So it happened.....

Ok firstly, I want to thank all you ladies for your nice replys.  It really really helps to come here and know that others may SAY they know how I feel...but you girls really do know how I feel.

Secondly, Katharine  Aidan was born at 12:37pm. :)  What time was your DS born?  That is so neat that they are born the exact same day.

Thirdly, Mumof3girls my sister knows how I feel and she definately doesn't "rub salt in the wounds"  She's mentioned quite a few times how she's trying to be sensitive about it.  And even kept pictures of the pink and purple nursery from me until I asked to see them (stupid me huh?)   I spoke with her today and my hubby said in the background some smart comment about the comment my mom made (which my sister knew nothing about) and so of course she started asking questions.  I told her I didn't want her to worry about it and she kept asking what she said.  So I told her what my mom said and she couldn't believe it either.  She then went on to say how she hopes I'm not mad at her and how she hopes I don't take this out on her or the baby.  Which I would NEVER do.  I told her I hope she knows I would never do that, and if I would I wouldn't have gone to the hospital, and wouldn't be calling her 5 times today to check in.

And lastly, Nicole, yes Roy is my DH although I wouldn't really say "D" right now LOL.  I tell him all the time he has no clue how I feel cause he has his boys.  I told him if the situation was reversed and it was 3 girls he's want to try again and he'd know how I felt.  Of course he says that isn't true....but of course he's saying that...we have the boys.

 

Heather, You have verbalized so many things that I have thought and felt. It always makes me so sad for my sons as they live in the shadow of their precious female cousin. ALL children deserve to be celebrated and recongnized.

I am so sorry that you are feeling so sad. I am in shock that your mum & mil said those hurtful comments to you. Your beautiful little Avery (love the name) is just as important & precious as this new baby girl. I don't know why people seem to get all excited over girls but not boys.You have every right to feel the way you do..the fuss will die down...& just think your little man while be the first to achieve all the milestones.If they don't make a fuss of him..then its their loss xo

Wow, what a ton of mean crap your mom said to you. That's such BS. Who does she think is going to grow up and marry this baby girl one day? A DAMN MAN that is who so she can say all she wants your son was just another boy, but boys turn into MEN that help LEAD this world. Good Lord I'm enraged over here....

 I'm sorry you are feeling like this, but what is with all your family being mean to you???? I bet your boys are AMAZING and I am so SICK of people pushing THEIR issues on the rest of the world. So your sister had a girl, thanks for everyone SHOVING it down your throat...

Ugh, just hang in there. And know it's not YOU it's everyone being mean to you, and yes I think it IS mean what they are saying and doing.

Heather,

Reading your post made my chest ache!  I am so sad that anyone much less your own mother would say such unkind things.  She doesn't deserve your sweet boys.  If I knew where you lived I'd literally hop in the car and head over with a big hug.  I am glad at least your sister knows and is trying to be sensitive.  Hopefully, all the hype will simmer down after awhile, or you could check Carey's hilarious thread where she photoshopped her new niece to look like Bozo the clown-that should at least give you a laugh! 

I also feel so sorry for you.

That must have been the hardest thing in the world to have too do.I am also dreading the day my sister or my brother and his wife give birth to girls. I dont know what to say to make you feel any better other then the fact that what you felt and are feeling is the same as me and other mums on here who also desire a little pink bundle as much as you do.

I dont think the wanting a little girl will ever go away completely if you decide not to try again but i do think it can get easier in time and you can learn to accept and get on with your normal life and not always have these feelings but if you do want to have another take comfort in the thought that you may just get a little dd too.

take care

MommytomyAs:

Secondly, Katharine  Aidan was born at 12:37pm. :)  What time was your DS born?  That is so neat that they are born the exact same day.

 

WOW! Tristan was born at 12:35 p.m. eastern time! That's crazy-they are two minutes apart!

I'm so sorry you're hurting-and it makes things even more tough when you have family acting like that.  You're not alone.  During my first pregnancy, my sister and I were three weeks apart-she ahead of me.  She found out she was having a boy and I was actually relieved! I didn't even know what I was having yet, but she was already going to provide the first grandchild, I wanted to provide the first grandaughter.  Then I would feel so guilty for feeling that way.  My mother, sister and I all wanted us to have girls.  My mother getting ready for the babies arrival, bought pink crib bedding and blankets.  But three weeks later, I found out I was also carrying a boy.

 I wish there were some magic words I would give you to make you feel better.  Just know that you're not alone, and your feelings are completely normal.
 

Heather,

So many of us are blessed to be able to give birth (and my heart goes out to those who can't), to a baby.  It's who our babies become that really matters.  Boy...girl...it's a clean slate for all babies.  How we, as parents, leave our handprint on their lives is what will reflect as they grow up.  When your 3 boys grow up to be responsible, honest, kind, intelligent, ambitious, hardworking MEN, it will pale in comparison to simply giving birth to a girl.  Of course, your neice will have 3 amazing role models...but whether she chooses to follow in their path or not is another story.  Your boys are not "just another boys", they are someone's future husband, employee, friend, role model, FATHER.  Right now it seems to your family that having a baby girl is the greatest feat anyone can pull off....who our children become is far, far more important.  (I'll try to remember my own words if/when I find out I'm having another boy!  I know it doesn't take the pain away, but it helps to see the big picture, doesn't it?!)

 My prayers are with you.

Wow Heather. You are incredibly brave. My heart was breaking for you just reading your post. In my immediate circle (mother's group, play group and friends), there are 7 of us having no. 2  and one having no. 1 within a few months of each other.5 having girls, 2 boys (incl. me) and one unknown. Three of the girls have already been born. All to mums that already have a girl. I have not seem one of them and I am not particurly close with the other mothers (part of my mother's group and play group). But going into the hospital room of the lady from my mother's group, seeing that tiny little girl was incredibly difficult. And seeing the other mum at play group with her 3yr old girl and her newborn girl is awful enough. My best friend is having her girl probably 2-3wks after I have my boy. I honestly am dreading it. I don't know how I'm going to deal with it.

Anyway, I think you are incredibly brave and I completely understand how you must feel. Although I can only imagine how agonising it must be when it's your own sister and niece. Shame on your "H" for being so insensitive and even moreso for your mum. What an awful thing to say to you. I would have been devastated.

You are doing great. So sorry it is so awful for you. Take care.

Heather,
I could feel your pain right along with you while reading your post.  I know how it feels, my brother has 3 girls (first 2 are twins) -  granted, I'm not real close to them, but it doesn't make the hurt any less.  The only thing I can send you is {{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}} and know that we're all here for you!