will this ever stop in my life?

Southern Butterfly:

Most of my GD did fade once he was born but it did rear it's ugly head at times afterwards as well. I don't think I truly started to really move on until DS3 was close to a year old. Once that process of healing and moving on began though, it just seemed to "snowball" and I felt stronger. It felt so good to take all my power back and no longer let GD control my feelings.

Wow, I sure hope this is what happens for me too. GD faded a lot when DS2 was born, but I still deal with bouts of it and so hope it will be less and less as he gets closer to age 1 too. I'm just really tired of the pangs of despair when I see little girls. When I'm at home with my family, I don't obsess about it too much thankfully, but it still crosses my mind regularly and it just feels surreal and unfair that I will probably never have a DD... Sometimes I recite this quote in my head: "God, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I can't change.". But then it goes on ".... The courage to change the things I can": what if that last part means having a 3rd child? I never wanted more than two and am still very hesitant about it, and there are no guarantees of a girl unless HT is done...but. Btw, had DS2 at age 36 and no problems whatsoever with pgcy and delivery. If you'Re healthy to start with (no diabetes, no high blood pressure, etc.), you should be fine. Anyway, just to say I can relate to a LOT of what's been written on this thread.

FOURTH&FINAL:

 sabrine, nothing in this world is more important than you seeking the help you need to be able to give your youngest son all the nurturing and care that he needs. i mean nothing is as important right now. what you're going through could be post partum depression or a number of other things; this must be determined by a professional. you may subconciously be pushing your child away as a way to protect yourself in some crazy way...i don't know, but i know and you know the damage that can be done to a child who feels unwanted. so unfair to the little guy. i too was sad my 3rd was a 3rd boy but i knew i had to do what i had to do - what we all must do - and you know that breaking down this wall you've built is absolutely the single most important task you have. you have to get be your own drill sargeant and stop thinking about the girl that is not here, and care for the young child that is here and who desperately needs your love and affection in the same exact desperate way you want a daughter. you and only you can stop this. please stop this, that's what yout baby would say to you if he only could :(   xoxxoxoxoxoxox 

I totally agree with that. And a another thought, since I can relate to the OP (perhaps my GD is milder tho, but it's nagging nevertheless): sometimes I feel like I need to "brainwash" myself out of liking girls, kwim? It seems it would easier in a way... I did try hypnotherapy and it didn't work, but I think the therapist did not approach things the right way - she was way too vague.----------- Btw, I don't think age has anything to do with it. I had a boy at age 36. Oh and btw again, he's perfect - I adore him... but the longing for a DD remains.