I just need to vent girls..................

I am sooo upset at DH right now. I have been going to the gym every day for at least an hour to lose the baby weight. Sometimes, I go to the gym for 2 hours. I am doing really well. I work 40 hours a week (40 hrs in 3 days) I shuttle the kids to and from school, soccer, karate etc. I care for my baby girl while I am at home 4 days a week. I clean the bathrooms, mop the floors and vaccum the house. I also wake up at 3-4am every night when the baby cries and I get up again when my 3 year old needs a drink. He stays in bed fast asleep. When DH gets home from working his 7 hours, I take the kids to the gym with me for an hour while I work out to give him a break not to mention, lose weight .  Tonight I took DS 1 to karate after the gym.  I went to subway to get DH his favorite sub. When I got home, he started yelling at me saying that I got to go to the gym for an hour and have a great time!! and that I had to get my kids ready for bed before I could eat my food (I had just worked out in a high impact dance class and was very hungry. WTF??? Poor DH had to look after the 2 younger kids for an entire 2 hours. Give me a break!!  He is mad because he had to pick up a few toys. Every night I am at home with him, He yells at me and naggs about small things. Yet when I am working, he tells me he wishes I were home. I dread comming home every day because he has been so mean to me. I do not feel I deserve this and I am debating ending this relationship so I can find someone who treats me better. Any advice ladies?

my gosh hon, you sure don't deserve the way he is treating you. I think he is spoiled and needs a reality check. Stop cleaning up toys, stop mopping those floors, make him watch the kids ever second he is home from work, make him sleep next to the baby monitor, you wear ear plugs, he can take the kids to their sports while you go to the gym or heck just go shoping cause you need to go on strike! maybe the he will realize just how much you do!

{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}

 

AirForceWife&MommyX4:

my gosh hon, you sure don't deserve the way he is treating you. I think he is spoiled and needs a reality check. Stop cleaning up toys, stop mopping those floors, make him watch the kids ever second he is home from work, make him sleep next to the baby monitor, you wear ear plugs, he can take the kids to their sports while you go to the gym or heck just go shoping cause you need to go on strike! maybe the he will realize just how much you do!

{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}

 

Zactly! What is with men??????

AirForceWife&MommyX4:

my gosh hon, you sure don't deserve the way he is treating you. I think he is spoiled and needs a reality check. Stop cleaning up toys, stop mopping those floors, make him watch the kids ever second he is home from work, make him sleep next to the baby monitor, you wear ear plugs, he can take the kids to their sports while you go to the gym or heck just go shoping cause you need to go on strike! maybe the he will realize just how much you do!

{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}

 

ITA!! im sorry he is taking advantage of you! you dont deserve that

Wow. I do have to agree that he seems to need a wake-up call and stop taking you for granted! I wouldn't say "end it" just yet, but wow, you have every right to have those feelings, and he has got to stop treating you like the hired help. I assume he knows how you feel, but doesn't take it seriously? Maybe just stop doing all the stuff you do for him, maybe take a "strike"? Maybe get a marriage counselor (yeah, I know in your spare time, right?). Wow. So sorry you are going through this...

Your husband sounds like a tool.  I remember you complaining about him when you were pregnant, and it sounds like the same old story about him still being a jerk.

Yeah, I'm all about 50/50 in a relationship, so what you describe above would not work for me at all.  Personally, I would insist on marriage counseling.  If he does not agree to it than I would take the kids and leave.  Honestly, it sounds like you are practically a single parent as it is.  Might as well reap the benefits of child support and maintaining your self-esteem. 

He sounds like he might as well be one of your children!  Telling you that you have to wait to eat...  Come on.  This is not 1950.

Good luck.  It sounds like a really difficult situation with no easy solution.

 

I can't tell you what to do, but that would def. not fly in my house.  I hope you can figure out a solution....

Your husband is being a dick.  However, he may not actually SEE just how much you're doing (men are wonderful at not being able to see the obvious).  I would suggest writing down exactly what you do in a week so he can literally SEE it right in front of him.  You can also write down exactly what he does so you both can compare them side by side.  Ask him where HE thinks improvements should be made. 

From the above (and of course not knowing you or the situation completely!), it seems to me that your husband wants a traditonal housewife - but also probably needs the money that you bring in by working.  Maybe it would help to hire a weekly housecleaning service or to send the laundry out.  I told my DH that if I ever went back to work (he wants me to; I'm ambivilant) that the only way our marriage would survivie is if we sent the laundry out and had a housekeeper come in at least once a week.  My DH has been spoiled by me running all the errands and taking care of all the household stuff.  Even then, we'd still need to wash the daily dishes and pick up the house TOGETHER.  Since he's the one working, I do almost all of these things (however this is our arrangement).  

If he doesn't care for his alone time while you take the kids to the gym, offer to leave them home but that you NOT going to the gym is simply NOT an option.  And bitching about the small things like him having to do 5 minutes worth of toy pick up isn't going to foster any good will on your part. 

The other side is that maybe he's jealous you have something that is yours - working out.  Does he get any time to take off and do whatever with the boys?  Like a weekly poker thing or something?  And I think he needs reminding of how having an hour alone in the house while you take the kids to the gym is his opportunity to work on his hobby - whether it's working on an old car, video games, playing music, going to the gym himself, etc. 

I'm really sorry you're having to deal with this.  If this doesn't bring about a good conversation AND change, then I would suggest marriage counseling.