Gender Disappointment

Re: How will my son ever love me?

xokatietatie — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 15:47:39 GMT

krystal251:

JJ89:
As for being a good mom, there's no play in gender in it..being a good mom means someone who can raise their child to be respectful and disciplined, not whether or not they can put dresses and bows on them.

Re: How will my son ever love me?

krystal251 — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 02:38:34 GMT

JJ89:
As for being a good mom, there's no play in gender in it..being a good mom means someone who can raise their child to be respectful and disciplined, not whether or not they can put dresses and bows on them.

Re: How will my son ever love me?

Seb2011 — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 18:55:47 GMT

If I already had my baby girl, I would have been surprised about having a boy, but grateful that my husband would have a son. I am sure that if we were having a girl he wouldn't be excited about pink and bows and dolls and tea parties just like I'm not excited about blue and sports and bugs and rough and tumble play. I am not sure if I'll be able to have another baby, and I was so certain I was having a girl before my ultrasound so I'm afraid of what the future may hold - but trying to stay positive and already looked into HT options if I'm lucky enough to be able to have another child. The chances of being able to have 3 or 4 children are slim to none for me. Part of me is afraid of ttc another child but the thought of never having a daughter is far worse than the fear of things that could potentially happen to me with another pregnancy. I was open to the idea of a big family before but truth be told if I was having a girl this time around, I probably wouldn't want to have any more children for the sake of my health.

Re: How will my son ever love me?

xokatietatie — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 18:44:54 GMT

I get where you're coming from. I went through GD with DS #3. I am the only pink in a house full of a blue. I am a girly girl just like you. I always have my hair and make-up done... I only wear MAC, Christian Dior, and NARS when it comes to my make-up. I own more pairs of shoes than any other person I know, and love high heels (the higher the better). Fake eylashes, OPI nail polish, and jewelry are a part of my everyday routine. I'm not a fan of getting dirty, at all. And yet here I am, the VERY PROUD mother of three boys. Like others have said, you need to forget the stereotypes and forget the astrology stuff. Your son will love you because you are his mother. You don't have to have every single thing in common, because he will appreciate you for who you are. I also questioned why God gave me a third boy instead of a little girl. I didn't want another one at all. Now, I couldn't imagine not having him in my life. He is the sweetest, kindest, most loving little boy ever. He showers me with hugs and kisses, and loves to cuddle with me... and his older brothers are the same way. They don't constantly wrestle around and behave poorly. As a matter of fact, they're incredibly well-behaved. Just remember that God gave you a boy because that's what you were meant to have. It took me a long time to be okay with that, but now I am. I wouldn't trade my boys for all the money in the world. You are not the first person to feel this way and you won't be the last.

Re: How will my son ever love me?

JJ89 — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 18:15:37 GMT

Well there are lots of cute boy clothes out there, it's just a bit harder to find them. Online shopping helps too (along with being able to avoid the pain of taxes). As for being a good mom, there's no play in gender in it..being a good mom means someone who can raise their child to be respectful and disciplined, not whether or not they can put dresses and bows on them. So if you can do that, you'll be a good mom to all your kids, not only girls. Just curious, would you have minded a boy had you already had girls?

Re: How will my son ever love me?

Halah — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 17:07:50 GMT

Re: How will my son ever love me?

Seb2011 — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 16:01:43 GMT

Lacey_unne:
Seb2011:
See, that's one of the reasons why I feel so bad right now I don't want to be the only lady in the house. I'll never be able to put bows in my sons hair or wear matching mother daughter hello kitty tshirts with him or put pretty dresses on him. I hate the boy clothes. They are not cute. Maybe you can spend less time dressing a boy but who would want to spend more time dressing a boy? Ooh, let's see the blue Spiderman shirt today or the blue Buzz Lightyear shirt today? Oh they are both so darling I can't decide! (yeah, right.) I am so jealous of the women who can dress their girls up and look at the pretty dresses in the stores and I won't get to do any of that because they are the lucky ones who have girls and I am not lucky and am having a boy. You can get away with gender neutrals for the first year or two but after a while you have to start buying the awful toddler boy clothes. I don't take long to fix my hair and makeup so that wouldn't change for me if I had 5 girls to dress. And maybe I will be a great boy mom (which I highly doubt) but that doesn't mean I want to be a boy mom. :(

this SOOO isn't true, not even in the least. I have a 6 year old little boy and he is ALWAYS dressed to the nines and looks sharp everywhere he goes. I love buying clothes for him and putting together outfits for him, his teachers even comment on how well dressed he is and how he always has such handsome clothes that just make him stand out in a great way. I am a mom to a girl and I can tell you that I don't gravitate to the girl side of the store when I go shopping I actually tend to go to the boys section first and pick out a bunch of stuff for my son and then will walk over to the girls side and browse and pick up clothes for my dd if I see some stuff that I just have to have. I know each parent is different and I have been told by some that I am nuts for spending the money I do on my kids clothes but IDC it is MY money so we spend it on what we want, but my kiddos pretty much are always in Gap, 77 Kids (kid version of american eagle) Abercrombie, Crazy 8, not so much gymboree anymore as I am not digging their latest clothing releases. I just love dressing my boy up, I know some are different but that is MY personal opinion. Don't get me wrong I do adore getting my dd dressed but I don't spend any more time on her than I do on my son, they both take about the same time to get ready (much easier now that they dress themselves once I picked out their clothes) I don't do my dd's hair because she hates it when I do it now and even before never went crazy. I don't do the whole bows to match the outfit, we don't do themed clothing IE disney, cartoon characters etc. I do not like that and never have or will ever dress them in that, they are always dressed like mini adults lol I take great pride in how my kids look when we leave the house. not all boys clothes are how you described, take a peak at the websites for the above mentioned stores and you won't think that. I think infant clothing in general is boring regardless of gender, you just have to know what you want and know how to find it.

Yes the stores you mentioned do have some cute boy clothes, but those prices are waaaaaaaaay out of our price range, especially for kid clothes. Most of the clothes for my baby are hand me downs from my sister and most of them are very boy specific (blues, sports themes, etc.) and while the price is right (free) I really don't like them. I think the boy clothes at the discount stores like target and wal mart are ickey too, so I haven't bought very much at all for the baby yet. I wish I had the money to pick the clothes and accessories for my baby, but I don't.

Also, before, I didn't say boy clothes are more expensive than girl clothes. I find that the prices are around the same or slightly cheaper than girl clothes. It was suggested in another post that instead of buying cute outfits for my baby that I spend money on cute outfits for me instead. I said that it wasn't in our budget for me to buy nice outfits for myself anymore. I haven't bought any new clothes in months and only have a few maternity things my Mum bought for me. I had to quit my job and move to a new city after my husband and I got married and we're a one income family right now. It's been a hard adjustment for me to go from not worrying much about money to having to pinch every penny. Like I said, I wish I had the resources to buy things for my baby, but since I don't I have to use what I have. I am grateful that I can save money and not have to use our money to buy a lot of baby things, but at the same time I think it makes the GD even worse.

Re: How will my son ever love me?

Lacey_unne — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 18:00:00 GMT

Halah:
Seb2011:
Well, I think they are cute, and I love pink and putting bows in hair. I don't like primary colors or stripes or plads or any boy clothes I've seen. I've only warmed to gender neutrals. It's much cheaper to buy a cute little outfit for a girl at Target than it is to buy a cute outfit for me at Ann Taylor. Our budget doesn't allow for that. I wish I had a baby girl to "decorate" as you say.
You're right, everyone is different. And apparently I'm alone in disliking the pink, judging by what's avaiable for girls. I try buying clothes for my nieces and it's so discouraging. I never see anything that I like. It all looks gaudy and tacky to me.
I have a lot more fun shopping for my boys, especially when they're little and I get to pick everything. If you put a little thought and care into it you can dress your kids (boys or girls) really cute.

so agree, it is all in a parent deciding what they want and looking out for it. I have never had a problem dressing my kids how I want to have them dressed. sometimes it may cost a bit more but I am real big about my kiddos looking their best when out in public. also you are not alone in the whole disliking pink, I stay away from it when possible. in fact my kiddos just had proffesional christmas photos taken and then had pics done with santa and for the family shots both wore black, white, and/or red, and for the pics with santa both were dressed in black and white with he exception of my son who had some grey in his shirt.

Re: How will my son ever love me?

Lacey_unne — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 17:56:38 GMT

Seb2011:
Well, I think they are cute, and I love pink and putting bows in hair. I don't like primary colors or stripes or plads or any boy clothes I've seen. I've only warmed to gender neutrals. It's much cheaper to buy a cute little outfit for a girl at Target than it is to buy a cute outfit for me at Ann Taylor. Our budget doesn't allow for that. I wish I had a baby girl to "decorate" as you say.

please share where you have found girl clothes for cheaper than boy clothes because I have yet to find a store where the girls clothing was cheaper than the boys. I really should post some pics of my son so you can see how I dress him, there are some oh so handsome clothes out there for boys, again you just have to know where to look. And trust me the whole bow thing gets old after a while and might as well forget about even trying once the little one learns how to rip it off and chuck it on the floor. my dd wouldn't let me put a bow in the world no matter how much bribing I did.

Re: How will my son ever love me?

Lacey_unne — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 17:53:15 GMT

Seb2011:
See, that's one of the reasons why I feel so bad right now I don't want to be the only lady in the house. I'll never be able to put bows in my sons hair or wear matching mother daughter hello kitty tshirts with him or put pretty dresses on him. I hate the boy clothes. They are not cute. Maybe you can spend less time dressing a boy but who would want to spend more time dressing a boy? Ooh, let's see the blue Spiderman shirt today or the blue Buzz Lightyear shirt today? Oh they are both so darling I can't decide! (yeah, right.) I am so jealous of the women who can dress their girls up and look at the pretty dresses in the stores and I won't get to do any of that because they are the lucky ones who have girls and I am not lucky and am having a boy. You can get away with gender neutrals for the first year or two but after a while you have to start buying the awful toddler boy clothes. I don't take long to fix my hair and makeup so that wouldn't change for me if I had 5 girls to dress. And maybe I will be a great boy mom (which I highly doubt) but that doesn't mean I want to be a boy mom. :(

this SOOO isn't true, not even in the least. I have a 6 year old little boy and he is ALWAYS dressed to the nines and looks sharp everywhere he goes. I love buying clothes for him and putting together outfits for him, his teachers even comment on how well dressed he is and how he always has such handsome clothes that just make him stand out in a great way. I am a mom to a girl and I can tell you that I don't gravitate to the girl side of the store when I go shopping I actually tend to go to the boys section first and pick out a bunch of stuff for my son and then will walk over to the girls side and browse and pick up clothes for my dd if I see some stuff that I just have to have. I know each parent is different and I have been told by some that I am nuts for spending the money I do on my kids clothes but IDC it is MY money so we spend it on what we want, but my kiddos pretty much are always in Gap, 77 Kids (kid version of american eagle) Abercrombie, Crazy 8, not so much gymboree anymore as I am not digging their latest clothing releases. I just love dressing my boy up, I know some are different but that is MY personal opinion. Don't get me wrong I do adore getting my dd dressed but I don't spend any more time on her than I do on my son, they both take about the same time to get ready (much easier now that they dress themselves once I picked out their clothes) I don't do my dd's hair because she hates it when I do it now and even before never went crazy. I don't do the whole bows to match the outfit, we don't do themed clothing IE disney, cartoon characters etc. I do not like that and never have or will ever dress them in that, they are always dressed like mini adults lol I take great pride in how my kids look when we leave the house. not all boys clothes are how you described, take a peak at the websites for the above mentioned stores and you won't think that. I think infant clothing in general is boring regardless of gender, you just have to know what you want and know how to find it.

Re: How will my son ever love me?

edoodle — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 12:12:26 GMT

I know how you feel. Our peanut is most likely a boy. I dreamed of a little girl, such vivid dreams, that I feel I am mourning the little girl we were going to have. I keep telling myself he is going to be a sweet, gentle, lovely man one day just like his daddy. We found some adorable little clothes with animals on them, things better than the pink explosion of Pepto Bismol. I think being depressed is really normal. I find that I cycle through being happy as I was when we found out (a bit disappointed) to utterly devastated and back again. I just keep telling myself God knows best, whether doctor's guess of a boy is right or not, and we will love our babies no matter what.

I was a girly girl who loved dresses but was also badly behaved, ran wild, and drove my parents insane. My husband was the gentle, nice kid who was never into sports. We decided as I am a figure skater we'll be putting our little one into skating lessons with his mommy. The sport needs more boys! :) Dance? Sure! If he wants to! Things like that. Stereotypes are just that.

I'm more worried that because my SIL is having a girl before me (my husband is one of 2 boys) that, due to their reactions and stuff, his grandparents on dad's side won't love him. He will see his cousin getting toys and attention and he won't be. I know that will happen. That is why I am so very upset.

But just know like all the mamas here say when you have your baby you love them no matter what. My dad told me that holding your child for the first time, no matter what it is, you just know what life is all about and what love is.

Re: How will my son ever love me?

Jillian — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 23:57:52 GMT

Fortunately children have the gift of unconditional love, congrats!

Re: How will my son ever love me?

dreamsofisis — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 13:42:07 GMT

clazbaz:
deeva:

clazbaz:
and theni fell pregnant again, with my second daughter (despite 100% boy nub guesses!). I never ever imagined i would have daughters, let alone 2, and with a third on the way, there is every chance i will have three!!!!!!!!!!!!

is this REALLY possible? you got a 100% boy nub and got a daughter? but how many weeks were you? I got a 100% boy at 14 weeks but then again i got 75% boy at 12 weeks for my first two....... oh, how i wish they got it wrong for me...... you have me hopeful now that maybe they got it wrong for me too......

http://www.in-gender.com/cs/forums/t/102707.aspx

That is the link to my beautiful little princess, with all 100% boy nubs guesses! Until you get your gender scan - you just NEVER KNOW!

xx

Yep, same here. 100% Girl guesses at 12 weeks and ALL boy.

Re: How will my son ever love me?

clazbaz — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 09:35:14 GMT

deeva:

clazbaz:
and theni fell pregnant again, with my second daughter (despite 100% boy nub guesses!). I never ever imagined i would have daughters, let alone 2, and with a third on the way, there is every chance i will have three!!!!!!!!!!!!

is this REALLY possible? you got a 100% boy nub and got a daughter? but how many weeks were you? I got a 100% boy at 14 weeks but then again i got 75% boy at 12 weeks for my first two....... oh, how i wish they got it wrong for me...... you have me hopeful now that maybe they got it wrong for me too......

http://www.in-gender.com/cs/forums/t/102707.aspx

That is the link to my beautiful little princess, with all 100% boy nubs guesses! Until you get your gender scan - you just NEVER KNOW!

Re: How will my son ever love me?

deeva — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 06:51:51 GMT

clazbaz:
and theni fell pregnant again, with my second daughter (despite 100% boy nub guesses!). I never ever imagined i would have daughters, let alone 2, and with a third on the way, there is every chance i will have three!!!!!!!!!!!!

is this REALLY possible? you got a 100% boy nub and got a daughter? but how many weeks were you? I got a 100% boy at 14 weeks but then again i got 75% boy at 12 weeks for my first two....... oh, how i wish they got it wrong for me...... you have me hopeful now that maybe they got it wrong for me too......