Help! Want to sway girl next year but cannot tell DH.

I have two beautiful lil boys and I would love to TTC a girl. My dh is on the fence about having another baby. He would think some of the gender swaying is crazy. Im afraid if I tell him I want to sway girl and we end up with a boy it would make things worse. Plus it would make it harder to try again for a girl. I would love a whole mess of kids.:) He is a wonderful daddy and husband hes just not big on change and wants our kiddos to have a blessed life. Anyways, I have saw a couple of posts where they didnt tell thier dh about swaying. Any advice? Ideas?

hi orange,

I totally know how you feel , my oh doesn't think swaying will work, he is extremely skeptical about it all, however it means so much to me that I sat him down and told him I needed him to get behind it, I need him to do it for me, this one thing he will do in his life because he knows how much I need it. He was extremely shocked and think it hit home so much that he agreed there and then, Maybe you could talk to your dh??

the thing is if you're going to sway then you need to really go for it as much as you can, there is no point doing one of the factors and not the other, you would both need to do the girl diet and take supps etc.

kate xx

Thank you Kate. I appreciate the encouragement. I am going to talk to him about it at some point but I want to wait until the right time. I guess I am so scared about what he is going to say or that he will refuse to try again at all. I am and will be patient and we will see what happens!

hi orange , i aggree you need him on side my dh was not too keen either but i said to him imagine how you would feel if we had 3 girls ?? he said he would not stop until we got a boy !! so i said there you go now you understand how i feel   a bit of reverse phyc lol  he is still not over happy about it but he totally understands now why i want to try

Thanks, yeah I dunno if the reverse phyc would work on him. He would have been happy with two girls lol! He is mainly scared of the financial aspect of having kids. He didnt have much growing up and he wants to be able to provide for them. Thats really important to him. But we have been super blessed. He has a wonderful job and when I had our 2nd ds I was able to quit my job to stay at home. Its still a sacrifice but we have enough. Our 2nd ds is an absolute angel (thank you babywise:))and my dh is so much more relaxed around him than he was with our first. (My first ds is an angel too but it was harder since he was our first ) He is an amazing dad and it has been awesome watching him. I am going to sit down with him and explain how important it is to have another baby and to try for a girl. I am going to wait until I am ready to ttc. In the meantime I am getting all the info and tools I need to make it my best sway. I am so glad I found in-gender and others who understand and are willing to help!

my DH also doesn't believe in swaying for religious reasons, i am becoming more conscious of my diet and i think he's beggining to notice :(

I swayed without my DH noticing, and I swayed HARD.  I did not tell, I just did it :)  And I am having a GIRL!!!! 

lovesorange88:

I have two beautiful lil boys and I would love to TTC a girl. My dh is on the fence about having another baby. He would think some of the gender swaying is crazy. Im afraid if I tell him I want to sway girl and we end up with a boy it would make things worse. Plus it would make it harder to try again for a girl. I would love a whole mess of kids.:) He is a wonderful daddy and husband hes just not big on change and wants our kiddos to have a blessed life. Anyways, I have saw a couple of posts where they didnt tell thier dh about swaying. Any advice? Ideas?

I'm somewhat in the same boat as you.
My dh doesn't believe in swaying at all. He knows I want a girl and said we can have 3 at the most but we aren't going to keep trying just so I get a girl. I have a couple different tactics I'm going to try to get my girl as a result.

I think sometimes men are skeptical because they're worried about how we'll react if the sway doesn't work. .. I know that's how my dh is looking at it. I've already told him I'm going to try aspects of the diet, etc. and see what happens. He doesn't know I'm testing PH and when the time comes closer he will notice that the meals I'm cooking for him are more girl friendly. .. I don't think he even remembers me telling him I wanted to try the diet though.

It really depends on your dh. Part of what I've been doing too is pointing out that salt is bad for blood pressure and so is caffeine. I give him a hard time about red meat too which I have gotten him to somewhat cut back on. He loves chicken so I just opt to cook more chicken than anything for suppers. He has a stressful job and his blood pressure is already near the high normal range so this doesn't look like it came from nowhere.  If I can find reasons for him to avoid certain things that aren't part of the girl diet that relate to his well being all around I am doing it. That way he'll be helping but may believe he's doing it for other reasons. Also it may be easier to convince him to eat more girl friendly foods if I start getting him to change certain habits now. .. at least I hope.

Just like I tell him no caffeine when we TTC as I found a study somewhere that showed that too much caffeine could possibly make it harder to conceive. What I'm hoping to do is when the time gets closer (I have 8 months still..) is to ask him to eat a certain way at home or try to avoid the caffeine, etc. at least until we're in 2WW. It can be his reward for going along with some of my requests.

I have 8 months to figure out which foods I can start incorporating into his diet for a while to replace the red meat and potatoes that he eats like they're going out of style. I'm hoping if I keep things varied he'll just think I'm going through an "expiremental" with cooking phase.

If we have another boy, then I will be sitting him down and asking him to sway with me. The wording will be something along the lines of "it might not work, but at least we can say we tried" "worst case scenario, it doesn't work" "this means a lot to me, do you think you could please just do this for me for a few weeks just to prove me wrong even?" or something like that and making sure I stress to him that I won't be too upset if it doesn't work because I'll know that I tried and obviously it wasn't meant to be for me at that point and I can accept that.

If he puts up resistance, I'll also be trying to ask something along the lines of "if you had a chance to do something minor to get a desired outcome on something, but didn't know if it would work. Would you not try anyway? If you didn't try wouldn't you always be wondering what if..?"
I think the "what if" part will get to him more than anything. It's like the lottery.. you can't win if you don't buy a ticket! The second round I will try without him and if that doesn't work then the third time I will make him aware. As long as he knows I won't act like it's the end of the world if things don't go the way I want them to..  I think he'd be open to it.

Good luck!!

When I was swaying for a boy last year I didn't tell DH either, I know he'd think it was insane, plus we didn't really TALK about the fact that we were TTCing (he wanted to just let things happen on their own but I wanted to sway so while he THINKS things "just happened" I was taking OPK's, temping/charting, etc, lol). I don't see an issue with it. GL and lots of pink dust!

Thanks BlondeShorty, I am also thinking of TTC in July and have been trying to use the time till then to prepare. We conceived both our boys in the winter months. Im going to try doing the opposite of what we did with them and see how it goes.

we swayed last baby for a boy and had another little girl so now DH is convinced the whole swaying idea is ridiculous. He is a farmer and thinks its a 50/50 chance with all animals............ so....in another year and a half we will be trying for the third child. lol. im already starting to chart ect so THIS time if it doesn't work i know we were just ment to have a pink house . there is NO WAY he will be on board with it next time. i will be swaying solo . if it works i will tell him and brag if it doesn't ill keep quiet lol I think of it as a little bit of fun for me , it keeps me occupied googling and reading this forum............and If he asks what im doing i say im getting to know my cycle so i know when and when not to use protection THAT works ;)