gd for 15 years!

hi ladies been reading your posts now for a few weeks didnt know that this site existed until i was looking up info on babys.well anyway i thought id let you all know my story.been a bit hard with hubby at home sitting right next to me seeing now hes gone to bed i feel abit more relaxed.cant talk to him about it and will never tell anyone except you all as you all understand.

well this is my story.i have four of a kind and even though i love them all i still feel "im missing out".it started when i had my last baby 15 years ago even though i wanted four children i was hoping that no.4 would be "the one".but it didnt happen the way i thought it would and always imagined that i would have the 2 different sexes when growing up.even though i have four of a kind i told my husband that i still wanted the last one even if it did turn out the same as the others.i dont regret having my last child at all am very happy i did.but what made things much harder for me was the fact people have to comment all the time.it rears its ugly head every now and then.i might add not as bad as it used to be but back years ago it was so hard!

after discovering the gender of baby no.4 i burst into tears at the hospital car park and my husband told me off.upon arrival to my inlaws place picking up the other kids they were minding my sil was there.i thought" great this is all i need an audience" i had to put on a brave face.i hadnt even got in the front door and my sil yelled out " its another ...isnt it'.i guess she could tell by my face.my parents inlaws were great  and said as long as the baby is healthy.i didnt talk to my husband for 2 days as i was devastated and he was getting pretty mad by then.so i kept it inside and didnt talk to anyone.my mother knew i  was down but she made matters worse even years later.

well a few months down the track that same sil was pregos too and she was booked in to have her feotal scan.i knew what day it was cause mil spilled the beans one day when visiting her.the day soon arrived and my phone would not stop ringing all afternoon i just knew it was my sil wanting to tell me what she was having and i knew it would be the desired gender i wanted.she just couldnt wait to rub it in.well i didnt answer the phone all day and waited for my hubby to come home.not long after he came home the phone rang again by this time she must have been bursting at the seams wondering where i was.hubby answered the phone and sure enough it was her."its a ..."she told my husband"oh thats good"he said.when he got off the phone i said to him "see i told you she would get what she wanted"he said "dont be like that".it might have sounded childish i know.but i wasnt going to answer the phone so she could rub it in to me i wasnt going to give her the satisfaction of having to tell me first.what did she want me to say or do? burst into tears so she could tell the whole family i think not.she asked my husband where had i been all day and that she tryed to ring me over and over again.i told my hubby that i didnt hear the phone ring.

my other sil told me upon finding out the sex of my last child that she would kill herself if she had another ....gender that i have."well dont get pregos if you feel that bad about it" i told her as you have a 50/50 chance both ways.she now has 3 grandchildren in the undesired sex and is dying for the other. i on the other hand have what grandchildren she does want so ladies what goes round comes round eventually.

my other sil has 4 children 2 of each.i told her im now glad i had all the same gender as i wouldve wanted 2 of the same sex had the last one been the opposite of what i had.she then piped up and said smuggly "well thats where im so lucky i have 2 of each"i then said back to her "that i would probably have 2 of each too had i had 4 kids to 4 dfferent fathers" that soon shut her up.some times its good to get your own back.

oh ladies i would recommend getting your tech to write down the sex if you want to know and put it in an envelope that way you can open it when you are ready.that way you dont have to face the music in front of anyone but yourself and deal with it in your own time.i wished i had done that 15 years ago!.

 

 Thanks for that advice.  I am pg with #3 after two boys and I'm panicked about the u/s cause I'm worried I will cry if it's another boy.  I'm still wondering how to prepare myself for finding out the gender.  I even considered not finding out but I don't want GD at birth.

Btw, I love the comment you said back to your sil, with the 2 of each.  I hate when people are so smug about it!

Sometimes my GD is so bad that I wish it was 15 years ago, so that I could start over again, but then of course I woulnt have my precious boys. I never told anyone I had a gender scan, so they couldnt bother me the same day at least. I went in by myself for 2nd and 3rd pregnancy and didnt speak to my husband those nights.....thats how he found out both times that another boy was on his way....only with the first my husband was in there with me....and when finding out about ds1, I was not sad, but scared already about never having a daughter, which eventually became reality for me.

i know where you are coming from. i had gd for 10 years. but we went on to have 7 daughters. all i ever wanted was a little boy. my first was a surprise and if any of you can stand not finding out i would wait for that delivery room surprise. its impossiable to be disappointed when they lay this tiny helpless thing in your arms. its like trying to cry while you eat chocolate pudding.. thats also impossiable. but like you said, had i done adoption or ht like i wanted to do years ago i wouldn't have my beautiful amazing daughters that have helped make me into the woman/mother i am today. so yes even though i was disappointed to hear "its another girl" i woudln't change it for the world.

 Its funny how life turns out....  If someone had told me a few years ago that I would have 3 children, let alone 3 girls, I would have laughed! I hadn't really expected anything other than the PP. I I count my blessings I have three healthy children though and love our family.  I really think it's other people expectations/comments/desires that make moving through GD difficult.   Bill69, I hope this site helps your journey through GD and that you can experience both genders via grandchildren :)