Gender Disappointment

Re: Other people's perceptions...

kansasgal — Tue, 12 Jun 2012 05:50:55 GMT

little men X3 & 1 princess:
kansasgal:
so I hd to get a break :) Miss all you girls though!
You are welcome back anytime hun. Congrats on your little man too. He is so adorable and love his name xxx

Awww thank you :) I am soooooo ready for him to be home where he belongs.

Re: Other people's perceptions...

NYFamilyOfFiveRoses — Mon, 11 Jun 2012 02:01:49 GMT

I think like some pps said if the people are itiots to begin with then they say dumb comments about 2 or more of the same gender.

I notice if a women or man is a nice person they do not say dumb comments about my 3 daughters. Right off the bat if I get a dumb comment, I know that they are that type of competative or rude type of person. Or with some it can be because the have 2 or more of the same gender and it bothers them so they have to comment to other people that never got the opposite gender.

I have been home for 2 years and let the GD tear me apart so bad that I stopped going everywhere.

Now I am ready to go out there and deal and have comebacks for the comments.

Last I got "oh 3 girls" and I quickly changed the subject and said "yes sisters".

Or one said the same thing and I said yes they are so close and sisters. I did not even let them get the chance to say something dumb.

Some say like "crazy". Or some say "wow".

It can just mean so many different things.

Some may have a girl and a boy and find that their girl is so hard and then when they find out you have 3 they cannot imagine how you do it. Some may feel that way about their sons.

A simple knod or I do not know answer is good.

Your poor husband- No actually my husband is very happy.

Or say I am so glad you know exactly what my hopes and dreams were.

It depends also if it comes from somebody in the school that you have to see daily.

Re: Other people's perceptions...

wincha123 — Sun, 10 Jun 2012 16:42:32 GMT

Waiting4Daisy:
Yep BettyBoo has got a BFP! So chuffed for her. I read about your little boy, who awful. I hope he gets better soon sweetie, can't imagine how worried you must be. Wincha sorry to hear about your loss after PGD, that must have been very hard. Why don't you print out some of your posts to show your husband?

Thanks Waiting4Daisy. We had a talk and are working on having an open communication so I may take your suggestion and show him some of the posts here so he can see that I am happy now. I did show him some posts in the past but it's hard for him to understand GD, he thinks I'm not grateful for what I have and that he feels like he's not giving me the life that I want. Which is not how I feel at all! But he did say that he sees how much I love our dd3.

Re: Other people's perceptions...

Purple Butterfly — Sun, 10 Jun 2012 15:08:40 GMT

kansasgal:
so I hd to get a break :) Miss all you girls though!

You are welcome back anytime hun. Congrats on your little man too. He is so adorable and love his name xxx

Re: Other people's perceptions...

wildwooddays — Sun, 10 Jun 2012 14:03:40 GMT

wincha123:
To be honest, that is one reason why I don't want a fourth because I feel like if this fourth is a boy, people would say, "see now you are done" and I would feel like my girls are not special because everyone would assume they were attemtps to have a boy.

That's how I feel with this one. I don't want people to think my DS2 was just an attempt to have a girl because I would have had a third either way. and yeah, it's hard not to care about what other people think. DH is very close to his cousin, and he and his wife recently had a girl after two boys. It's so hard for me to be around them and dh doesn't get it he's like "But you have kids, be happy."

Re: Other people's perceptions...

Photo-Girl — Sun, 10 Jun 2012 13:43:00 GMT

Just wondering - you guys had opened a Facebook group around what subject?

Re: Other people's perceptions...

Never123 — Sun, 10 Jun 2012 09:05:02 GMT

Yep BettyBoo has got a BFP! So chuffed for her. I read about your little boy, who awful. I hope he gets better soon sweetie, can't imagine how worried you must be. Wincha sorry to hear about your loss after PGD, that must have been very hard. Why don't you print out some of your posts to show your husband?

Re: Other people's perceptions...

kansasgal — Sat, 09 Jun 2012 22:50:20 GMT

I left shortly after the drama with Jolene and all that....not b/c of that though. I was spending too much time on FB in general and that group for sure....so I hd to get a break :) Miss all you girls though! I just saw BettyBoo gt a BFP finally...I need to send her a congrats! Did Vicky (sp) I forget her last nme find out if she was having a girl or boy? I know she had 4 sons already and swayed for a girl. Well I need to find you on FB so we can keep in touch. I had my sweet baby boy 2 weeks early on 5/26.....he's doing better but not home yet, still in NICU. I will send ya a message about it or I talked a little about on a thread..."the end is near" for June due date board forums.

Re: Other people's perceptions...

Never123 — Sat, 09 Jun 2012 16:22:12 GMT

Hiya hun! There were a few issues with the group and Sonya had to close it. Do you have facebook? I just came back here looking for you to congratulate you on your new little boy. I'm sure he is just an absolute dream xxx

Re: Other people's perceptions...

wincha123 — Sat, 09 Jun 2012 01:39:27 GMT

Photo-Girl:
wincha123:

Photo-Girl:
wincha123:

Last night, my husband told me that my GD does get to him and that things did change in terms of our marriage after we did pgd/high tech and loss the baby. I wish he could see how far I've gone and the posts I've made here and how grateful I feel for the family I have.

Sorry for being nosy, but as someone who is one the fence about HT, may I ask more details about your experience? How did it change your marriage (strain)? How did you lose the baby (miscarriage)? How many cycles did you do? Do you regret trying HT? Sorry for all the questions - answer only what you're comfortable answering. And sorry for hijacking the thread momentarily! :-)

We did one cycle because that was all we could afford. Physically was no problem, the shots, retrieval, and transfer were easy and I didn't really feel any different, except I did get bloated. The emotion was the hardest because I didn't get a whole lot of embies to work with and it was nerve wrecking with each monitoring to see my progress. In the end I only had one to put in and I was so happy when I got the bfp but he didn't attach correctly and so I had a subchorionic hematoma (blood clot where the embryo attached) and I was in my 9th week or so when the hematoma got too large and pulled down my baby with it and so I had a miscarriage. I don't regret going HT because I knew the chance I was risking. And at least I've tried. But it's sad to find out last night that my husband didn't want it in the first place and only did it for me because that was what I wanted and now he tells me he just doesn't feel the same about me. I don't know if that's an excuse or if he just can't move on but I feel sad because it's in the past, no matter how great I am now, I still can't go back to change the past. So I don't regret the actual HT, I do regret that I let GD get to me so much in the past that I didn't see that it was causing so much strain on the marriage.

Thanks for sharing. I'll definitely think of your story when I ponder HT in about a year. I'm sorry it caused strain on your marriage and I hope that with time, things get back to a better place with you and DH. Don'T know if it would cause strain on my marriage because DH actually suggested HT - well, at least he wanted to know more about it. But def. not more than one cycle fur us either - if it wasn't meant to be after one cycle, then I'l just have to accept it.

Good luck to you :) I think it is great that your DH suggested HT and wants to know more and that he gets involved. I hope you two will get your dream come true.

Re: Other people's perceptions...

Photo-Girl — Sat, 09 Jun 2012 00:57:22 GMT

wincha123:
Photo-Girl:
wincha123:

Last night, my husband told me that my GD does get to him and that things did change in terms of our marriage after we did pgd/high tech and loss the baby. I wish he could see how far I've gone and the posts I've made here and how grateful I feel for the family I have.

Sorry for being nosy, but as someone who is one the fence about HT, may I ask more details about your experience? How did it change your marriage (strain)? How did you lose the baby (miscarriage)? How many cycles did you do? Do you regret trying HT? Sorry for all the questions - answer only what you're comfortable answering. And sorry for hijacking the thread momentarily! :-)

We did one cycle because that was all we could afford. Physically was no problem, the shots, retrieval, and transfer were easy and I didn't really feel any different, except I did get bloated. The emotion was the hardest because I didn't get a whole lot of embies to work with and it was nerve wrecking with each monitoring to see my progress. In the end I only had one to put in and I was so happy when I got the bfp but he didn't attach correctly and so I had a subchorionic hematoma (blood clot where the embryo attached) and I was in my 9th week or so when the hematoma got too large and pulled down my baby with it and so I had a miscarriage. I don't regret going HT because I knew the chance I was risking. And at least I've tried. But it's sad to find out last night that my husband didn't want it in the first place and only did it for me because that was what I wanted and now he tells me he just doesn't feel the same about me. I don't know if that's an excuse or if he just can't move on but I feel sad because it's in the past, no matter how great I am now, I still can't go back to change the past. So I don't regret the actual HT, I do regret that I let GD get to me so much in the past that I didn't see that it was causing so much strain on the marriage.

Thanks for sharing. I'll definitely think of your story when I ponder HT in about a year. I'm sorry it caused strain on your marriage and I hope that with time, things get back to a better place with you and DH. Don'T know if it would cause strain on my marriage because DH actually suggested HT - well, at least he wanted to know more about it. But def. not more than one cycle fur us either - if it wasn't meant to be after one cycle, then I'l just have to accept it.

Re: Other people's perceptions...

wincha123 — Sat, 09 Jun 2012 00:19:07 GMT

Photo-Girl:
wincha123:

Last night, my husband told me that my GD does get to him and that things did change in terms of our marriage after we did pgd/high tech and loss the baby. I wish he could see how far I've gone and the posts I've made here and how grateful I feel for the family I have.

Sorry for being nosy, but as someone who is one the fence about HT, may I ask more details about your experience? How did it change your marriage (strain)? How did you lose the baby (miscarriage)? How many cycles did you do? Do you regret trying HT? Sorry for all the questions - answer only what you're comfortable answering. And sorry for hijacking the thread momentarily! :-)

We did one cycle because that was all we could afford. Physically was no problem, the shots, retrieval, and transfer were easy and I didn't really feel any different, except I did get bloated. The emotion was the hardest because I didn't get a whole lot of embies to work with and it was nerve wrecking with each monitoring to see my progress. In the end I only had one to put in and I was so happy when I got the bfp but he didn't attach correctly and so I had a subchorionic hematoma (blood clot where the embryo attached) and I was in my 9th week or so when the hematoma got too large and pulled down my baby with it and so I had a miscarriage. I don't regret going HT because I knew the chance I was risking. And at least I've tried. But it's sad to find out last night that my husband didn't want it in the first place and only did it for me because that was what I wanted and now he tells me he just doesn't feel the same about me. I don't know if that's an excuse or if he just can't move on but I feel sad because it's in the past, no matter how great I am now, I still can't go back to change the past. So I don't regret the actual HT, I do regret that I let GD get to me so much in the past that I didn't see that it was causing so much strain on the marriage.

Re: Other people's perceptions...

kansasgal — Sat, 09 Jun 2012 00:14:37 GMT

WaitingforDaisy....welcome back :):) How are you?? Is the FB group still up & running? I have missed you girls!

Re: Other people's perceptions...

Serenity — Fri, 08 Jun 2012 20:12:28 GMT

Yep 3 boys is just as adorable or in my opinion! I just love boys!!

Re: Other people's perceptions...

Never123 — Fri, 08 Jun 2012 19:59:36 GMT

Here I think boys and girls are desired pretty evenly. I think that woman was rude too Serenity, I think any family with 3+ of the same is cute tbh, especially if they are all quite close in age. They are like a wee team or gang!