Pre-TTC

Re: I have baby fever.

bye-bye-birdie — Sat, 23 May 2009 01:03:24 GMT

PrincessxNicola, at first I was like"whoa, I am working on baby #5 now". I am one of the fortunate ones, not to have morning sickness. I am doing really well-thanks for asking. OK, I get a little emotional and irrational (goes with the territory). I just have really bad veins. I am 29! I feel too young for that. We will find out the gender in Juy (I think the 2nd week or so). I will let you all know.

I think it is good you and your husband have this time to get to know one another, discuss who is going to do what-lay it all on the table. Also, make some time for dates. We jumped into a lot the first year. I graduated nursing school in May 2002, married in July 2002 and moved in with the in-laws.I was studying for my boards and started work in aug. or so. It was stressful. I Got pregnant Oct. 2002, had the baby July 2003. We moved out the following Feb. 2004 and I was preggo with #2! I worked full time and DH was busy building our place we are in now, in addition to his job.

He worked days, I worked eves. I saw him when I got home at 12:30-1am until he left for school at 7:20 am. I had to work every other weekend and every other holiday. I had 2 days off -sometimes during the week. Well, that is my sob story. He has been busy ever since we got married-right now he is building our real house. Make your marriage and relationship come first. Your kids will need to see how you love each other. We need to improve in that area a lot. We do love each other, but I feel sooooooo drained. Be sure to take time for yourself once kids come! thanks for listening to my sob story.

Re: I have baby fever.

Sihaya — Thu, 21 May 2009 14:38:59 GMT

PrincessxNicola:
So, I just started researching one subject at a time, thinking about what I would consider to be best financially, which is how I came up with saving for a Midwife and the baby supplies ahead of time. I figured it would relieve so much stress to know we have everything taken care of, and then we could really concentrate on TTC and our pregnancy.
Then I thought about how I could make things easier financially once the baby is actually here, and I figured the best way to do that would be to breastfeed and cloth diaper, thus cutting way down on the ongoing monthly costs. I figured breastfeeding would also be a lot more beneficial for the baby healthwise, and cloth diapering would also be easier on the environment.

This is exactly what I did and how I came to the decisions I came to. I like that the choices are healthy for us and the environment, but cost was really the #1 factor! I'm sure if you're researching cloth diapers, home birth, and breastfeeding you know of MDC. It was such a fabulous resource for me in the research stage (and it still is!)

PrincessxNicola:
I'm so glad to hear you managed just fine with a newborn in a one bedroom apartment. All we have is a one bedroom right now, and though we're going to try to find a two bedroom in our price range once our lease is up, I feel good knowing that if it doesn't happen, we'll be fine in a smaller place too.

We didn't have a lot of stuff or clutter to begin with and we decided against a lot of the normal baby "stuff" (crib, exersaucer, swing, bouncy seat, pack n play, etc), so that helped a lot.We actually moved from a 2-bedroom to a 1-bedroom when I was pregnant to save money for a house.

PrincessxNicola:
Can I ask you how your home waterbirth went? I think it would be such an incredible experience, not to mention the most peaceful and calming way to bring a baby into the world. I frequently watch videos of them, and they're all so beautiful and empowering. I don't plan on using any pain meds, but I heard the water works wonders for contractions, and also cuts your risk of tearing WAY down. After all of my research, I can't imagine brining my baby into the world any other way!

It was fantastic! I used Hypnobabies and highly recommend it. The water made the contractions much more bearable and even though the midwives had to pull him out with four (!) hands, I didn't have any major tearing, only "skid marks". If you'd like to read my birth story, it's here.

PrincessxNicola:
It's so funny you had baby fever practically as soon as your DS was born, I imagine I would be the same way! Do you have a month in mind for when you're going to TTC #2? Do you plan to sway?

We're thinking May 2010, so another year to wait still! I really want a February girl (DS was born 3 days after DH's b-day and my b-day's in Feb) and want to space our kids all 3 years apart. I definitely plan to sway and am considering using A-gender. DH thinks it's a waste of money, though, and could care less if we had 6 boys (I want 2-3 boys, 3-4 girls).

Re: I have baby fever.

Nicola Kate — Wed, 20 May 2009 19:35:49 GMT

Sihaya:
Nicola, you sound just like me before we got pg for DS! We waited about a year to start TTC, mostly for money-related reasons. We also saved up all the money to pay for our home waterbirth before we even started trying. I highly recommend it - it relieved so much stress during the pregnancy. I also started interviewing midwives three months before we were going to TTC, but then got pg three months early (oops!).My midwife jokes that I got pg because I had met her and didn't have anything else to wait for We had DS when we were in a one-bedroom apartment and it wasn't bad at all. Newborn babies take up virtually no space and we were moving out before he started crawling. We breastfeed and cloth diaper too!
I know exactly what you mean about baby fever. I had it for over a year before I got pg and almost as soon as DS was in my arms, I had the baby fever again for the next one!

Hi Steph! It's SO nice to hear from someone who did the same things that I plan on doing, it really gives me confidence that I'm taking the right steps.

It's hard because since I don't have any children yet, everything is new to me and there's just so much information out there to absorb. It can be really overwhelming, especially when I don't know anyone who has taken the same route in regards to planning a pregnancy, saving up for the costs beforehand, planning a home waterbirth, planning to cloth diaper, etc.

So, I just started researching one subject at a time, thinking about what I would consider to be best financially, which is how I came up with saving for a Midwife and the baby supplies ahead of time. I figured it would relieve so much stress to know we have everything taken care of, and then we could really concentrate on TTC and our pregnancy.

Then I thought about how I could make things easier financially once the baby is actually here, and I figured the best way to do that would be to breastfeed and cloth diaper, thus cutting way down on the ongoing monthly costs. I figured breastfeeding would also be a lot more beneficial for the baby healthwise, and cloth diapering would also be easier on the environment.

I'm so glad to hear you managed just fine with a newborn in a one bedroom apartment. All we have is a one bedroom right now, and though we're going to try to find a two bedroom in our price range once our lease is up, I feel good knowing that if it doesn't happen, we'll be fine in a smaller place too.

Can I ask you how your home waterbirth went? I think it would be such an incredible experience, not to mention the most peaceful and calming way to bring a baby into the world. I frequently watch videos of them, and they're all so beautiful and empowering. I don't plan on using any pain meds, but I heard the water works wonders for contractions, and also cuts your risk of tearing WAY down. After all of my research, I can't imagine brining my baby into the world any other way!

It's so funny you had baby fever practically as soon as your DS was born, I imagine I would be the same way! Do you have a month in mind for when you're going to TTC #2? Do you plan to sway?

Re: I have baby fever.

Sihaya — Mon, 18 May 2009 18:48:41 GMT

Nicola, you sound just like me before we got pg for DS! We waited about a year to start TTC, mostly for money-related reasons. We also saved up all the money to pay for our home waterbirth before we even started trying. I highly recommend it - it relieved so much stress during the pregnancy. I also started interviewing midwives three months before we were going to TTC, but then got pg three months early (oops!).My midwife jokes that I got pg because I had met her and didn't have anything else to wait for We had DS when we were in a one-bedroom apartment and it wasn't bad at all. Newborn babies take up virtually no space and we were moving out before he started crawling. We breastfeed and cloth diaper too!

I know exactly what you mean about baby fever. I had it for over a year before I got pg and almost as soon as DS was in my arms, I had the baby fever again for the next one!

Re: I have baby fever.

Nicola Kate — Fri, 15 May 2009 01:05:14 GMT

angel-abby - I just noticed that you are in fact pregnant NOW! CONGRATULATIONS! How are you feeling and when do you find out the baby's sex? Hope everything is going well in your pregnancy so far!

Re: I have baby fever.

Nicola Kate — Fri, 15 May 2009 01:01:06 GMT

angel-abby:
PrincessxNicola, I just read your "baby fever" post. You are wise to want to minimize your debt and get ready. That is good for any one single or married.

I know all about baby fever. We have 4 girls and are expecting baby #5. We got married almost 7 yrs. ago and worked very hard to pay of school loans, car loans, a little mortgage and the little house (it's a house over a garage) is all paid for. We own the land we are on and have only 1 credit card for emergency use only. That gets paid off the month it is due. I had to work for 6 yrs. at a job I really didn't like but now I am a SAHM-my dream.

Best Wishes with your planning. I love to write and I would make lists and lists of baby things I needed/wanted. I would "window shop" and write down priced. Anything to pass the time!

Hi angel-abby!

Thank you so much for your response!

I am also planning to be a SAHM. I'm not really the career oriented type; I never have been. All I ever really wanted was to be a wife and a mother, and I am a wife so I'm halfway there, now I just need the kids! I know that being a SAHM isn't for everyone, and that there are plenty of women who welcome going back to work after their LO is born, and I completely understand why some women feel that way, but for me personally, I couldn't imagine anyone else playing a hand in raising my kids aside from my DH and myself. I just wouldn't be happy unless I could be the one with them all day everyday, and I am very fortunate because my DH wants the same thing, so no battles there. He just wants me to be at home with our kids where he knows we will all be happy, which is another reason we're waiting to TTC, as it's giving us the time we need to save for baby items and whatnot so that we aren't too strained financially. If we just went ahead and TTC right now, then I'd have no choice but to work because we wouldn't be prepared financially, so waiting is a compromise I'm willing to take if it means I can be a SAHM.

I'm so glad you were able to acheive your dream of being a SAHM. You worked hard for it and you really deserve it. I bet you're enjoying every minute of it! I also think it's incredible that you have been successful in clearing all of your debt, as well as being able to buy a home and land. You really are proof that it CAN be done as long as you work hard at it and are determined, which gives me hope! I needed a boost today, so thank you for giving me some optimism.

Thanks for the wishes! I'm so excited to be planning this journey, it really is the most amazing thing. I have been doing the exact same thing, window shopping, makings lists, etc. My DH and I even have baby name lists already, THAT'S how anxious we are!

I'm sure some people we're ridiculous and over-the-top with our meticulous planning, but honestly, that is the ONLY thing that is getting me through this TTC wait and keeping me sane. I think if I wasn't doing all of this planning I'd be so depressed most of the time, so I agree that it's definitely good to pass the time. Are you and your DH planning on TTC another baby in the future? Good luck if you are! I'd love to follow your journey.

Re: I have baby fever.

Nicola Kate — Fri, 15 May 2009 00:37:28 GMT

mimosa75:
I have put together a post with lots more info I think you might find it useful not for now but it's never too soon to get educated on this topic, it's a mine field to be honest! UK ladies planning IVF/PGD
I have been live in Pembrokeshire since January 2007, I am originally from Italy but moved in the UK in 1996, fell in love with the place and never went back, well only for holidays; before moving in Wales I lived in Hertfordshire and Bedfordshire.

Are you planning to stay in America long term?

Luci

Hi Luci!

Thank you so much for the link, I will most certainly check it out. I agree - you can NEVER start researching a subject as indepth as PGD too soon. It will certainly be helpful for me (and others) to have a lot of the information in one place, so kudos to you for taking the time to put that together! I bet you're just counting down the days for when you can start your journey now, eh? So exciting!

Wow Italy? That's so cool! I've never been but have always wanted to. Hopefully I get the opportunity to some day. Italian food is my absolute favourite!

See, that's the beauty of living in Europe, you can pretty much live and work in almost any country within the EU without having to apply for Visa's/Work Permits, etc. I feel very blessed to know that I have the choice to live in a wealth of countries if I wanted to since not everyone has that opportunity. How do you like Wales? I think it's lovely there! Do you and your DP plan to stay there permanently?

Yes, I will most likely be spending the rest of my life in America. My DH is American and I agreed to move here when we got married; in part because he already had himself more established with a career here than I did back home, but also because I had always dreamed of living here, and I adjust to change much better than my DH does, so, it pretty much made sense all around and we're very happy with the set-up. We never even considered moving my DH to England, I was eager for the change. Not because I don't love it there because I do, I absolutely adore it and I truly do miss it, not to mention my family, but I seem to get restless and bored staying in one place for too long. That's the thing I love about America, it's huge and we can always move to a different state if we get tired of Nevada (which I'm starting to!). We will visit England just as my family visit us, here, so it's not too bad. I do get homesick once in awhile, but I suppose that's to expected when you consider it's all I've ever known. I keep in contact with family via phone and email as much as possible which makes it easier. Do you find it hard being away from friends/family or have you learned to adjust? I have been living here for a little over two years now and aside from a little homesickness from time to time, so far, so good! I wouldn't change it.

Re: I have baby fever.

bye-bye-birdie — Wed, 13 May 2009 12:55:04 GMT

PrincessxNicola, I just read your "baby fever" post. You are wise to want to minimize your debt and get ready. That is good for any one single or married.

I know all about baby fever. We have 4 girls and are expecting baby #5. We got married almost 7 yrs. ago and worked very hard to pay of school loans, car loans, a little mortgage and the little house (it's a house over a garage) is all paid for. We own the land we are on and have only 1 credit card for emergency use only. That gets paid off the month it is due. I had to work for 6 yrs. at a job I really didn't like but now I am a SAHM-my dream.

Best Wishes with your planning. I love to write and I would make lists and lists of baby things I needed/wanted. I would "window shop" and write down priced. Anything to pass the time!

Re: I have baby fever.

madwoman — Wed, 13 May 2009 09:26:27 GMT

Hi Nicola,

you are most welcome, researching is what I do best!

PrincessxNicola:
I only have a very limited amount knowledge about PGD since it's not something I have personally researched yet, so your post definitely gave me some insight!

I have put together a post with lots more info I think you might find it useful not for now but it's never too soon to get educated on this topic, it's a mine field to be honest! UK ladies planning IVF/PGD

I have been live in Pembrokeshire since January 2007, I am originally from Italy but moved in the UK in 1996, fell in love with the place and never went back, well only for holidays; before moving in Wales I lived in Hertfordshire and Bedfordshire.

Are you planning to stay in America long term?

Luci

Re: I have baby fever.

Nicola Kate — Wed, 13 May 2009 08:16:50 GMT

mimosa75:
PrincessxNicola:
I'm from England too and if I remember correctly, they don't allow PGD there.

You are right, it's illegal in the UK for family balance, it's only done for health related problems and I am sorry to say that I doubt very much that things will change anytime soon either. I live in Wales and I am planning to travel to Jordan for mine as it's not too far away, also the Farah Hospital is one of the best hospital in the world for it and much cheaper then anywhere else.

I don't think you need to worry yet about GD as it's your first but if you are so set to have the opposite gender after your baby is born then I would highly raccomend to to the PGD as with natural conception you still only have a 50/50 boy/girl chance.

Luci

Thank you so much for the info, I truly appreciate it! I only have a very limited amount knowledge about PGD since it's not something I have personally researched yet, so your post definitely gave me some insight!

I would LOVE either a boy then a girl or a girl then a boy, but since I know that PGD is SO far out of the realm of possibility for us financially, most likely for many years to come, DH and I would probably have 2 or 3 children first before seriously considering it, as we would like 3 or 4 children anyway, so it would make sense for us to try naturally and then if it doesn't work out the way we hope, just do PGD for our last baby so it's a guarantee. Ideally I'd love two boys and two girls, but I'd be happy just as long as there was at least one boy and one girl in the mix.

It definitely sounds like you've done your research, you must be so incredibly excited! Your little Princess will be here before you know it.

You live in Wales? I actually was not too far from there, I grew up in Gloucestershire, and my step-dad drives down to Wales everyday as that's where he works! Small world, eh?!

I hadn't even thought about the possibility of traveling elsewhere for PGD. I did look up the prices here in the U.S. and I was astounded, thinking there's no way we would ever be able to afford it, and when I told my DH he about fainted LOL, but now that you've mentioned how much cheaper it is in other countries I'll be sure to check into that just in case I ever need it!

I pray that I won't have to use PGD and hope I'm worrying over nothing, but being on this forum and seeing so many women with several boys or several girls in a row definitely brings me back down to reality and makes me realize that it could just as easily happen to me as well. Not that having all boys or all girls would be a terrible thing by ANY means, I think all children are blessings and I'm sure it's an absolutely incredible experience, but it has always been my dream to have the opportunity to experience both genders, and I don't think I would handle it very well if that didn't become a reality for me, kwim?

Thanks again for the info, Luci, you have been most helpful. I will definitely be sticking around and I can't wait to watch your journey! I'm excited for you!

Re: I have baby fever.

madwoman — Tue, 12 May 2009 21:54:01 GMT

PrincessxNicola:
I'm from England too and if I remember correctly, they don't allow PGD there.

You are right, it's illegal in the UK for family balance, it's only done for health related problems and I am sorry to say that I doubt very much that things will change anytime soon either. I live in Wales and I am planning to travel to Jordan for mine as it's not too far away, also the Farah Hospital is one of the best hospital in the world for it and much cheaper then anywhere else.

I don't think you need to worry yet about GD as it's your first but if you are so set to have the opposite gender after your baby is born then I would highly raccomend to to the PGD as with natural conception you still only have a 50/50 boy/girl chance.

Luci

Re: I have baby fever.

Nicola Kate — Tue, 12 May 2009 19:04:14 GMT

noimagination:
I am hoping to go high tech next time to try to even up my family. I adore my boys but want to experience a DD too. Possibly start IVF/PGD end of 2012.... really long time for me.

How exciting! I know what you mean, I'm desprate to have a girl and a boy, I would LOVE the experience of parenting both genders and it devastates me to think I may never get that, BUT since I'm just starting out, I guess I shouldn't worry because it could all be for nothing. If it doesn't happen for me then I can always save up and take the same route that you are, IVF/PGD. Are you going abroad to do it? I'm from England too and if I remember correctly, they don't allow PGD there. I live in the U.S with my DH now though so I would most likely be able to do it without having to leave the country if it came down to it, so I suppose I'm lucky in that respect. Hopefully U.K laws change before 2012 so you don't have to travel either. Then again, it would be a GREAT excuse for a holiday!

noimagination:
Am in the process of surrogacy atm so at least I still get to be preg

WOW, you're doing surrogacy?! That's SO cool! You have my utmost respect. What an awesome experience! You must truly love being pregnant.

noimagination:
Thank you so much. I searched for ages to find them matching/ contrasting shirts for my wedding. I think it goes.... REAL men wear pink, lol.

I agree! Real men most certainly do wear pink, hehe.

Re: I have baby fever.

Forever_Outnumbered — Tue, 12 May 2009 12:19:05 GMT

PrincessxNicola:
When do you plan to start TTC?

I am hoping to go high tech next time to try to even up my family. I adore my boys but want to experience a DD too. Possibly start IVF/PGD end of 2012.... really long time for me.

Am in the process of surrogacy atm so at least I still get to be preg

PrincessxNicola:
By the way, your boys are absolutely BEAUTIFUL!

Thank you so much. I searched for ages to find them matching/ contrasting shirts for my wedding. I think it goes.... REAL men wear pink, lol.

Take care. x x x

Re: I have baby fever.

Nicola Kate — Tue, 12 May 2009 04:03:56 GMT

noimagination:
You're very patient! I was the complete opposite and still am.

I have baby fever too.... even after 6!

Look forward to watching your journey. x x

Honestly, I'm trying SO hard to be patient because I know it's in our best interests to wait for awhile, but I'm desparate to have a baby already. In fact, I wouldn't mind two! Waiting is just so hard, isn't it? I'm counting down the days, but even once I finally am pregnant, I'll have to wait another 9 months for my baby which just seems SO far away! It's so nice to know I'm not alone though, I think I would drive myself insane with the anticipation without this board for support. When do you plan to start TTC? I'll be looking forward to watching your journey also! I love seeing women with excitment for another baby even after they've had several, it's so wonderful. By the way, your boys are absolutely BEAUTIFUL! I'm sure you hear it all the time, but I just couldn't resist saying it anyway.

Re: I have baby fever.

Forever_Outnumbered — Tue, 05 May 2009 08:23:03 GMT

You're very patient! I was the complete opposite and still am.

I have baby fever too.... even after 6!

Look forward to watching your journey. x x