet time on his bed and I have a talk with him when he starts his fits.