I just don't understand....

We found out today baby #4 is a boy. Again. Another boy. I feel like my husband just doesn't make girl sperm or something. I wanted a girl baby so badly. Dress her up in ruffles, tutu's, bows, sparkly mary janes. I feel like that will never happen for me. I've said that I would go up to #5 to get a girl. Well, I only have one more chance! Then what? Go for #6? And what if # 6 is a boy too? :( Adopt? What makes it worse is that I know my eggs can conceive girl children. I've donated my eggs twice- and of those two donations, three children have resulted. Two of those children were girls. I saw a picture of one of the girls when she was 2. She looked exactly like I did when I was that age. I couldn't help but think, "Oh, so that's what a girl version of me would look like...." (Not that I wanted that baby, because I didn't. I don't consider her to be my child, but it still kind of stung to see her picture.) How ironic is it that the only girl genetic offspring I have were conceived in a petri dish and were born to other women? Then I feel so guilty for being so upset about it. I get pregnant soooo easily. Like instantly. Twice I've gotten pregnant while actively preventing. Shouldn't I just be happy for a baby? Happy I don't have to struggle with infertility? But I don't feel grateful for that, to be honest. I guess that's my own hang-up. I hope I get over it before the baby is born. It's not fair that he has a mom who is just "ho-hum" about his arrival. I don't even feel like telling my family or anything. Everyone is going to be disappointed. All of the grandchildren have been boys so far. I feel like people aren't really going to care. Just another boy- kind of like getting a new puppy or something. My mom tells me that at least in China they'd be happy with my track record. That doesn't make me feel any better, by the way. I just feel like there's something wrong with me, that I can't conceive a girl child. And then I feel guilty for even caring, if that makes any sense.

Sorry, I thought I was putting spaces in between and making paragraphs but it all got put together.

 So sorry you didn't hear girl   I completely agree that knowing I have somebody else's dream family or gender doesn't make me feel any better. Is there any way you could try HT for #5?

Thanks for your reply. I don't have a lot of people I can talk to about it IRL, so it's nice to know that there are other women out there who experience GD. I dont' think my husband would want to spend the money to go HT. He sees no problem with a house full of boys. I DO think he might be willing to go as far as Ericcson, though. I actually have looked into it before, but I couldn't find a place that does it in the SouthEast. If anyone knows of any clinic in the SE USA that does Ericcson, I'd love to hear about it!

if you have to have a girl that badly i wouldn't risk it. go ht or adoption. you might end up with 7 or 8 boys. i heard girl 7 times so far despite swaying.

   on the other hand as a mom with a house full of girl i won't lie having a daughter is wonderful just like having a son is. now that i have both i can honestly say i don't see a difference. the dress's are cute and yes i love the little headbands but babies pull them out. so they don't stay in for very long. yes dresses are cute but babies can't crawl in them then baby falls on her face and scratches herself then you have that cute baby with the black eye and everyone stares at you like you punched her in the face. mine walks now but i won't put her in dresses because she rips off her diaper and plays with whatever is in there. then you have that stinky/gross baby who eats her own poop. and again people look at you funny. right now my oldest is 12 and we are going through pre-teen drama. im telling you, i love her but everything is ticking her off, we all live on eggshells right now. so yes they are cute and girly from 2-5. at 5 they start putting frogs in their pockets and making bug habitats. my 2 year old is a ninja ballerina she tells me. she put on a tutu and a huge bow but she runs around and says Hi -ya! and ninja kicks us. not much of a difference from boys i would guess. good luck with whatever you decide and congrats on your new baby!

Don't loose hope me an my husband produced 4 DSs and we are now expecting our first DD I do have an older DS w a previous relationship so 5 boys all tog now my DD...I swayed faithfully for a full 6 mos before I was satisfied my ph was low enough..I know exactly how you feel it took me 5 years to attempt this again it's was a tough decision but glad I did it now....

I can totally understand your feelings. It must be awful to know that you can have girls but unable to have them yourself. Still, I would love to have a house full to boys. Give yourself time, and maybe discuss adoption with your husband.

I really feel for you Honey, we too had 4 boys, before some hard swaying which finally produced our DD.  I am sure it is extremely unlikely your husband has no girl sperm- I used to think exactly the same thing!  I cannot imagine what it would feel like to have 2 biological daughters through egg donation.   That was amazingly generous of you, but I can see how it would be adding to your GD.  I agree with New Baby- if HT is at all an option, I would do that!!  We are in Australia so we couldn't.  If HT is not an option, maybe really slow down and take your time with the next conception and do a really hard-core girl sway?  I hope myself and the other poster can give you reassurance that it certainly IS possible to conceive a girl after lots of boys!  Good Luck Honey!!!

I'm so sorry...I know just exactly what you are going through. Exactly. I didn't know what to do after my 4th son was born. Part of me just wanted to stop trying because I didn't want to end up with boy number 5 and another part just wanted to keep going and going till my little girl came along. High-tech wasn't really an option for us. While thinking about it, I decided to just 'start' swaying, just to ease myself into a hard-core sway. So I stopped eating cereal, bananas, added calcium and probiotics to my diet, little things like that. When I ended up pregnant by accident, it was a total shock to me and I was upset that it happened before my 'proper sway'. What I HAD to do, with God's help, was just let go of the 'gender desire' I had because otherwise I would have gone crazy with panic. And thankfully, God gave me peace. I cancelled my 'gender scan' and just waited till birth. It helps to keep in mind that we have the children was are meant to have, no matter what is between their legs. Baby number 5 was in fact a little girl. There is hope!!! I NEVER EVER EVER thought it would happen for me, never!!! I was sure I would end up with all boys because a daughter was what I wanted more than anything in the entire world. And by your post, I can tell you feel the same. If I were you, I would not give up. You don't want to have any regrets. No sway is 100%, so you'll need to be prepared for another boy. But to be honest, you'll never regret the kids you have, just the ones you DON'T!! And there are loads and loads of girls needing homes if you want the absolute guarantee of a daughter (Although if you are like me, I really wanted to experience giving birth to my own daughter). I'm not sure about Ericson...I think if I read correctly, it is more successful for conceiving boys?? Apparently, Microsort is the better option but I could have heard that wrong. Anyways, congratulations on your little boy (my 4th little boy, the one I was so depressed about having, was the ultimate best baby in the whole world-it's as if he tried to be on his best behavior from birth so that he wouldn't upset me in anyway)!! And all the best for the future xx