I have been ttc since last July using several different methods (supplements,  high tech, and just giving to God.  I did get one BFP in March, but m/c at 6.5 weeks.  My regular OB put me on Clomid and determined my progesterone is low, so increased the Clomid and depending on my next progesterone #s probably put me on progesterone (my first # in June was 8 and my most recent # was 11.3).  I really thought this was my cycle.  I really felt like I was pregnant, amazing what the mind can do when the heart longs so.

I told myself I would give it a year and now here I am on my last attempt and AF is on her early signs.  I am numb right now and just needed to post my thoughts and type thank you for all of the support you ladies have given me over the past year.

My head says move on and count your blessings of two healthy handsome sons, but my heart still aches for a little girl.  I will always morn the loss of my angel girl, but truly felt God would give me another girl here on earth. 

My question--WHEN DO YOU KNOW IT IS TIME TO FORGET ABOUT YOUR DREAM AND MOVE ON WITH LIFE?  

The RE I went to I really didn't like and i have another one closer to home that I may just go talk to him one more time to see if it truly not an option for me to have any more children.  I think if I talk with him, it will give me the closure or hopefully a positive outcome.

I am sorry to ramble on....... 

Thank you to Maureen for creating this wonderful forum and for all of the ladies who have been so kind and supportive to me over the past year. Wishing everyone the very best and may your gender dreams come true. 

I'm sorry sweetie!  I was so praying for you this cycle. 

I really hope you find an answer to your question.  I really can't even begin to know what you are going through so I can't even shed light on it.  I think you will know in your heart when you are really ready to move on.

Big hugs!

I think your heart will tell you when it's time to move on and you'll feel the closure until then I'd say keep the dream going!  I know the ache of wanting a DD and  how you just can't shut those feelings off.  Good Luck!   

Trust me, after 13 months, starting month 14, I know how you feel. I have given up on only wanting a girl, and now am just ready to accept any child. I think you should keep going until you know you won't be regretting your decision. I think I'd regret it if I stopped now. But, everyone is going to be different with that decision. I hope you are successful next month if you're truly out this month.

Totally been there, only difference is I've had 3 m/c's and 2 chemical pg's.  How old are you, is it an age thing?  For me personally, I don't want to be pregnant over the age of 40, neither of my boys were easy pregnancies and I was a lot younger then, if you KWIM?  So, my absolute cut-off is fast approaching as I'm 38 in 2 months.

Go and see a DR, it will make you see things more clearly I suspect.  Good luck!

Jager,

I am so sorry - but is it possible to not actively

try but just leave it up to chance for a while? My friend did this

in a way that she had unprotected sex but without the intention of getting pregnant (she has two older children already) and

BAM she got pregnant with her little Sophia which was born on my friends 41_st birthday!!!

Krissymum

Thank you for all of the encouraging words.  It truly helps. Yes, I am definitely out as AF showed up today.  My husband has been telling me to throw all of my monitors and stuff out and just don't think about it and if it happens, great, it not, then not meant to be.  I am going to talk to the RE I had originally signed up to visit just before my DS2 was conceived.  He is top notch, been on discovery health and has a great "bed side" manner which is what I will need.  I am sure I will be a crying fool, but he is used to that.  Age is a factor.  DS2 was conceived at 39 with no problems. I am now 42, yes ancient, but if Marcia Cross can conceive twins at 44, why can't I get one at 42.  I am in good health and clean living, so we'll see what the RE says.  Of course, my eggs are not what they used to be, but I just need one good one :)  Thanks again and wish everyone well! 

It's the "trying" in TTC that sometimes hinders us from getting pregnant.  I agree with your dh.  I think you should not think about it, or track your cycle....but maybe you can do little things to sway along the way like just drink cranberry juice or take cranberry pills....and maybe if you happen to feel O pains, you can pop a sudafed....little things.  After 2 months of hard swaying, I gave it to just not swaying anymore and let nature takes it's course.  I got pg the cycle where I wasn't swaying...LOL...figures.  But I still think I have just as good shot at a girl then I did if I swayed.  It's 50/50 anyway IMO.  So I think if you can accept another boy in your life, then just take the plundge and do little things to help you along the way but don't concentrate on the sway anymore.

 I also firmly believe that for some of us, the swaying keeps us from even getting pregnant at all. I am pretty sure it did for me. My cm still hasn't recovered fully. I'm about to go pop a mucinex for our bd tonight. I would give up on the sway, if you can accept another boy, and just bd when you think you're ovulating. ((HUGS)) 

Hugs to you.  I am 40 years old in two weeks and have been trying for quite a while. In  fact I have truly lost count. 

I have been swaying for about 9 months I think I cut off my chances for 90% of that time, no CM at all etc....

Interesting this month, I have been in Hospital due to an infection from a HSG and stopped taking supps and guess what an abundance of CM, like the good old days.  

I was truly over doing it because as we get older we become more natrually acidic and I seem to be natrually 4.5 and with all the supps I probably ended a two and I would suggest my Hubby who is 45 years old we killed all his sperm as he probably a natrual 7.

Perhaps try a very gentle sway and try and encourage the CM and check yours and Hubbys Ph.

I am now going to do a very gentle sway , just a bit of cranberry, calcium and magnesium and maybe if too much CM and my ph goes high I will use a bit of Aci-gel- love that stuff!!!! to lower back to 4.5 if needed, that is it and I am going to do whenever I want and orgasm if I want etc....

I truly believe it is the lack of CM, no orgasm,  natrually higher acidity and STRESS as we get older that does not help when swaying.

Yes, I know the quality of eggs declines reapidly at our age but we still have eggs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We just need that golden egg.

Please try another Doctor as they can be very negative about age and this does not help from a mind health point of view. 

Marcia and some of the others have IVF, but we can still do it natrually.  Our Greatgrandmothers and other cultures today had and have babies natrually until their menopuase!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot say when to give up for you. But I can say that giving up is something I have wanted to do alot and then I shut my eyes a think about my dd and this keeps me going.  Sometimes it is easier to just give up.

Also, do not let other people etc.. judge and influence you especially when it comes to age,  I have found that this has been a barrier for me as I believe at my age I will not get pregnant or it will be harder to due to my Dinosaur eggs     Again I truly believe it is a state of mind.

For me I am going to keep trying until I dry up and then I will consider Donor eggs.  I never want to go to my grave with any regrets but that is just me.

My thoughts are with you and please feel free to PM me if you need to talk.

Hugs Melody 

I hope you get your BFP soon, don't give up.  Have you tried taking coQ10, I think it helps improve eggs quality although boy friendly.

It took me 2+ years to get my bfp, the only swaying I did was a lime douche afterwards.  The month before my bfp I started coQ10, bought fertility stones from ebay (was getting desperate), there's also a hypnosis cd on ebay for getting pregnant.  The month I got bfp I started B6 on cd14.  I'm almost 38yrs and still can't believe I'm 13 weeks pregnant after waiting so long to get here.

Don't give up on your dream, I hope it happens very soon for you.

Jager,

if there is still longing for aanother child, keep your dreams going. If you are now ready to accept any child, I believe that it would make things eassier, by eliminating cut-offs and supplements, etc. Once the swaying starts, pregnancy in itself becomes more diccicult. If you have been trying for a year, but for few months you were swaying, then it does not count as a whole year, because swaying can make conception difficult for so many people.  i think that it is great for you to feel happy with what you already have. That is truly great. But that does not mean that your dream want come true. Sometimes, when you reach peace and contentement with what you have, that is when beaitful surprises happen. It sounds like your OB did not give up, so why should you? But by all means, working on being content with your Blessings is always a winning attitude. My Mom became pregnant with my sister at your age, after few miscarriages. Why can't that happen to you?

Anyway, we are here for you.

Hugs,

Jager:

WHEN DO YOU KNOW IT IS TIME TO FORGET ABOUT YOUR DREAM AND MOVE ON WITH LIFE?

When you know you wont regret not trying.  20 years from now will you be ok that you stoped?  If you can can yes then you know you can move on.

Thank you for your encouraging words.  I scheduled an appt with a RE on Sept 3.  Once I get his second opinion on what my egg reserve looks like, then I will know which path to go down.  Emotionally I am still not ready to give up, so we'll see.  I am up for adoption, but my sister and mother are against it since they have heard such horrible stories.  BUT---for every bad story there are twice as many good ones.  We'll see what happens.  Thanks again!

I think you should only give up if you can picture yourself another 10 years down the road and are happy that you tried everything you could.  THat is what started out my 4 year ttc journey, too many clomid to count, 3 injetable cycles, and I was so longing for a girl to give my DD a sister, that is what kept me going.(and the fact that my DS has high-functioning autism, so I am terrified to have boys again) so at almost 36, I did my final chance of ttc, IVF.  Took several mos to talk my hubby into it.  IT WORKED, we put back 2 embryos and are now expecting TWIN BOYS!  SO, am I happy the IVF worked, yes, esp since I have always wanted twins (I should have been more specific with my prayers-to pray for b/g twin LOL:) Am I devastated of the loss of the dream of having another girl, esp when I look into my teary eyed DD who so desparately wanted a girl to play dolls with? certainly.  Could I have used preimplantation genetic diagnosis to see screen for downs (and would have also told gender I believe), yes, but I always assumed that i wuld be having another girl.  SO, even if you do keep trying, and even if you do get a miraculous BFP, it may be a complete suprise and be the gender that you were hoping not to get!  It's all up to God,ibut you'll know when to stop trying if you are satisfied that 1. you have done all you can do, afford to do, or want to do, 2. you won't regret not keeping going, 3. If you are satisfied (despite GD with what you have already), 4. If you do want to keep going, just realize seriously, that it may not be your ideal dream gender:)  Hope that helps.