Hey guys!!
I'm SOO SOO SOO sorry to have just left and not come back. I seemed to some to have just vanished off the radar. At end of my pregnancy with Isabella It got so bad that I had no feeling what SO ever in my arms from the elbow down. I could not feel my hands. I had to hold my toothbrush with what I considered numbs of hands that were useless to even brush my teeth. I would not have been able to type if I had to. I got my oldest daughter to send a few messages to some loving women who found me on facebook with some info hoping they would bring it back to you guys.
I didnt forget you. I just was in a horrible horrible shape! Since having Bella, I got SERIOUS baby blues. She's my little lifeline though and with her, I have gotten better. Having her around and as much as she looks like my son....its been very heartbreaking. I now just thank the lord that he gave back a little part of my son through her. She does look a LOT like him at this age. Bright blue eyes just like he had.
We have decided to have one more child but we have steered away from the high tech highway. We have come to the conclusion that we can try the diet and supplements on this site, we will do everything as perfect as we can and if we still are gifted with another little girl.....then that is just what our lord intended for us. Mason was our only son. He may end up being our "only" son....and I think Im at a point that I can accept that. I could never bring him back and I think in some sick way that I was wanting my Isabella to be a boy so bad because I thought it would help me to "pick up where I left off with Mason". Thats impossible. My brain was still not thinking as it should. It was still in shock from the loss of my child. It still is....will always be.
We are getting ready for our attempt this month. Vic will be leaving for Iraq once again on December 5th but will be home for the birth of the new baby IF we are successful and become pregnant on the first try (its usually that easy for us but things could work out differently). If not, when he returns, I WILL be 35 and risks will be higher but with the technology today I think it would still be safe for us to try again.
You all may call me silly, but I've timed this try with everything from the chinese calendar (which for me have been right with all my kids) and with the moon....have been on the supplements and diet for two months now. I've tracked my O for the last three months with my monitor.
I only need now to buy the ph test strips...but I'll pop over to the tcc boards for help with those things.
I wanted to show off my Isabella. I've only got recent photos of her on THIS computer (my laptop). I will try to get her newborn pictures on as well as soon as I can.
I want to send big hugs to ALL of you who were there for me and hope you wont hold my AWOL against me. I've just had so much to deal with physically, emotionally and just crap in general. I also dont have time much to get online anymore with a little one around. It's been so long! She turned 6 months old on October 9th. She already has all four front teeth, crawls, sits up on her own since five months....is pulling up on anything and everything she can....eats anything and drinks from a cup. Its like she's skipping the baby stage and heading straight to toddler!
Contrary to what the doctors thought she would weigh at birth (I had only gained 22 pounds at the end of this journey and my sonograms showed her to be very small)....she came quickly into this world after only an hour of labor including the time it took to set up my iv for induction and get me into a bed. I was already at a 5 so it seemed to just progress rapidly. She was 8lbs even and 20in. long. No problems with birth or with her after birth. I have a latex allergy and everything was seen to but one nurse...grr....she used a latex cath on me. I was fine until my epi wore off and I could FEEL again. Lets just say my cath came out before I could even move my legs. My only complaint. Oh and the 5 tornado warnings that had all the babies and newly delivered mothers crowded into the halls where it was hot and awful for 2 hours a day at any given moment during the day. (hospital policy my butt). Thankfully the babies ended up in the nursery but there were LOTS of new moms there when I was and it was awful to have us all herded into hard chairs to sit out the storm in the halls. The private rooms have windows and we had to be away from them. Leave it to me to deliver a baby in the middle of a storm week.
Well, love you guys. I'll be around. Here's my Bells. She's at varying ages in these but none are newborn. The ones of her in the pink bunny suit and the red suit where shes by the grass are the most recent.
