The swaying debate

Tamara:

MyDreamBabi:

And no, i don't think you want to know if swaying is 50:50 because you credit the birth of your son to all of these techniques...so automatically you have a vested interest in proving that it was the sway and not luck

I have to say, I feel attached and offended by this post.  First off, I could have easily done what 99% of all posters do after they have there kids and leave.  But I didn't because I want to help.  Second I'm not trying to prove anything.  I would love if this is wrong because then I can leave this sight and spend time with my kids that they deserve.  Do you know how nice it was last week not to answer the 1000's of repeat question I get every week and instead only worry about my family??  I am only on IG because God wants me to help people.  I DO NOT force people to sway.  I put warnings up EVERYWHERE that swaying is not 100%.  And people on ig take me for granted constantly.  I'm sorry if you feel I have something to prove, maybe your right.  I want to prove swaying wrong so I can stop this madness and get back to my kids.  But so far that isn't happening.  Instead I get a huge debate blow up the very day my grandmother dies, then get yelled at for locking it.  And i only locked it because it was off topic, not because everyone was being mean, till now anyway.  So then I have to spend an hour moving all these stupid posts  and reorganizing them so everyone will stop whining.  All the while my kids want to play in the pool, everyone is calling me for when the funeral dates will be and its really hot right now and I'm extra crabby.  Some people are really ungrateful.

 

on a side note, I will probably come back and delete all of this, but come on people, I have a life to!

I, for one, very much appreciate all of the time that you put into this site. I wish that people could debate without attacking each other...

I agree tamara i really apprciate all the effort, time and work you put into this!  THANK YOU

 Amity & My Dream Babi ~ I'm sorry swaying didn't work for either of you. It really does suck. I'm also sorry if people discounted your stories/sways. Amity ~ I think I remember reading about your sway the first time you posted it. I'm always interested in everyone's outcomes - positive or negative.

I believe swaying can work (not that it ALWAYS works) and I think IG does a really good job of warning people that at-home swaying is NOT an exact science and that it *may* increase the odds, but it's not a perfect method. I've been a member of this site for 1 year now and I have never deluded myself into thinking that my odds of having a son would be 100% with swaying. Quite honestly, if anyone here DOES believe swaying is 100%, they are the ones being delusional! 

I also wish that people would come back and post their attempts no matter what the outcome. I think it's really lame that someone would use this site for information and then not share the outcome. I feel 100% justified in saying this because I've swayed twice and lost both babies. Whatever pain someone feels in getting an opposite is surely met with the pain I felt in my son's death. Nonetheless, I still shared my story because I felt it was the right thing to do. I used the site and I 'gave back' by sharing the results. Of course, there's a way to do this without being mean or nasty and without trying to debate or blast the methods. 

Lastly, My Dream Babi ~ 6 people isn't enough to prove anything. If your survey involved 50 people, I might be a little curious in the results, but 6 isn't enough to show me anything. And, I don't think it's fair to refer to Gender Swaying as a sub-forum while the site is about Gender Disappointment. GD has the same 'forum ranking' as GS. They are both equal and valid parts of the site - as are so many other things. I personally did not come to this site because I was disappointed in the gender of the children I already have. I came to this site because I wanted to learn how to tilt the odds in my favor of conceiving a boy. Many others came for the same reason.

Tamara ~ Thanks for moving this thread, I think it's more relevant and will get more traffic out here in the main GS thread rather than the attempts/outcomes sub-forum. 

Funny how I've felt from the beginning that I would probably be one of the 20% that it didn't work for, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to try.  I also don't believe that the statistics are accurate.  I don't think that you can take someone who has 1 or 2 children of one gender that sway and have it work and compare them to someone who has 4 or more of one gender.  I think that for those that only had 1 or 2, the chances were still really high that they would concieve the other gender without swaying.  I actually went through and looked at only those with 4 or more of one gender.  It was still better than 50/50.  My feeling is that I need to try again for a DD.  If I don't I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life.  If I don't get a DD I will be sad, but it won't change anything except that I would have another son to love.  I have also come to the conclusion that a "perfect sway" doesn't guarantee anything so I'm not going to kill myself over it.  I think it would be worse to believe I did it perfect and not get a DD than to know it wasn't perfect so it might not work.  I will do my best on it.  Some will be perfect and other parts won't be, but it will be my best. 

I was told by a friend of ours that was a nurse after our 4th DS was born what he believed was the best way to get a DD.  He told us that before having sex I needed to douche with vinegar.  I have also heard that from other people who's OBs have told them that.  So if outside sources are saying that, there must be some validity to it.  Still doesn't make it 100% but must raise the odds.

I do believe that women who think that it will give them their dream no matter what is kidding themselves.  Nothing is a gurantee.  But it won't hurt either.

Tamara - I just wanted to say that I think what you do for people on here is very much appreciated .

I came on here with low expectations , I have however spent six months reading through the research you have taken the time to provide and came to my own choice to sway based on these methods .

I am aware that there is no 100% guarentee of the sway that I wish for . However for the normal everyday people who have little chance of saving up the large amounts of £'s needed to pay for the gender they desire this site gives you a glimmer of hope .

We all know there is nothing 100% and have to prepared ourselves for GD , but that small glimmer of hope and the chance to meet and talk to like minded people is what brought me here .

 I think the time that you put in and the path that you have chosen to provide the continued help to others should be recognised .

At the end of the day each to their own , I am just happy to of had the chance to hear so many different stories from like minded mums

 x

I agree that the "stats" are silly...I mean really quoting 80% for anything like this is almost well, cruel. BUT if you don't have the $$ for IVF then we all want SOMETHING that helps put the odds in our favor even if it is based on assumptions and a little luck.  I don't think there is anything wrong with the people on this site having an opinion that swaying works and if you disagree, it this part of the site is not for you.  Everyone is looking for help, trying to remain hopeful and since no one knows why some people tend to have more boys more more girls there is nothing wrong with speculating about what might sway the odds a bit.  I don't think anyone on here is stupid and no one would say 'it says 80% chance I will get my DD or DS' we all know you still have to get lucky, right?

 i haven't read through every post.  i went hi tech when swaying didnt work for me the second time. however, i admit to it being a very 1/2 assed sway.  i hadn't found ig yet.  since i went hi tech i don't feel qualified to weigh in on a swaying debate.  HOWEVER, what i can say, is that it is beyond crappy to attack tamara.  she puts her heart and soul into helping women on this site.  she has never been dishonest or misrepresented herself or the information she provides.  ig would not be the site it is without her.  

if you think swaying doesn't work, then don't do it.  it seems you don't think hi tech doesnt work either, so what is the point of even coming here and stirring the pot?  

I also wanted to say that I think Tamara (and the others) have done a terrific job here. The advice and resources have helped a lot of women here either to achieve their dream or even just to feel that they have some kind of control over their attempt.

I dont feel that this forum gives anyone a false guarantee, even if you do everything right. I find it funny that someone is using the results of 6 women to base their decision that everything is 50/50. That is a ridiculously small study group. You could find a group of 6 women in a row who all had girls using these methods that would not mean it was 100%. 

 Just because swaying does not work for some people that does not instantly negate it for everyone. I find the statistics fascinating and think they are very beneficial. It is impossible to get relaible figures as everyones sway is different and there are so many factors to take into account (and no control group). I dont think that they are trying to give the impression that  this is your fail safe way to get the girl or boy of your dreams.

For what its worth I do believe that swaying can increase your odds and I want to know (even if I dont get my desired gender) that I did everything that I could. My wonderful Mum has stage 4 cancer and has been given a 10 % chance of making it 5 years. Those are crummy statistics but she is dong everything in her power to be in that 10% and not in the other 90%.

Jen

I believe in swaying or I wouldn't be here (and I wouldn't be trying it).

That said, just think of the word "sway" itself. A sway is a gentle, subtle movement in one direction. That's all we're doing. Giving our bodies a small nudge in one direction.

That saying goes for both swaying AND high tech! Im sertainly glad that there is a swaying forum, cause I do really want to increase my chances of getting a DD.

Having come from the high tech forum, where I spend 1 YEAR and have 3 failed IVF/ICSI/PGD cycles behind me ... and YES I did actually think, that I would be pg. now, having had 3 IVF cycles! But NO, Im not pg. and whilst PGD is almost 100% (even though there was an opposite not long ago) then I really think most of us fertile women dont really deep down think we will end up not getting pg. after 3 IVF cycles. The saying goes ... that 90% will be pg. after 3 IVF cycles and surely those last 10% must be the couples with fertility problems, right? WRONG!

What Im trying to say is ... whatever works, if it works for you! The 100% PGD for gender is really just a whole crap load of money down the drain if you dont get pg.! Then what are you to do with the 100% sertainty if you dont get pg.? I dont regret doing hich tech, but Im sertainly not going to idealize it that much ... cause if you dont get pg. then the 100% is really of no use!

Im ready to start swaying and Im thankfull for all the advice I can get. Cause reading about diet etc. etc. ... I can understand why we have all these boys!

So what I was trying to say is ... I think more IG ladies know that swaying is not a 100% or 80% or etc. etc. But yes, of course they are allowed to get sad and crushed if their sway attempt didnt work. That doesnt mean, that they werent aware of the swaying was not a sure thing. I actually think, there are more high tech IG ladies that gets deeply disapointed, when they failed at high tech because everybody says its 100% for gender. And yes sure, we know and read about that not all get pg. But never think it will be me and sertainly not after several attempts!

Again, it works ... IF it works for you! swaying, high tech and yeah, so many other things in life.

Thank you Tamara!!!!!  I am glad you responded to that and I hope you do not delete it!!!  It is really sad that one moment it is said we all have an opinion about swaying or high tech then the next moment the same very thing is being attacked!!  Like attacked in a way that swaying is a joke!!  Well, if you believe it to be a joke, then why are you on here looking at the swaying attempts?  Why, are you curious about a failed attempt or do you feel like there might be some merrit to all of this?  This post was on swaying outcomes, so if YOU (and those skeptical know who you are) then why are you lurking around that particular forum if you really think that swaying is a joke.  Now, if you don't feel that it is a joke, but are a little skeptical...well, that is okay!!  We have all been somewhat skeptical.  There is skeptism in everything in life.  Those of us on here that believe swaying works (and we know it is NOT 100%) want to see the failures as well so we can examine them and see what a person did or did not do.  Not to see if the moon was out of sync and then laugh and say "Oh thats why it didn't work,  it was a full moon that day"!    No one needs these comments....comments like this are not on the high tech board, so why on the swaying board? We all go about getting our Dream baby girl or boy in different ways, so with that being said it is only fair that you respect everyone's attempts.  I can say that with my second baby I did a shettles attempt (well, I thought it was).  I knew when I O'd, but honestly I did not feel my cervix or know about cm changes,  I relied on dates and OPK's.  We dtd 3 days before O (or I thought) and another boy was the result.  I could have easily said..."No, I followed what the book said and got a boy".  And then I could've just bashed the shettles method!!!  But, I did not...yes I tried it, but I really was not ready to try it!!!  So, with that being said...at least in my situation and I am sure many....we are not just jumping into swaying.  We are getting to know our bodies, checking things that work for others and things that DON'T work as well!!!!  So, this original post interested me because I thought it was going to talk about how it did not work, instead it was why and then a negative tone over shadowed the how it did not work and became a debate about how all swayers need to be very aware that this does not work and not be naive, which is why I joined in.  I really am taking it all with a grain of salt...

KatesDreamGirl:

  it seems you don't think hi tech doesnt work either, so what is the point of even coming here and stirring the pot?  

ITA!  ITA! Negative. Negative.

when i found this site , tamara was pregnant , in her last weeks, and i said , this woman will go away from here in very soon , i should hurry up to copy everything and ask many questions as i can , i was shocked when i saw here here again after delivery,

i am still shocked as she is making all only for the sake of GOD , i would never do it

when i learned the first thing about "sex selection" i was 100% sure that i knew the way , after AF 10 =girl, another 10 days=boy ! i was pretty sure and convinced that , that was the way

in IG , i remember like today, the first think i read and made me shocked , and it was like a strong slap , nothing is 100% but PGD !

after reading almost all IG, now i know well that i should try when i want another baby , not when i want a boy ,

so now, i read all again and again , when i decide to have another baby , i will do my best to get what will make me feel better

if it doesnt work, i will be so happy to have another sweet girl, i will be still tahnkful to Tamara for the time and effort she spent to know and tell all info, i will still love kristindoggirl for her great support and excellent heart, i will still pray for all my friends here trying and doing their best to inrease my chance to have a baby boy , and i will not think that all the science behind swaying is a bullshit only because of my failed sway,

 my husband smokes a lot , and he is not cancer alhamdulilah thanks GOD, does it mean smoking doesnt cause a cancer ? i know many people ( i am one of them) smoking a lot but still very healthy , now can i go to any website telling about dangers of smoking and say no, its not true, i am smoking since 15 years , and i know many people who smokes like chimney and they are very healthy, so smoking doesnt have any effect on health ?

i believe that you are just trying to warn those people who might be thinking that they found the magical way of making boys/girls (as i did before) , and you are right , everybody must know that its not 100 % , your post can be good wake up douche for those people

, but also , its not 50/50 with swaying , if we look from your window, even 99% is 50/50 , you can be in %1 or 99% only two chances in all persentages

the only thing which really works 50/50 is the pink dust i am sending you now

i wish you all the best luck in your high tech journey

I think swaying works. There are lots of scientific studies showing that doing different things affects gender - but they usually only raises the odds by 2% or 5% or maybe, if you're really lucky, 10%. I do think if you do lots of different things that sway well, you MIGHT be able to raise your odds as high as 75-80% for your desired gender. But even 80% effectiveness is a far cry from 100%. There are going to be lots of opposites conceived with low sway methods - even if the attemps are "perfect" - and IG makes it very, very clear that that is the case.

I don't think anyone with a "failed" sway should be criticized for doing anything "wrong." It's hard to follow all the swaying recommendations perfectly, and most people who sway and get their desired gender didn't have "perfect" sways anyway. Heck, most people who get pregnant didn't sway at all - and conceive both boys and girls without any efforts to sway whatsoever. But if someone claims to have a perfect sway, conceives an opposite and then claims low tech swaying is just 50/50 because it didn't work for them - it is totally fair to point out why their sway might not have been as perfect as they think. Swaying isn't 100% effective just because it worked for Person A, but it also isn't just 50/50 because it failed to work for Person B. Microsort can be as high as 90% effective and people STILL conceive opposites. That doesn't mean Microsort isn't scientific or doesn't work.

I also think 5 examples - even if they were "perfect" sways - proves nothing other than swaying isn't 100% effective. I also don't think the swaying spreadsheet is scientific or "proves" anything, but the information is still interesting and useful. You just take it for what it is. And I don't agree that only people with "failed" sways don't come back and report on how their sways didn't work. I think a lot of people get pregnant and then leave IG period, whether they ended up with their desired gender or not.

It's also pretty shitty to attack Tamara for anything. She is only here to help people, and her efforts play a huge role in why IG has so much accurate information about swaying. She never said swaying was 100% effective, and it isn't her fault if some people end up with too high hopes for swaying based on what they read here.

"Swaying works--if it works for you." - That summarizes it perfectly.

I'm sad that my thread turned into such a heated debate and people are getting attacked. I wish there was a way to keep emotions, and especially personal attacks, out of this.

 This will be my last post in it because I think it's reached a point where people aren't really listening to each other anymore but just defending "positions".

I will re-iterate one more time that the original intent of my post was not to deter anyone from swaying - we are all adults and can make that decision for ourselves.

I posted my attempt(s) because I read a post that said all swaying attempts were welcomed and I finally felt ready to share.

Yes, it is my opinion - after my personal experiences - that swaying does not increase the odds by very much -- maybe more than 50%, but certainly not 80% or 90%... in any case, that is my personal opinion, everyone is free to hold their own beliefs. Beliefs change according to experiences, too. We all change according to our life experiences. Of course, if I had had a girl after TBM I would now believe in it... the thing is we can never know for sure if it was the sway or if it was just "our time". I can see both sides of the debate.

I really do think that we should ALL be able to post our opinion (on swaying and anything else) without being personally attacked, accused of not loving our kids or told that "if you don't believe in swaying then why do you just not do it (instead of speaking your mind)". BOTH sides should be able to speak freely.

Somebody else NOT believing in swaying should not bother you if you have made your choice to try it out. Nobody is holding a gun to your head saying "don't sway", they're just saying, they don't believe in it for themselves.

The only one who has to be convinced (or unconvinced) is you (and your husband/ partner) -- you're the one making the decision - for yourself.

I shared my experience (as invited) NOT to start a huge debate but to share my personal experience and maybe help others in the making of that choice by offering additional information, namely the importance of emotionally preparing yourself for an opposite. Most of the early responses I got were appreciative, and for those people who really did understand the true spirit and intent of my post, and read it the way it was intended, it was worth it. For those who did not need the advice, I'm happy that you are so secure in your choices and have already done the necessary emotional and mental preparation.

I wish everyone the best -- may we all see our dreams fulfilled, no matter which path it may take.