UPDATE: I guess I can't be mad at dh anymore.....SCTRACH THAT I"M EVEN MORE PISSED NOW.......So, I'm freaking pi$$ed off at dh! Would u be?

First off, I would appreciate no lectures or judgments about the fact that I have to take sleeping pills. I struggle with it enough in my own head with the fact that I am preggo but honestly I have NO choice...

Well, long story short after my sons accident and my other sons devastating diagnoses, my marriage took it's toll and I asked him to stay with his family for 2 months. We've since got back together and things are going alot better with pretty much everything except this one issue. I never mentioned on IG before and quietly took a break because I was at my breaking point. I am now in a much greater place with everything life has thrown at me this year thankfully. Any way, before this break I had attempted the Ferber method to get dd to sleep through the night and spent 1 whole long week sleeping on her floor so she wouldn't wake up dh with the baby monitor in our room and it started to work but then she got sick and the only thing that would console her was the bottle. Back to freakin square one. One month later I get the courage to do it again. Oh, by the way at a year she was waking up average 10-15 times with short crying spells and half the time she'd cry for about 30 secs then fall back asleep, the others it was for a bottle. Second attempt, I sleep on the freaking floor again for TWO weeks straight while I was FMLA from my sons diagnoses and it was absolute hell. Still 10-15 times a night but it worked. IT WORKED!!!!

Fast forward to the break. I have been diagnosed with Insomnia, Periodic Limb Movement Disorder, Restless Leg Syndrome, and Sleep Apnea so if I am not twitching, jerking, kicking, suffocating from loss of air and not breathing, I am just plain not able to sleep. It's horrible. So when she wakes up and goes back to sleep I am up 15 freaking times which probably gives me a total of an hour and half of broken sleep on a good night with the way she sleeps. So, Thank God Ferber right? UGGHHH. During this break, dd slept here half the time and there half the time and wouldn't you know it, she's right back to same dammmmmmm crap and it's his fault. I am pissed. I take my sleep pills and they are category C for pregnancy which is as safe as you can get with sleeping pills and I had to take them with all my children and they're all fine as far as no birth defects and no sleep problems. I don't count dd as a sleep problem, it's dh problem. So, now I take my sleeping pills and fall asleep and wouldn't ya know it, the 10-15 times a night crap started tonight and since he started staying with his family and continued when he came home, so I'm up like always and can't sleep because the only way to sleep is medication and of course I can't take medication 10 times a night so I AM PISSED OFF that he is so inconsiderate about this issue and let her fall back into the same pattern. It's seriously killing me. I have had many sleep studies and many different opinions and there is no way around the medication and the medication I am on has not come up with an extended release yet, not that it would matter. Would you be pissed off? Or and am I just being a tired, grumpy, pregnant nag?

I am also on a class C medication, I stopped my Lunesta when I got pregnant but the other one I can't stop so no judgement there. I would be upset if I did all that work to get her to sleep in her own bed and he came back re-establishing the old pattern. Maybe he should be the sleepless one trying to get her to sleep. It's going to be even harder now that you have gone back and she will fight even harder against the change. I feel bad for you and hope that you can stand your ground with him and let him know it's time for her to be a big girl.

soulfire76:

Maybe he should be the sleepless one trying to get her to sleep.

My thoughts exactly but I just can't be that mean because since my sons diagnoses I quit my job to be home with him and he is the only one working so I just can't do that to him but obviously he has no problem not caring if I ever sleep again in this lifetime.

soulfire76:

It's going to be even harder now that you have gone back and she will fight even harder against the change. I feel bad for you and hope that you can stand your ground with him and let him know it's time for her to be a big girl.

I know and I am scared as hell to do it again but I have to. Ugh this time I'll probably be on the floor for 3 weeks and the floor freaking hurts. Adding in now that I am pregnant, well that should be real comfy! Not to mention the fact that I am already starting to get into the first trimester comatose. It's a huge difference between normal tired and pg tired and that was one of my first symptoms. I think it started at the moment of implantation. No joke.

So, I wrote this on wake up call number one which was 1 hr after taking my sleep medication and half an hour after falling asleep so I felt like I had been run over by a car because the medication was still in my system.......

Now, I am on wake up call #4 and it's been 3 hours since I fell asleep originally. Now I feel like I have been run over by an 18-wheeler....

 

 You poor thing!  I think you have every right to be pissed off.  My second daughter was a crap sleeper too and I ended up with all sorts of emotional issues because of it.  I can understand your deperate need for sleep.  As hard as it is to do you will just have to try to get her to sleep through agian by yourself.  You cant expect someone who is sleeping to understand what you are going through and the sooner she sleeps better so can you. You dont want your sleep deprivation to affect the whole family any longer than it needs too.

 

Good luck and I hope you get some sweet ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

 

Maddi

If it were my dh I would be! well he would know all your probs with sleeping and everything else. I know to well about sleep apnea, I have it aswell, it is horible and the sleep you do manage to get is not quality sleep. I was told by my dr if I couldn't get 10 hours of  sleep at night to have a daytime nap! easy for him to say with two kids running around and school and things. My sleep apnea has caused my heart beat to race although the cardiologist thinks this is ok. does yours? Have you concidered one of those sleep air machine things? they are suppost to help alot with the quality of sleep that you get. I think they are cpap os something I am not sure now what they are called ! My friends think it is so funny when I cant even talk straight because iv had no sleep telling the kids to go get ready for school when it bed time! The latest problem I have had is that I am getting tierd blurry eyes all the time not good when driving! Sorry thought I would vent a lil with some one who knows how it feels . I hope your pg hormones kick in and you get a good sleep soon.

Sweet dreams.

Ariel:

If it were my dh I would be! well he would know all your probs with sleeping and everything else. I know to well about sleep apnea, I have it aswell, it is horible and the sleep you do manage to get is not quality sleep. I was told by my dr if I couldn't get 10 hours of  sleep at night to have a daytime nap! easy for him to say with two kids running around and school and things. My sleep apnea has caused my heart beat to race although the cardiologist thinks this is ok. does yours? Have you concidered one of those sleep air machine things? they are suppost to help alot with the quality of sleep that you get. I think they are cpap os something I am not sure now what they are called ! My friends think it is so funny when I cant even talk straight because iv had no sleep telling the kids to go get ready for school when it bed time! The latest problem I have had is that I am getting tierd blurry eyes all the time not good when driving! Sorry thought I would vent a lil with some one who knows how it feels . I hope your pg hormones kick in and you get a good sleep soon.

Sweet dreams.

Oh yeah tried the cpap thing and it woke me up all night. How they expect you to be able to sleep with a helmet on your head and two pillows up your nose which are nothing more than nose plugs that fall out constantly is beyond me. I wake up and I eyes are blood shot red, they burn, I have blurred vision, and they're dry as hell because if I do manage to sleep I am so tire I sleep with my eyes partially open causing them to dry out so bad that twice I have had my eyelids stick to my eyeball ripping the top layers of my eyeball off. I had to to drive to my eye doc because I was in so much pain and was literally blind luckily it was only a block away or I wouldn't have attempted it. I had severe light sensitivity since the layers of my eyeballs were ripped of so I had to cover one eye, squint with the other and try to move away from the blobs(cars) as much as possible to get there. Luckily it's at target and I could make out the big the red sign. He gave me numbing drops and they saved my life. It was like it never happened but I had to keep using them until the pain subsided. He said my eye looked like if I had gotten stabbed with a stick in my eye and it ripped chunks out that's how bad it gets so yeah I know all about that. Oh and the delirious. Let me tell ya half the time I don't know which kid is which and where they are suppose to be because my brain can't function. Sucks but it is kind of nice to know I am not alone in this nightmare but it sucks you are too!

So grand total last night was pretty low, only 8 times. I'm even more mad at dh. Since I am not working he chooses to work overtime on Saturdays for 5 hours which helps alot, so last night he goes to bed around 9 because he has to be there by 5 a.m., so after one of my wake up calls I laid back down and heard his alarm going off which he usually lets go off twice. I fell back asleep and woke up again at 630 for another wake up call and realized he hadn't kissed me goodbye. He didn't freaking go to work and his lead told him if he didn't go today he would not have the opportunity anymore because he missed the last 2 weekend due to drinking too much beer and staying up late with his family! So, not only did I suffer all night alone with a baby that never lets me sleep, but he no longer will be able to get overtime. Oh and he's still FREAKING SLEEPING!!!!

FourCutiesOneLove:

Oh and he's still FREAKING SLEEPING!!!!

 

There's your problem.  When you're woken up, you need to turn on some lights and make enough noise to make it his problem as well.  Every. single. time.   Until it's his problem he's obviously not going to care.

cat:

FourCutiesOneLove:

Oh and he's still FREAKING SLEEPING!!!!

 

There's your problem.  When you're woken up, you need to turn on some lights and make enough noise to make it his problem as well.  Every. single. time.   Until it's his problem he's obviously not going to care.

OMG that had me cracking up! That was my exact thought. During my anger last night I decided no more bottle. They say months and start weaning well she's 14.5 and only has one bottle in the day time and the rest at night so the bottle is gone I have them all in a box ready to be packed up away for the next baby. I don't want dh to know I packed them, I am going to tell him they're gone in todays trash pickup! This should be a wonderful fight. She already drinks from a sippy but I don't have many so I am going to buy some today but I hate those things they say "no drip", but I say, "my ass". Anyone have any good brand suggestions? Oh and as for night time, back to cold turkey. Nothing and Ferber! She eats food like crazy and is attempting to use utensils so it's time. I think it'll be harder to get dh not to have a panic attack then it will be to get her back on track but IDK. He is still freaking sleeping. I'm just gonna let him sleep until the end of time so when he wakes up he'll feel like crap and have no argument. And if he does, well I hope he's comfy sleeping on her floor and gets tons of sleep when he tries to find a bottle and there isn't one left in the house.

Oh hon, you have my sympathies...my DS2 wakes anything from 3-10 times each night and I am just exhausted. So I know how hard it is. I'd be pi**ed at DH too.

Well, he freaking slept until I got out the vacuum and opened his door then sat dd outside the room since she screams every time the vacuum comes on. Hahaha. i wish I could have seen his face! That was one argument that was well worth it. Bottles gone, made him go buy some more sippy cups and about 15 other things on my to do list and he knows he has no choice anymore. He had the right to have an opinion on the matter until he inconsiderately ruined my hard worked efforts TWICE, with no disregard as to how it affected me. Now if he had to suffer for 3 weeks on the floor than maybe I'd hear his opinion, but not this time buddy. It is was it is. Now, I have to take a nap and get ready for the night from hell. Night #1, always the worst, except this time he don't have to work in the morning so the baby monitor will be on all night in our bedroom while attempt the first night of Ferber, round #3. Oh boy am I scared. She's going to fight this so bad but I kind of hope she does for tonight only so he can feel the misery I have felt for the 3 weeks combined Ferber attempts and countless nights of no sleep while he was snoring away. I'm feeling a little evil at this point but with 1.5 hours of broken sleep to run on, IDC at this moment. I should have a pretty interesting update tomorrow. lol

That sucks, I'm sorry he's being such an a$$.

I think you're coping amazingly well, if it were my DH I would probably have made him sleep in his van by now.

expectingnumberfour:

That sucks, I'm sorry he's being such an a$$.

I think you're coping amazingly well, if it were my DH I would probably have made him sleep in his van by now.

OMG

Well, I guess I can't be mad anymore, or atleast for today. Last night dh put her to bed with nothing. I have all the bottles away and I expected him to try to get her to go to bed with a sippy cup, which I wasn't going to let happen but he didn't. I was actually in shock that he took it over in the first place. She cried for an hour and a half and he stood right outside her door the whole time going in every little while to pat her on the back and place her back on her pillow and cover her up and to wind up her music mobile while I finally got to get some homework done. I know it about killed him because thats the whole reason he screws this up for me every time. He can't stand to see her cry and feels horrible and she knows it too. But she finally fell asleep and he slept on her floor all night and he is still in there. He told me to lay down in our room and to shut the door so I wouldn't be woken up by her cries and not be able to fall back asleep. He knows with the the medication I have no problem falling asleep but any time I am woken up it's pretty much over for about 3 hours before I can fall back asleep without medication. I usually have to get on here to tire my eyes out enough to be able to sleep again. I just woke up on my own after a whole 9 hours sleep! I can't believe it. I went in there and asked him how many times she woke up and he said only once! ONLY ONCE! Ahhhhhhh! Maybe now he'll finally believe that i am doing this for her own good and not to be an evil mother. Wow, I'm still kind of in shock about it but really happy he got to feel some of the torture I've had to go through but even better that he got to see that not having a bottle HELPS her sleep not torture her.