Extreme gender disappointment

 Wanted a girl, expected a girl, found out today a boy. I already have three girls don't want a boy and dont' feel love for him. Actually now I feel total detachment from the baby. His kicks are annoying me and all I want his him out, and him not to exist. I looked up late term abortion and of course I can't do it, I'm not the person who can, it would hurt my family and my children that I have. I hate feeling this way and don't understand why I feel this way and why I don't want this baby anymore. The thought of him makes me literally and physically sick. I don't know what to do, I feel helpless. Why am I not feeling the joy I have always felt. Why not just normal feelings. Its so sad. I don't know what to do. 

(((hugs)))  I understand how you feel.  It feels like a death.  What I did was hold my own private little funeral for the baby that wasn't meant to be.  Sure he really didn't exist but he did to ME.  I wrote to him, and made a memory box.  Then I burned it all and planted a tree in honer of my dream.  Then if you can, try to accept the baby that is here.  I couldn't do it, but maybe you can?  also get counseling.  I should have

 It does feel like death, why? so did you have your baby? Do you feel a connection to it? and then you get angrier with yourself for not feeling the way your supposed to feel. 

I think she means it feels like a death has happened. For a lot of people, the death of their dream feels nearly or as bad as a real death. Make sense?

 Yes it does

I just honestly cannot understand it. I would LOOOVE a little girl, but the only thing I WANT, is a healthy baby. I pray to God everynight for a healthy strong baby, that's the only thing I could ever ask for. It's wonderful that you're honest about his, and I applaud you for that and for trying to fix this now, I just want you to understand where I come from too.. I hope that you can fix what is bothering you, and that you can learn to accept your child.

 Yes we all do, we all hope this passes...but right now I want it to go away, I don't want it in my body my home. 

I wasn't trying to be judgemental, honestly. I am just absolutely stunned... I love every bit of my baby. So much. I wish you and your family the VERY best. I will pray for all of you, and for you especially I hope that everything works out for you.

I don't want to be judgmental or anything, but I guess once it's out, you will feel an immediate love for him...it would be nice to have boy for a change. Believe me, as a woman from all-girls family, I sometimes wished as a child I had a brother too. Your girls would learn to love him.

 In my family we had 3 girls and 1 boy, I love my brother but I do not like him. He was and is nothing but a terror and a horrible mommas boy who has been in an out of trouble his entire life. I do not have a male in my life who has not been a dissapointment. I pretty much despise them only I never knew how much and I had to feel the terror of growing one in my body. The problem is I don't even want to feel love for a little boy, I hate changing them and most certainly can't stand their little parts or the idea his stupid circumsizing. I would without a doubt give him away for adoption but I have to worry about facing my family. I can only hope my feelings change bcz it is not fair in the slightest for this child to be raised by someone that cares no more for him than as if he were the child next door. It would be horrilbe to not feel loved by your mother. 

Can I suggest getting therapy, I think most of the things you are feeling now and deep rooted past issues/emotions. I think all you are feeling can be worked through. I wish I had the right words to say, I hope you find peace and love for your new baby ((HUGS))

I understand, I am honestly so proud of you for trying to fix all this. But think of it this way.. I have also been disappointed and harmed by men in my life, my entire life, even to this day! Your son will be an amazing boy, because you are an amazing mother. You have daughters that I can assume are great girls, Your boy will be the same! Just have faith and remember that you're a wonderful mom, and your son will grow up and be respectful and promising!

 Take strength in the fact that this is a chance to change your perception of men.  He is yours and you can make a difference to not have a troublesome child/ adult.  I agree that concelling will help and try adressing the issues you have with men .  

My only question is why you would have more children knowing that there was a possibility of have a boy if you knew that you would feel this way?  I am not asking to be mean but to try and understand.

 Maddi

Well, some males are good too...when I look at my father or my husband I would give anything to have a boy like them. When my grandpa died in his 40s, my parents saved every penny for the next 15 yrs to send his youngest 3 siblings to college.Wouldn't a financially-incompetent mom like my granny love that son? (She's 96 now, and living on my parent's sole support for the last 50 yrs.) Also my hubby, he's the only one making his parents proud career-wise(orthopedic surgeon) and we are the only ones giving his parents monthly allowances. (BTW, my PILs pitched in what we gave them to pay for his sister's trip to Fiji! can you believe it?) Well...to be honest, I would give anything to have an offspring like my dad and my hubby.(or pray for a daughter-in-law like my mom or me, should I say?)

Yes, I agree more boys are rather disappointments too. I have 8 male cousins and I only like two of them. Two of the rest are complete losers too.

Just want to remind everyone of the rules and remember this post, please:

http://www.in-gender.com/cs/forums/t/92451.aspx

Thanks.