Gender Disappointment

Re: Why is it that,

JJ89 — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 03:20:13 GMT

MegsW:
velouria:
MegsW:
I don't get why people on here get so angry with those expressing GD? Isn't that what this forum is about, a safe place for people to come on here and not be judged for their feelings?

Fair enough, but, OTOH, don't judge the OP (or ALL the others that have chimed in and agreed with her) either. Just because someone may have both genders, or only one gender that doesn't make THEIR flavor of GD any more valid or real than anyone else's.
Why on earth does IG have to ONLY be a "safe haven" for certain people to come express their feelings and not others??
(besides trolls obviously)
Well I kind of think that this part of the forums on In Gender is Gender Disappointment, so people should feel safe to come on here and express their GD regardless of their reasons or if it is a boy or girl GD. Anyway, I realise that not everywhere is it okay to talk about it, but did think here was a place to come and not be judged, Obviously not

Well this post is not necessarily dealing with GD, at least I don't think. From what I perceive, we had so much boy negativity here that it was really hurting mothers with sons or mothers who would like to have a son. This poster mentioned because she kind of felt sad that no one is happy about their sons or daughers having a brother where as they are so desperate to give their daughter(s) a sister, making it sound like the relationships with their sons is really nothing compared to that of sisters. And it is true to some extend and I have seen this happen where ppl with multiple girls and only one boy all want another girl so their daughters can have a sister. What about their son? Is he not allowed to have this as well? It kind of sounds like ppl think important for a girl to have this relationship while for a boy, they don't care if he does not get the same opportunity, which is not kind of fair and is sort of wrong. It makes sound like sisterly relationship is always special as it will end up with their girls being best friends and such (false stereotype) and the rest, whether it is brothers or brother-sister is nothing or is not special at all like a "sister relationship". I mean if that is so, this world should consist of only women, no men and then can we guarantee a sister relationship and everyone will have a sister because it's the only relationship that is "special"

Re: Why is it that,

MegsW — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 03:07:09 GMT

velouria:
MegsW:
I don't get why people on here get so angry with those expressing GD? Isn't that what this forum is about, a safe place for people to come on here and not be judged for their feelings?

Fair enough, but, OTOH, don't judge the OP (or ALL the others that have chimed in and agreed with her) either. Just because someone may have both genders, or only one gender that doesn't make THEIR flavor of GD any more valid or real than anyone else's.
Why on earth does IG have to ONLY be a "safe haven" for certain people to come express their feelings and not others??
(besides trolls obviously)

Well I kind of think that this part of the forums on In Gender is Gender Disappointment, so people should feel safe to come on here and express their GD regardless of their reasons or if it is a boy or girl GD. Anyway, I realise that not everywhere is it okay to talk about it, but did think here was a place to come and not be judged, Obviously not

Re: Why is it that,

Mary and Jane — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 17:50:17 GMT

The one thing that helped me when I had GD after the U/S was thinking that my son would get a brother and how wonderful that is. I grew up with only brothers, and always longed for a sister.

Now I can give my son a sibling of the same gender. I think it is great.

Re: Why is it that,

velouria — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 16:15:15 GMT

MegsW:
I don't get why people on here get so angry with those expressing GD? Isn't that what this forum is about, a safe place for people to come on here and not be judged for their feelings?

Fair enough, but, OTOH, don't judge the OP (or ALL the others that have chimed in and agreed with her) either. Just because someone may have both genders, or only one gender that doesn't make THEIR flavor of GD any more valid or real than anyone else's.

Why on earth does IG have to ONLY be a "safe haven" for certain people to come express their feelings and not others??

(besides trolls obviously)

Re: Why is it that,

MegsW — Sat, 10 Mar 2012 01:35:22 GMT

I don't get why people on here get so angry with those expressing GD? Isn't that what this forum is about, a safe place for people to come on here and not be judged for their feelings? Maybe in their mind it was that ideal of having two girls to play together, maybe not - but they are THEIR feelings. I am mourning the girl I won't have because I wanted to experience the pink stuff again, the prettiness, the dolls, the gorgeous sewing I could do. Yes a girl might not be a girly girl, but I am mourning the opportunity that I won't get a chance to do it at all! I don't really care why people have GD - for them it is real, whatever the reason. If you don't feel that THEIR reasons for THEIR GD is good enough - move on! You may as well be in here slamming everyone for being on these boards then, because GD is GD whatever the reason.

Re: Why is it that,

wounded_healer. — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 23:18:08 GMT

I wanted a brother for my oldest son when I unexpectedly fell preggo with my 2nd son...I wished now I could give my DD a sister but to me my health is more important then her having a sister! My acquaintance was trying to give her oldest daughter a sister after 3 boys and she had a uterine rupture and a micro-preemie which died a week after her birth!

Re: Why is it that,

princessamongprinces — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 22:20:50 GMT

Well, for me, it was because it's what I KNEW. I don't know what it's like to be a boy with a brother. I grew up with sisters. We always had such a strong bond and are best friends to this day. I have a brother, too and I love him dearly, but don't have that kind of relationship with him. Plus there's the fact that he's 9 years younger than me. I don't have a daughter, but I wanted 2 girls so that they could be sisters. I KNOW how great the sisterly bond is, but had no clue about boys needing a brother. That said, I am glad that my boys have each other.

Re: Why is it that,

SAHM — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 02:19:35 GMT

Tiffany - you are right. I was so obsessed about NOT having a girl that I never thought that my son will get a brother. Now that my DS#2 is here - I see that side of things. When pregnant and thinking that I only wanted a girl - well that is ALL I thought about - I WANT A GIRL. Not that I want a sibling for my son. Truth be told - if I had a girl first I would have stopped at one. Terrible to say since I had a second baby who just so happens to be a boy - but it is my truth.

Re: Why is it that,

wildwooddays — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 01:29:56 GMT

velouria:
tiffany12345:
no one on this forum ever writes about giving their son a brother, BUT only giving their daughter a sister.....what makes the sister bond so much more precious than the brother bond?

Because they're full of it. They're REALLY saying what THEY want. THEY want another girl but they think it sounds less selfish if they say they want to "give DD a sister" for whatever lame made up reason. Because we ALL know the sisterly bond is WAY more special than the brotherly bond right??

Re: Why is it that,

wildwooddays — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 01:21:45 GMT

i may be the exception, but I have always wanted two boys and a girl. If I had one of each right now, I'd be rooting for a boy so I could have two of them. I never wanted more than one daughter.

Re: Why is it that,

kowkea — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 22:54:34 GMT

That was not true for me! I really wanted my second to be a boy so my first could have the brotherly bond that my husband and his brother have. I have 2 sisters so I always felt whatever I had first I wanted my second to be the same gender. They are 3 years apart and love to be together. I am now pregnant with my 3rd and it is a girl...now I feel like she will need a sister. I think siblings can have a great bond no matter what their gender though and she is lucky to have such amazing big brothers that are sweet and caring. I adore my boys and have so much fun with them. Just thought I would share since I really wanted to give my first son a brother. I hope this makes you happy and I don't think a sister bond is better then a brother bond!

Re: Why is it that,

JJ89 — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 21:42:43 GMT

velouria:
newbaby2011:
gender disappointment is about what YOU want not about what your family needs.

Well said. It gives a reality check. Of course we can dream how our families can be like, but we can't beat reality and live in a fantasy dream land because when reality kicks in, it is oh so different than what one would expect. Let's face it. Life is going to be tough no matter what. I'm actually going through a phase like that right now. And yes we will not get what we always want, so either we'll have to learn to adapt and accept, or be sulky forever.

Forgot to mention in a earlier post. I can completely understand one wanting to give their a daughter a sister if they have already multiple boys as they sort of want a balance or so that they won't be left out entirely (again it really depends on the relationship). But people who have only one son and multiple girls that still want another girl..I can't get.

Re: Why is it that,

Cupcake_Dreamz — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 20:46:50 GMT

My dream family was 2 boys & 1 girl. (Regarless of the order) Growing up there were times that I wished for a sister but the truth is that I secretly loved being the Princess. As the only girl, I always got special treatment from my mom & brothers....even as adults! I'm very close to my brothers and know that if I had a sister it wouldve been so different. Believe me when I tell you, my brothers adore me. Luckily, I'm blessed with amazing friends so we did all the girly stuff together. Best of both worlds. =)

I wanted the same, if I ever had a daughter. I wanted her to be the little princess who was protected by her brothers. Unfortunately, I didnt get my princess but the good news is that I keep my throne as Queen of my household! I'm destined to be surrounded by men to spoil me.

Re: Why is it that,

velouria — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 20:42:16 GMT

newbaby2011:
gender disappointment is about what YOU want not about what your family needs.

Re: Why is it that,

velouria — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 20:41:11 GMT

tiffany12345:
no one on this forum ever writes about giving their son a brother, BUT only giving their daughter a sister.....what makes the sister bond so much more precious than the brother bond?

Because they're full of it. They're REALLY saying what THEY want. THEY want another girl but they think it sounds less selfish if they say they want to "give DD a sister" for whatever lame made up reason. Because we ALL know the sisterly bond is WAY more special than the brotherly bond right??