I flip flop on this issue a lot. 

First, I love  BOTH my girls to death and would not change either one at all. 

But sometimes I wonder if I could have my two exact same girls just wait till I was a liitle older (say 20 or 21 for dd#1) would I?  My initial reaction is no.  Things happen for a reason and I am who I am today in part because of them and my experiences having children early.  On the other hand, I think of my girls having kids at 18 and having to go through the struggles I went through and I would not want that for them.  I leaned on my mom a lot for help and support and still do.  But my mother basically provived for me and my dd#1 until she was about 1.  Looking back, I don't think it was fair to her at all.  Also, I didn'tr always have the money to do for dd#1 what some kids get to experience.  For God's sake I was only 18 when I had her.  I was a freshman in college; I was basically a baby myself.  Then, flipping back to the other side because of having her I pushed myself in college because I knew I needed to be able to provide for her.  I graduated on time (even though I took a semester off after having her) and with the highest honors.  She alsl made me want to go to graduate school.  I wanted to be able to give her what my parents gave me when she was older and I needed more education in order to have the money for that.  So, I guess the answer is no.  Although life may have been easier for me having my girls early made me who I am today.  (I still wouldn't want that struggle for them though ) 

If I could have both my same dudes, then yeah, I wish I would have finished law school.  Got pg with DS1 the week after my 22nd bday, a month into my first year of law school.  DH and I were already engaged and planning the wedding for the following summer (had the hotel reserved and everything) so we just moved the wedding up six months, and at the time I was happy to drop out of law school even though I somewhat enjoyed it.  I was going through a personality/quarter life crisis at the time where I was convinced that I shouldn't have gone to law school because I thought I just wanted to go to be able to say I was smart enough to be admitted to a good school, not to be a lawyer, which I thought was too much career because for very personal reasons I was desparate to get pg and convinced I'd be infertile.  Now, almost four years after dropping out, being unhappy with being a SAHM, and pondering all my career options, I've come 360 degrees and decided that after (hopefully) #3 in the next couple of years, I want to give law school another shot.  Everyone, including me, thinks I'd make a good lawyer, and it doesn't have to be an all-consuming career. 

Then again, I did get to stay home with both my babies (and hopefully a third baby as well) without the pressure of "when am I going back to my job" looming on the horizon, so maybe it's best things worked out this way.  I think I was too immature for law school when I entered, anyway; I really should have taken a year or two off THEN gone to law school. 

Sure I'm not going to start my career until my early thirties, but that's when most people these days are starting their families, and in the long run, if you had the choice of spending an extra decade with your kids or with your career, wouldn't you choose your kids?  I would.

It would have been nice to have other people in my peer group birthin' babies at the same time, though.  Nobody I know from high school or college is anywhere near having kids now.  Plus if I had kids older, I might have been more likely to make #3 a girl with natural swaying, since SIL, the only girl in my DH's large extended family, was born when MIL was 35, and I hope to have #3 (who could possibly be my last baby) years before I turn 30, so I feel obligated to go high tech to make a girl happen.

I flip-flop too!  It's hard!  Good thing we have no choice now, right?

For the most part, no.  I was 22 when I had my 1st.  I had been married for 2 years, and had just graduated from college (3 months prior).  Looking back, I wouldn't have minded a little more time with just me & DH.  Our only child-free years were spent in college full-time and working part-time.  But we were so anxious to start a family that we tried as soon as we possibly could (timing it to be done with school).  I like being a younger mom though.  My mom was 21 when she had me, and I like that I'm 26 and she's only 47.  You just get to spend so much more time (theoretically) with your kids, and then grandkids, when you have them early.

Oddly enough, I don't. I got pg with ds1 at 17 and while it was hard and I suppose I missed out on a lot of the normal teen-early 20 things, I love that I am still relatively young while my kids are. Technically, I could be a Grandma now. Chances are I will get to meet my great-grandchidren and maybe even great-great grandchildren. That means a lot to me. 

Sometimes I wish I had waited a few more years.  I was 21 when DS1 was born, I didn't even get to go out and drink it up!  Also, I would like to have been able to do more, travel more.  Gets kinda hard when you have baby in tow! 

But.......I'll be young when they all move out!  I'll be 48 when this baby is 18 and I made my mom a grandma by then, so I think that's pretty young still.  My luck, I'll be made a grandma by one of my boys by then, too! 

Yes and No! I'm happy at THIS moment and every moment before that has brought me here ( make sense) i really do personally think that 18 is too young to have a child i was'nt even fully grown myself she was like my dolly all i dreamed about was dressing her and playing with her, so mature. We're all good now but boy do you have to grow up fast! Also there is such a stigma attached to being a young mum people( often strangers) look down on you, they think your either a single mum, slut, hopeless, broke, unemployed etc do any of you find this to be true?

No way! I got pregnant at 20 6 mts after getting married. I love beign a young Momma. I have the energy and I still feel hot

Ahimsa_Malozzi:

Sure I'm not going to start my career until my early thirties, but that's when most people these days are starting their families, and in the long run, if you had the choice of spending an extra decade with your kids or with your career, wouldn't you choose your kids? 

That is probably the best reason for having children when younger that I've ever seen mentioned 

Though I guess in my case it wouldn't have worked out so well since I didn't find my soul mate until a month before my 30th birthday 

eva4eva:

Also there is such a stigma attached to being a young mum people( often strangers) look down on you, they think your either a single mum, slut, hopeless, broke, unemployed etc do any of you find this to be true?

What is so wrong with being a single mum?

I don't...  I planned to have my kids young so I could focus on career and myself when they were older and in school full time.  I think it's kind of a waste of time to go and do a load of qualifications, get a career off the ground then throw it all out the door so you can have a child and then the struggle of going back to it afterwards...  I'd personally, rather just do it all after my kids.

I was actually in a really good place at 18 when I had my DS1.  I owned my own home, was married, my DH earned good money...  I was actually in a lot of wats better off then most career-minded older parents financially.  I went on holidays (and still do)...  We had/have a lot of fun.  My kids have motivated me to get off my arse, not waste my younger years "partying", and to make sure I am financially secure for them.

I think I'm an extremely ambitious person by nature anyway, but I really don't think I'd have the fantastic life I have now if I hadn't had my kids when I did...  Before we decided to start TTC we basically just wasted time and money.  Hell, we didn't even have an active social life compared to now, we didn't go out nearly as much as we do now either...  I can't think what we did except waste our time doing nothing...

My life is so much better since I had kids.  I own two houses, numerous nice cars, go on nice holidays, am financially secure, run our own businesses, socialise a lot both with and without my kids...  We have a lot of fun now.  I can't imagine I'd have done the things I've done if I didn't have my kids to motivate me into making a better life for them.

TwoAngels:

 

eva4eva:

Also there is such a stigma attached to being a young mum people( often strangers) look down on you, they think your either a single mum, slut, hopeless, broke, unemployed etc do any of you find this to be true?

 

What is so wrong with being a single mum?

Absolutely nothing, but not everyone is, is my point. People stereo type young mums, well thats my observation any way and all of us are proof that we are so different in our circumstances. Im proud to be a young mum i take it as a compliment when people say you look so young to have kids! I think we're living life backwards to the norm- kids 1st, career 2nd and when our kids are grown we'll ( DH and I ) spend some time "alone together" lol 

No way!!!! I loved having my girlies at a young age. I have alot of energy to play with my girls and i get to grow up with them....and i will also get to be a young grandma - but hopefully not too young

Praying4Pink:

I could focus on career and myself when they were older and in school full time.  I think it's kind of a waste of time to go and do a load of qualifications, get a career off the ground then throw it all out the door so you can have a child and then the struggle of going back to it afterwards...  I'd personally, rather just do it all after my kids.

i agree 100% with this too....

Praying4Pink:

I was actually in a really good place at 18 when I had my DS1.  I owned my own home, was married, my DH earned good money... 

I think this is the difference; money makes all the difference in the world.  Had I or dd#1's father been making good money at 18 I think it would have been less of a struggle.  The simple fact is that at 18, most people aren't making good money or even close to good money.  For most that dosen'tr happen until a little later.  I had to struggle (financially) with both my girls, but espically dd#1.  It has only been within the past year or two that I can say it hasn't been that way because I have graduated from my mater's program and can finally have a full time job making good $.