NOTE: I posted this in the GD forum too, but since it's about adoption, I also wanted to post it here.
I always wanted two boys, and then a little girl. I had my two
boys, and it didn't even take me by surprise. (Someone should've
smacked me, LOL...)
When DS#2 was two, I decided I wanted to
adopt my DD. That was 11 years ago. ELEVEN YEARS. What happened? In
a nutshell, DH wouldn't agree to adopt. And yes, I resented him for it
and still do, although I try not to.
One year ago, I got accidentally pregnant. That sounds weird,
but how else can I put it? I was a tiny bit mad at God, because I had
still not given up my dream of adopting my DD. Still, I wasn't TOO
mad. After all, a biological DD would work too, although that wasn't
quite my dream family. Close enough, though.
Of course, the baby wasn't a girl, and I had DS#3.
My GD rears it's ugly head when I see a family with two boys and an adopted DD.
And let me tell you; they are freakin all over the place, especially on
adoption blogs. And there is post after post about how LUCKY the
mothers are to have been able to adopt their DD and how it is such a
different feeling and way of becoming a mother. Many say it's more
powerful than giving birth biologically. It's like a double blow to my
GD: I want to feel that feeling of being a mom to a DD and feel the feeling of becoming a mother through adoption.
The greatest experience, the one
which shakes a soul with hopes and fears, the results of which are
never ending, and incidentally, the one which pays the biggest
dividends, is to be found in the adoption of children ~Anonymous
My GD is sadly multifaceted.
This post was mostly for me to work out my thoughts, but thank you for listening! I always feel supported when I'm here at IG. 