Gender Disappointment

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

wincha123 — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 03:12:15 GMT

Same here regarding the fb status and being super excited about it. People responded accordingly. :) But so far, my mama bear part is what I need to work on, I can't seem to be rude even to rude people unless they REALLY piss me off.

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

Halah — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 00:45:53 GMT

It was easier for me to announce on FB than in person. I really played up our excitement and people responded in kind. I know many would have been way more over the top excited for me if I had a girl but I still got a lot of positive comments. If people had been rude I would have had no problem calling them out for it. I am a mama bear and no one would get away with saying a negative word about one of my kids.

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

stickybeans — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 14:35:26 GMT

I didn't even announce my last pregnancy on Facebook book until I double checked gender (21w). And put up a 3D picture of her and all I said was sugar and spice and everything nice. If it was a boy I wouldn't have announced until birth.

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

islandmeadow — Wed, 14 Mar 2012 06:36:56 GMT

ITA with all of this! It is ridiculous. I have a fb friend who recently announced her third pregnancy (she has two boys). Literally, half the people were even referring to this unborn baby as 'she' even though gender is not at all determined (she just found out!). Also, lots of, 'praying it's a girl!' Seriously???? Wow. When I do announce my third pregnancy, (if I'm lucky enough to get pg) I will HAVE to say something if anybody happens to be stupid enough to make a comment like that.

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

Liv_J — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 20:45:52 GMT

I've not been on here in a while, but I'm happy to say that my friend is doing MUCH better now! After the hurt and anger wore off, she posted a status on facebook about how she couldn't understand how people could look at her perfect son and think that she would be so disappointed in being blessed with another one. She did it with grace and without being nasty to the people who had commented those things and I'm sure it really made them think about what they had written. She already has his nursery done and has named him.

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

Photo-Girl — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 16:08:27 GMT

saggyrl11:
Facebook It causes so many people needless pain! I have an account but spend very little time on there- a while ago I noticed it did cause GD and I also noticed how much happier I seemed when off! Some advice- really limit the time you spend on there. Also- "hide" people from your news feed who you think may post things that will hurt you or trigger GD. Show off your kids, brag about them, let everyone know how happy you are and *dare* them to stomp on your happiness! I do think some people feed off of negative energy and when they sense others' disappointment they will stomp on them.

Yup, ITA with that. I've started to "hide" quite a few people on FB myself. It is addictive tho and enables me to stay in contact with some people I really care about, so I find it hard to limit my time on there. I am making efforts tho.

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

Photo-Girl — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 16:06:29 GMT

Nickajax#3:
I remember being three years old and I was playing with a toy stove and already thinking that I couldn't wait to have a baby girl so she could play with toys like this. So wanting a baby girl has been in me forever and wasn't caused by any outside influences.

Same here, but outside influences make it worse and to a degree, represent the larger part of my GD.

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

Nickajax#3 — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 07:15:31 GMT

I just wanted to say that for me GD wasn't caused by society.

I remember being three years old and I was playing with a toy stove and already thinking that I couldn't wait to have a baby girl so she could play with toys like this. So wanting a baby girl has been in me forever and wasn't caused by any outside influences.

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

somerlouise — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 10:18:44 GMT

Facebook in general bugs me- the number of smug people on there is amazing.

The worst I heard was when a friend and his wife were pregnant with twins. She got pre-eclamsia and the twin boys were born at 30 weeks, they were both tiny (under 2 pounds each) and had a number of medical problems. Their survival was by no means assured. And some idiot left a post saying 'Congrats, I hope you are going to try again for a girl.' I was horrified- these babies are a gift and that was the best this person could say? Made me realize just how stupid and insensitive some people are.

Luckily the boys are doing well now, they are nearly a year, adored by their parents and are mostly where they should be developmentally, which matters most to any sane person rather than what is or isn't between their legs.

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

Mrs Blue — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 08:21:58 GMT

yep GD is stemed from the society, family and more.

I was fine with the 4 boys I had then I wanted to bless the family with more babies, so DH and I tried for anotehr, it was a boy..and omg the topics came,and that hurt..so DH and I decided to try for a girl, no swaying that time..and we were told everything under the sun, if its a girl what will you do, if its another boy omg im sorry..etc..so I got told its a boy and I swore I jumped off the table and cried but I didnt, my heart did. only cus I felt like I failed.We said ok we are done, expectations are to high its expensive etc..but my GD got the better of me and my reaserch of swaying got the better of DH and I and we agreed to try again. Swaying, timing and more. Ugh.. got told another boya nd omg i feared the negative stuff..I have heard a few already, BUT so far none that has hurt me. I feel I failed my DH but thats it. we have 7 boys to be.

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

Havebluwantp1nktoo — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 03:24:11 GMT

Facebook It causes so many people needless pain! I have an account but spend very little time on there- a while ago I noticed it did cause GD and I also noticed how much happier I seemed when off! Some advice- really limit the time you spend on there. Also- "hide" people from your news feed who you think may post things that will hurt you or trigger GD. Show off your kids, brag about them, let everyone know how happy you are and *dare* them to stomp on your happiness! I do think some people feed off of negative energy and when they sense others' disappointment they will stomp on them.

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

Photo-Girl — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 02:40:08 GMT

buttercup14:
"I hope I never have a boy" "I'm scared to have another, what if it's a boy?!?" and I don't even know what to say to them because I look over and there is MY sweet boy playing and I'm appauled that people can be soo dumb.

Well, I wouldn't call those people friends then. I actually have a former friend who said similar things to me and I'm really considering cutting her off for good. Not only is it a terrible thing to say, but to say it to moms of boys is just appauling.

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

housefullofchicks — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 00:34:26 GMT

Pretty much everyone my husband told had a variation on the comment "You must be so disappointed not to have a son. Are you going to keep trying?" No one said anything like that to me, thank goodness, but his feelings were really hurt by those comments.

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

buttercup14 — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 06:59:15 GMT

I'm sorry your friend is going through this. I was telling DH awhile ago that this is the main reason that I'm "worried" baby #2 will be a boy. I know that when I announce on facebook there will be so many rude comments and judgements if it's another boy. Naturally, I'm hoping for a girl since I already have a boy but if it's another boy, I will be happy just the same! I can think of a few specific people that would say something annoying about it and I just wouldn't want to hear it. I have actually had friends that have daughters only say things to me like "I hope I never have a boy" "I'm scared to have another, what if it's a boy?!?" and I don't even know what to say to them because I look over and there is MY sweet boy playing and I'm appauled that people can be soo dumb.
I hope your friend realizes that they're just dumb people and that most of them probably don't even realize that what they're saying is hurtful.

Re: The crap people do on facebook.. GD related

JJ89 — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 17:37:32 GMT

runnerv711:

I know exactly what you are talking about. A girl I am "friends" with has a 2 y/o boy and just found out she's pregnant with a girl. You'd think she won the lottery! I guess she DID win the gender lottery

When I started telling people I was pregnant, my neighbor who has two little girls was like "OMG, I HOPE it is a GIRL!!!". So, what if it isn't? Are you going to feel sorry for me?

Then my mom's BFF who I have known my entire life told me about 7 times that she was hoping for a girl AND said, in front of my husband, that we could only handle "one Charlie" in our family (Charlie is my stepson). Hence why the baby simply canont be a boy. Um, great. Thanks.

Thinking back on it, this is where my GD started. I didn't really feel strongly either way about boy/girl until people started making those comments and I felt like it was some kind of prize to have a girl and that people would be smug about it if I had a boy. What the hell? I mean when I think of a boy as a mini version of my husband whom I ADORE, that makes me pretty happy. But I guess a baby is good if I can't dress it up in lace and bows...

Sounds like you live in a girl frenzy circle and I can relate to that because I have been around these people as well who act like having a boy is the worst thing in the world . You're gonna have a great son.

As for whoever saying that only "one Charlie" is enough you can make a comeback saying that at least you won't have to deal with "multiple dramatic and hormonal tantrumy bitchy teenagers" and put a shove in the face HA! . (Of course wise and common sense ppl know this not true, but senseless ppl would think this since they stereotype too much and the ppl in your area tend to be like that).