Gender Disappointment

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

minimuffin27 — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 14:05:19 GMT

I feel the exact same way! I am 13 weeks pregnant with my 4th and final. I am terrified of finding out because the second I hear "its a boy" my dream is forever gone. At least right now I can still imagine my daughter, the clothes I will dress her in, fixing her hair, taking her to dance, getting mani/pedis together. But if its a boy its all over. I feel terrible guilt because if I knew my 4th child would be a boy I wouldn't want a 4th. That's horrible to say I know. but its my reality. I will keep you posted and I hope you'll keep us posted. Praying we both get our baby girls!

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

littlebee3 — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 11:11:02 GMT

Julianna:
Thanks ladies for all the insight and support! I am really hoping this is finally my girl! I just keep praying that I will be able to accept this baby for who he/she is no matter what and that I will have a feeling of completeness even if it is another boy! As much as I want a daughter...I just want to be happy with whoever is in my tummy! Are you going to find out the gender soon playg1rl84? I really hope this one is your girl! I have a NT scan in 2 1/2 weeks, so I am hoping to get a nub shot. I have a pic from my 8 week ultrasound, but I can't tell where the placenta is located so that didn't give me any gender clues. If nothing else, I will just have to wait until my scan at 18-20 weeks and hopefully I will find out then. Good Luck to all you ladies hoping for girls (and those hoping for boys, too)! I hope we all get our DG some day!

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

Julianna — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 17:00:50 GMT

Thanks ladies for all the insight and support! I am really hoping this is finally my girl! I just keep praying that I will be able to accept this baby for who he/she is no matter what and that I will have a feeling of completeness even if it is another boy! As much as I want a daughter...I just want to be happy with whoever is in my tummy! Are you going to find out the gender soon playg1rl84? I really hope this one is your girl! I have a NT scan in 2 1/2 weeks, so I am hoping to get a nub shot. I have a pic from my 8 week ultrasound, but I can't tell where the placenta is located so that didn't give me any gender clues. If nothing else, I will just have to wait until my scan at 18-20 weeks and hopefully I will find out then. Good Luck to all you ladies hoping for girls (and those hoping for boys, too)! I hope we all get our DG some day!

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

littlechicks — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 12:34:26 GMT

Julianna and playg1rl84 I hope and pray you get your girls I really do. I was terrified of an incomplete life longing for a little girl and like you, I had absolutely had enough of all things boy. I love my boys to bits but have no desire to do cars, thomas the tank engine, wrestling, football, rugby, etc, etc again with another. I know I am very, very fortunate to be expecting girls but I fully appreciate that it could of been very different. GOOD LUCK and HUGS xxx

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

littlebee3 — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 07:53:59 GMT

locksley27 how is life with so small kids, mine are similar.....did you conceive your girl while breastfeeding, do you know how many days before O? i am happy for you!

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

Locksley27 — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 05:23:14 GMT

It is entirely possible that this baby is your girl. I had a daughter after 3 boys also and I didnt sway at all. We actully were not even trying to have a baby since our youngest son was only 4 months old. I have seen a lot of women have the opposite gender for their fourth. I really hope that you hear girl at your scan.

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

wounded_healer. — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 13:48:54 GMT

starrynight:
I'm not sure it's hope I can give, but I do have advice...
1) This baby is what it is already . I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting a daughter. It's not pathetic or weird or anything else that should make you feel bad...it just is. And that's ok no matter what anyone says. Having said that...when you feel the anxiety rising about the baby's gender remember to tell yourself "this baby is what it is already, boy or girl I will love him/her and mother him/her to the best of my ability, and I know I can handle whatever comes." It's true and it will help the next 10 weeks not seem like an eternity.
2) Consider having the us tech write down the gender instead of telling you. Also ask that she write "Congratualtions on your son/daughter " as opposed to "it's a boy/girl". I asked the tech to do this with DS2. It helped. Ultimately only you can decide what to do, and everyone will have an opinion...but go with your gut.
3) Be gentle with yourself
Starr

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

wounded_healer. — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 13:46:38 GMT

lol if you think girls smell any better or are cleaner you havent met my daughter(after 3 boys...yep definate hope for you as the odds are in your favor)my dd smells horible when she goes #2 plus you cant put anything light on her as she will have it dark in no time...yes she is dainty but she is a tough lil firecracker with a 'tude and can be very unaffectionate at times...unlike my guys who love me to no ends. good luck!

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

littlebee3 — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 12:46:33 GMT

hope1212:
I've seen a lot of families with the opposite gender after 3 of the same. And if you read the statistics page on this board it claims 88% of families with 4 kids have mixed gender. We swayed for this baby- changed our diets, took supplements, timing, douching etc etc and we are having ds3- it was like a rug was pulled out from under me. The sway gave me such a false sense of security I just assumed this baby was a girl. So I think you are right about it being harder to accept if you swayed. I hope you hear girl. I love my boys, but I think everyone who wishes to raise both genders should get that. It feels like such a void not getting that experience :( it may not be like not being able to have children at all.. But to not be able to have any of 1 gender is really hard to accept. Only people in the same boat understand I think. GL, keep us posted!!

hope1212 well said, like my words ;)

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

hope1212 — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 03:47:50 GMT

I've seen a lot of families with the opposite gender after 3 of the same. And if you read the statistics page on this board it claims 88% of families with 4 kids have mixed gender. We swayed for this baby- changed our diets, took supplements, timing, douching etc etc and we are having ds3- it was like a rug was pulled out from under me. The sway gave me such a false sense of security I just assumed this baby was a girl. So I think you are right about it being harder to accept if you swayed. I hope you hear girl. I love my boys, but I think everyone who wishes to raise both genders should get that. It feels like such a void not getting that experience :( it may not be like not being able to have children at all.. But to not be able to have any of 1 gender is really hard to accept. Only people in the same boat understand I think. GL, keep us posted!!

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

Julianna — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 05:27:56 GMT

Thanks wishingforafairy! I hope it's a girl too, but I will love him/her no matter what! Congrats on finally getting your baby girl after 3 boys! :-)

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

wishingforafairy — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:03:38 GMT

I got my girl after 3 boys, but I swayed hard-core. I really hope you are having a girl my dear...but what is done is done. I am sure you will love the baby no matter what. You sound like a good momma! Good luck.

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

Julianna — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 16:01:23 GMT

Serenity:
I hope you are pregnant with a girl Julianna! You have 3 sons who you love very much and now want the experience of a daughter. I get that, I really do. After having 3 boys I so hope this is your girl.

Thanks, Serenity! I am glad some people get what I was trying to say! :-)

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

Julianna — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 15:59:59 GMT

wantaninaisback:
Julianna, u deserve a daughter.......i would love to have one too....please God please one day very soon.......

Thanks! I hope we both get our daughters VERY soon! :-) I will pray for you, too!

Re: It must be my turn this time, right???

Julianna — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 15:58:08 GMT

littlebee3:
julianna, i know what you mean.

I am sure, even if your girl would be "the queen of the mud" in playing with boys, you would still be so grateful to have HER, to have a woman's nature in your family, and mother-daughter realtionship. Hope you hear "girl!". Did you do any sway...or just "nothing" ?

Thanks, littlebee3! That was exactly what I was trying to say! No, we really didn't sway because I just don't think it actually works. I also thought it would make it even harder to deal with hearing it's a boy if the sway "failed!" Hope you get your girl this time, too! :-)