Who has 4 kids and works outside the home? Anyone?

I don't know if it's because DS3 is almost a year old, but I am starting to have *crazy* fantasies of having "1 more..." (crazy for me, that is!)  WTH?!?!  I just look at my little men with their dad (whom they ADORE) and I wonder if we should do it all over again even though infancy/toddlerhood is a pain in the ass!!  Plus, it's probably in my mind with the upcoming holidays.  I LOVE watching "The Family Stone" and seeing a big dysfunctional family 'round the table!  Plus, I look at my DH's grandma (who just turned 92) and I keep thinking how I want all my kids to be there loving on me in my old age.  LOL.  

The thing is though, I can't keep being a SAHM.  I am getting to the end of my rope with that career.  It has never really been for me, but with all of my husband's job changes as well as moving cross-country 2 times in 2 years...  just worked out that way.

I am going back to school full-time next summer for 2 years, then plan on re-entering the work force.  I did work full-time with DS1 and was fine with it.  I'm not the kind of sentimental momma who cries while the kids are in childcare, so I know I would be fine with it.  And I don't think that I will have to do full-time.

But working with 4 has got to be a whole different ball game.

Who's doing it?  Are you losing your mind? 

 Me!

And yes some days I do feel like I am loosing my mind and am so tired. But I only work part-time which is about 20-28 hours a week. I usually just try to go to sleep early the next night or drink lots of coffee Somehow it just works itself out. The way I look at, being a mommy is an exhausting job. Sometimes going out to work is like a break plus you get some adult interaction time. 

I work full time at home. My mom comes and babysits the kids who are not in school during the day and dh watches them at night. I am a hairstlyist (struggling fiction writer LOL that doesn't pay anything)

I am on the list though to become a teacher at one of the colleges (for hairstyling of course) but I am not french and they need a bilingual teacher. I would really like to do this specially when the little girlie is ready for school. I find staying at home depressing (for me) and would really like to be back out there. For someone who has alot of kids (me) I am not a great sahm

dream:

I find staying at home depressing (for me) and would really like to be back out there. For someone who has alot of kids (me) I am not a great sahm

Ahhhhh, refreshing honesty.  Thank you.

I too find it depressing.  I am sure that it does not help that I have no family anywhere near me and really no friends.  When you are military and moving around so much...

The "big" family thing sounds so cool to me...  when the kids are older!  I really love the age that my first grader is at.  6 is awesome!  I struggle with the young ages.  My 3 year-old is absolutely killing me.  Not to wish his life away... but I am ready to be done with this age.  I REALLY look forward to having my grown boys around me and that fun, playful mother/son thing going on.

We have brief moments when my husband and I are like, "Sure, what's another?!?"  LOL.  He's such a great dad.  Seriously, he would be a better SAHD than I am a SAHM.  He does so much in all areas of our life.

But my ass needs to get back to work.  I feel trapped, brain dead and totally bored at home.  My program is 2 years.  The soonest that I could have another would be at age 37.  But then it's starting all over again.  Sigh.  And then trying to work with a baby and 3 other kids.  Yikes. 

Did the baby-bug bite you again? ;-)

You still have time to decide - lots of my friends had their last babies in their early 40:ies,

one woman at my workplace had her second child at the mature age of 44!

What helps a lot if you work parttime is having someone helping you to take the kids

from day-care and home, and making dinner ready in time. That actually makes the day

so much smoother as my hubbie often works late and come home when it is bedtime

for the boys. I think with a little age gap, 4 is very doable in your case. The older boys

can help so much as well. my oldest attends to his brother if I tell him to and he

helps him at mealtimes to do small stuff like cutting up food, fetching things etc.

Just dont ever fall into the "do it all" category - I used to do that i.e working/fixing

/preparing all meals/grocery shopping etc etc, it is not ok - should not be done alone

by anyone; if you both work there has to be some money for a student or retired

"nanny" to help you out. At least we prioritize this, and it has saved my marriage too

 

Well, I only have 3 but I work full time . . .sometimes it's crazy, and sometimes it's not.  I don't think the number of kids makes it that much more complicated--except that there are more things to come up (more practices to get to, more days home with sick kids, etc.).  I don't think it's been much harder working with 3 than 2 . . .  I'd love to hear from more ladies working full time with 4 kids--because I'm starting to think I really do want another.  I think B&B should have one more too

I don't fall into this category in any way, I am a stahm, but also fantasize about going to work to escape. I keep going back and forth between wanting a large family or calling it quits with 2 and moving on to the next chapter of being selfish, getting my body in shape, starting a career,... etc.... but then I worry that in 20 years none of that focusing on me will matter, who will care how perfected my yoga poses are, I don't want to be lonely and love the idea of lots of grown kids and grandkids....

Lilian78:

 I think B&B should have one more too

Tee hee.  So not ready yet.  If at all.  Like I said, gotta do my school first.  Went to a presentation for the program and turns out the job market here SUCKS for that field.  So I may even finish up and not have a job!  I'm thinking full-time wouldn't even be an option anyway, so I'd be doing part-time which is really what I'm interested in anyway.  I live in a very small, kind of poor military town.  Not much going on.  May as well pop out another kid and fit right in with my fellow Catholic and Mormon peeps!  One mom at my son's swim is expecting her 10th!!!  Holy cow!

Cherry Mary:

.... but then I worry that in 20 years none of that focusing on me will matter, who will care how perfected my yoga poses are, I don't want to be lonely and love the idea of lots of grown kids and grandkids....

This exactly!

Plus, I keep scouring over the pages of my hubby's Runner's World magazine and seeing all these FIT and FAB moms with like 6 kids and I think, ok, anything is possible!!

BeebsNBubbs:

I live in a very small, kind of poor military town.  Not much going on.  May as well pop out another kid and fit right in with my fellow Catholic and Mormon peeps!  One mom at my son's swim is expecting her 10th!!! 

LOL to that!

My life is about the same - my career is almost non-existant at a state-owned authority were I get a yearly raise

that equals the inflation, so in my silliest moments I have even thought that myself - may pop out another one

and at least have something fun to look forward to in the years to come 

Now go vote on my new poll in TP!

 I am expecting #4 and I work full time outside of the home. I wouldn't be able to do it if it weren't for DH, he's a SAHD. I personally would go nuts if I were home everyday, so this works for us. We also put the kids in daycare a couple times a week for his sake. We have no family to help us relieve stress, take the kids or anything, so we rely on daycare for some time away. I get really frustrated when I am home, because I work so much and I am tired, but I need to support my family! I am going to take a course this year so I can start working from home, I think it'll be a bit easier.

I am expecting #6 and work 24 hours a week as a maternity assistant. I do 2 12 hour shifts which fit into our lives well. I love my job and get way to depressed staying at home. My job doesn't help with the perpetual broodiness though! My children went to day nursery from 6 months old and started school at 4 when my il's help out with care.  Daycare prices are ridiculous and I couldn't afford more than 2 places at a time, one of the reasons we have waited to have this baby now the boys are in school. They still have 2 days at playscheme in the holidays and they will continue that whilst I am on maternity leave, they enjoy going and seeing thier friends and it keeps the spaces open for when I return to work.

I really admire the sahm role but its not the role for me. I don't think I could work from home either as I would get distracted to easily xx

I have 4 kids and work full-time.  I am a nurse and work weekend nights, which works out well because DH can watch the kiddies at night and the next day while I sleep!  This works out well for us....because I too was not cut out to be a SAHM (although I really am Monday-Friday).

 I have 4 kids and work full-time. I work from home 3 days and go in the office 2 days... but it doesn't make a difference with childcare to be honest. I still have to take the kids to the sitter's house the days I am at home. I can't work with them at home. 

On the upside though, daycare (at least private daycare) is not so expensive where I live and we've known her (well, my husband grew up with her brothers) all his life anyway. So, we're lucky. Plus, she's just down the road from us. So I can pick the kids up anytime I need to.

My oldest two are in school, so they don't go to the sitter.