why are people so insensitive

I am really upset today. Everytime I get to a point of accepting I am having a second boy someone goes and says something insensitive. I was getting a manicure today--trying to pamper myself and the woman said to me--"I hope you have a girl- they are pretty"..as if boys are not a form of beauty? I know that I am taking everything personally but it is hard. Then my sister-in-law --who of course has a girl and boy says --oh well maybe you will get a whole lot of pink this time. I really can't take much more of this.

i'm right there with you. i was so upset this morning at the gym before spin class. i was standing outside the spin room talking to another preggo, who is also having a girl and already has a 2yr old son, when another preggo(she is also having a girl and already has a DS and a DD) comes up and starts talking to us. well we know each other from high school and she is due one month before me and our oldest children are in the same class. she asks the other preggo what she's having then asks me. when i said, another girl, she bursted out laughing and had the nerve to say, oh my god i bet you just wanna kill yourself. WTF!! what kind of comment is that. i know i complain a lot in this forum about not getting my little boy, but I also don't think having 3 girls is the absolute end of the world. i was sooo pissed when she said that and was laughing right in my face. I wish I didn't have to see her face because I'm just soo angry with her, but she's everywhere. I'm a fitness instructor and she takes my class every week, i have to see her at the spin class every week,  I see her at our kids school every day and she will be at my DD birthday party. ughh...what is wrong with people?!!

I'm sorry people have the knack for saying the wrong thing... Most of the time, though, especially with strangers, I think they have no idea what they are saying is insensitive -- they think they're just making friendly pregnancy conversation.

Hope your day gets better...

I can totally relate to the insensitive comments.  That is another reason why I am glad we didn't find out (although at this point I would probably lie if we had) because people say the rudest things anyways like, "Oh I bet you're hoping with every piece of you that it is a girl!" and I think you would probably be even ruder right now if I told you it was a boy.... People just don't think and I hope that I will be more sensitive to pregnant women for the rest of my life, unlike the friend last week who says that I look like I am having triplest.....fun...... anywas Keisha I think you should work that woman's butt off the next time she takes one of your classes  

Keisha:

 but I also don't think having 3 girls is the absolute end of the world.

Its Not Keisha, its lovely, sweet and very special...

I know, as I am one of 3 Lovely Sisters! And in Our case, we know how special we each are to each other...

To the OP, Dont mind People, they are Insensitive... Period!

People don't stop to think.  Only yesterday, I visited my friend and her new daughter and got an insensitive comment.  In a room full of people, as the baby was handed to me, my friends father said "Don't hand her the baby, she doesn't know how to hold pink".  There was a mixed reaction in the room, some people laughed, some people defended me,  Either way it sucked!!   I know how you feel.  If I think of some good come-backs I'll let you know!!

 

OK so I feel that the people who say these ridiculous comments are the ones who have what they want already and it came easy for them and didn't have much preference for the 3rd or 4th. They just open their mouths and spew out insensitive garbage, because they're ignorant about how painful this is for us, and they're smug on top of it. It angers me so much that once I start hearing comments from 'friendemies' I slowly start steering away from them, because they trigger sad emotions for me, and subtract from me being able to accept what I have been blessed with ! I certainly don't need that in my life. Today for instance I had lunch with 3 of our friends, and all 3 families have 2 boys each ! Why shouldn't I set myself up in an environment that's not supportive, we need to feel supported in what we have, and when we do... then we can be more present for our kids and not caught in our heads about 'what we DONT have' ... and focus on what we DO have ! I don't need anyone to remind me of what we don't have, instead I need relationships that foster positive feelings about the children I do have.

charlie:

Keisha:

 but I also don't think having 3 girls is the absolute end of the world.

Its Not Keisha, its lovely, sweet and very special...

I know, as I am one of 3 Lovely Sisters! And in Our case, we know how special we each are to each other...

To the OP, Dont mind People, they are Insensitive... Period!

So true! (I'm one of 3 girls and am expecting my 3rd girl)- it's a very special family dynamic. I've taken to pointing that out to people with silly comments and it's amazing how other people will follow your lead when you do. I think some women have a harder time with other women and a house full of girls would be very threatening to them- I'm guessing the girl who made the 'bet you want to kill yourself' comment is one of those!

wannababy3:

OK so I feel that the people who say these ridiculous comments are the ones who have what they want already and it came easy for them and didn't have much preference for the 3rd or 4th. They just open their mouths and spew out insensitive garbage, because they're ignorant about how painful this is for us, and they're smug on top of it.

this is sooo true!!! all the stupid comments and so sorry for you looks i get are from people that have mixed genders and yes, they do have a certain smugness and arrogance. it just burns me up!!!

I'm so sorry that lady said those things. I'll bet she's jealous. Your SIL sounds like she's trying to get under your skin, so forget her. I hope you feel better.

Keisha- that lady's face isn't pregnant and neither are your fist.

Hopeful1986:

Keisha- that lady's face isn't pregnant and neither are your fist.

LMAO...THANKS!!!

 Im sorry ! Boy are very cute and handsome too!! What a rude idiot!

Keisha:

when i said, another girl, she bursted out laughing and had the nerve to say, oh my god i bet you just wanna kill yourself. WTF!!

 

I can't believe this!!!! Kill yourself?? For what?? My DD3 is so precious!! I would have slapped her face for sure  right there!! ( really)

Please, please  send her to hell next time!!

DCC:

 I think some women have a harder time with other women and a house full of girls would be very threatening to them- I'm guessing the girl who made the 'bet you want to kill yourself' comment is one of those!

U are soooooo right... and its sad for me to hear, see or read when people make certain generalization comments, as what might have been bad for you, isnt necessarily going to be bad for the whole world!  For some families, a house of Girls works pretty damn well, I can say this with 100% certainty as I come from one of those homes. And it was special, having my sisters. 

 Wow, I can't believe some of the comments you ladies are getting!! *hugs*

People never fail to amaze me!!  I'm so mad on your behalf!  These comments are nuts!

I think for future need, you should just carry a roll of duct tape (works for everything right?) and next time one of these um.. people say something.. just simply tear off a small piece of duct tape and cover their mouth with it.