i have ruined it for my DH and dont no how to fix it

Please help .....at my 20 week ultrasound i got the doctor to write down the sex as my DH did not want to no.... the head space i was at back then was i had to no, so that i could get my head around two boys and greive the loss of my DD, so when we left the building i looked at the paper and as soon as i got in the car my DH knew i looked and i didnt lie as i was so upset..... now 6 weeks down the track i am looking forward to DS2 ( and still have some doubts he is actually a he as i dont see boys bits on the scan) but will be happy with the outcome any ways and my DH keeps going on how i he didnt want to find out and that i am selfish and that i ruined it for him, even when i say nothing is 100% and that i needed to know for the above reasons. So i am consumed by guilt and i dont no how to fix it with him...... i only regret looking with him around and it was not my intention to ruin his chance of a suprise. I hate that my GD had done this and taken it away from him and me in some ways. WHAT can i do, how can i make it better

DS1 DD M/C DS2 DUE FEB

I know that it must be disappointing for your DH to know but I don't think that his behaviour is really acceptable and I don't think you need to 'fix' anything. What's happened has happened and he needs to look forward and support you. If you have a third child, maybe you could keep the gender a total surprise so this does not happen again. I don't see any point in him having a go at you, especially as you were initially disappointed. I don't think you were selfish at all.

 I wish I could help you and I wish someone could help me. I am pregnant with number 4, I have 3 girls and just wanted another girl today I found out it is a boy. My dissapointment is unreal, its scary and I don't like the way I feel. I'm also dissapointed as to why I don't feel the same towards this boy. I'm so sad. 

I'm so sorry- I know it's hard. At my 20 week US with dd#2- I went by myself and dh didn't want to know the sex.  The tech asked

me if I wanted to know, and she told me 70% girl.  I was kind of in shock because birth calendars, intelligender & different prediction

things said "boy" & dh was convinced she was a he.  I drove around for awhile crying, though I should've been overjoyed when the tech

said everything looked healthy so far.  When I got home, I was still a little upset  and blurted right away, "Well it looks like we're going to

have to deal with another teenage girl in about 13 years."  DH didn't talk to me for the rest of the day, and I found myself consoling him,

which strangely made me feel better.  So, my long-winded point is to be so sweet & consoling to your dh, and then point out all of

the positives about boys, and you will find yourself feeling better as he does too! Hope it helps in some way... Good luck, god bless & take

care!!!

hoping for anothergirl:

I know that it must be disappointing for your DH to know but I don't think that his behaviour is really acceptable and I don't think you need to 'fix' anything. What's happened has happened and he needs to look forward and support you. If you have a third child, maybe you could keep the gender a total surprise so this does not happen again. I don't see any point in him having a go at you, especially as you were initially disappointed. I don't think you were selfish at all.

i agree with this. What's done is done. There are no do-overs. All you can do is say "I am really really sorry, please forgive me so that we can move on" The rest is up to him.

Eden:

hoping for anothergirl:

I know that it must be disappointing for your DH to know but I don't think that his behaviour is really acceptable and I don't think you need to 'fix' anything. What's happened has happened and he needs to look forward and support you. If you have a third child, maybe you could keep the gender a total surprise so this does not happen again. I don't see any point in him having a go at you, especially as you were initially disappointed. I don't think you were selfish at all.

 

i agree with this. What's done is done. There are no do-overs. All you can do is say "I am really really sorry, please forgive me so that we can move on" The rest is up to him.

I also agree. It's a little weird of him to be sulking. It's hard not to hide your emotions, esp. when you're upset like that.

My husband did that to me at our 18 week.  He found it amusing that we are expecting boy #4... I didn't find it funny at all.  He didn't understand how important it was for me to not know, so I could spare myself this GD, which is in full force right now.  That aside, there is nothing you can do to take it back.  Tell your husband there is no use in bringing it up anymore because you can't change the past, so stop milking my guilt!  Am I still angry with my husband for spilling the beans?  Absolutely.  But he knows that, I don't need to remind him.  Don't feel bad about it anymore.  Get tough with him!

Awww :(

((hugs)) i dont think hes being very fair at all

xxxx