If you got your DG..

Luisa:

I think you are right about that, I sure hope so. (nobody cares but you) Because it´s really feels like everybody else DOES cares! We was visiting our friends last night and they have one girl and one boy. The dad of the family said me (holding he´s little girl in his arms) "Would´t you like to have a little girl like this?" It was awful, I have been feeling better with my GD, but after that comment I did break again :( Can it really bee like that? That nobody cares? It feels like they do. It feels like we fail on something that everybody else not.

This was for Newbaby

Canadianttc#4:

This would be my goal. Helping others realize their dream of their DG CAN and does come true. 

I'm here for the exact opposite reason. Even though I am over my GD I still try to hang around to show other moms that you can realize your dream of being happy with your family even without getting your DG. It is possible to move on to enjoy the children you've got and not only be content but truly happy with your family make up. It DOES and CAN happen (easier for some than others) but GD doesn't have to be a life sentence and getting your DG isn't the only cure.

i think some people have gd because of other people's comments. sometimes those comments can sting just like a slap or a punch to the stomach. "are you going to try again for a boy?" "whats the bother you know its just another girl." "you're poor son-less husband, surrounded by all those girls."

      i bet its just as bad for boy moms "don't you want a daughter of your own?" "poor thing.. so many boys." its those little seeds that get planted in your head and they grow and grow until they explode. people need to back off one gender moms. if they feel that strongly about it tell them to pay for the ht costs. lol

   but really once i got that boy everyone was telling me i needed so much, nobody cared. of course i do have 6 children now. so everyone was just like "again" maybe if i only had one or two girls people would have reacted differently. but honestly those nurses at the hospital don't care. they doted on my son even though that nursry was full of boys. our first day he was one of 5 boys born. the next day there were 2 girls added in. the third day when we got readmitted, he was the only baby there so of course he got all the attention. they just wanted to do their jobs and make sure he was healthy, i don't think they get special hospital treatment because of their gender.

Southern Butterfly:

Canadianttc#4:

This would be my goal. Helping others realize their dream of their DG CAN and does come true. 

I'm here for the exact opposite reason. Even though I am over my GD I still try to hang around to show other moms that you can realize your dream of being happy with your family even without getting your DG. It is possible to move on to enjoy the children you've got and not only be content but truly happy with your family make up. It DOES and CAN happen (easier for some than others) but GD doesn't have to be a life sentence and getting your DG isn't the only cure.

 

 

 

 When I had GD seeing others that got their DG REALLY helped me...it showed it was possible...it made me feel sane...and I hope maybe sometimes my advice can help others in the same way.

When I did get my DG I didn't come here for a bit but I wondered about woman that I had got to know and how they were doing, so I came back to see (like seeing newbabys wonderful news )

And when I am on line I just end up reading other posts.

I did take my siggie off as I feel some woman would indeed wonder why I am here...and those that know me know that I would never want to piss anyone off, I remember how awful that time in my life was, and I still really feel the pain of others.

GD is something that has affected the way I view people deeply. I feel I have more compassion for what the average woman MAY be going through ..and I spose part of me still feels joined to it...

I hope this makes sense...

OP here: I see it this way. Let's say there was a forum for people disappointed that they lost the ability to walk. Perhaps there will be people on that forum who are able to walk again. They can stay and say, I know what it feels like to think you will never walk again, let me help you with your pain. For people who think they will never walk again, and those who absolutely know they will never walk again, it is hard to feel like they can relate to that person who has gotten their "dream". It is false hope to believe that everyone will be successful.

And here is where I see the solution...

In my months posting in this forum I can honestly say that the only people who can really help me get over my GD are people who have gotten over their GD without getting their DG. It shows me that YES," you can be happy never getting your DG". It is a much healthier message than, "don't give up on your dream it can happen!" Because that only increases the pain and obsession. Healing comes with accepting where you are. I think getting your DG before healing from you GD can cause a lot of mixed emotions.

Thank you to Canadianttc#4 and others who show us struggling that everything can be okay with what you have. (I'm am not telling anyone that they are not welcome, just sharing my opinion. We can be happy for you that you got your DG)

cowbell:

OP here: I see it this way. Let's say there was a forum for people disappointed that they lost the ability to walk. Perhaps there will be people on that forum who are able to walk again. They can stay and say, I know what it feels like to think you will never walk again, let me help you with your pain. For people who think they will never walk again, and those who absolutely know they will never walk again, it is hard to feel like they can relate to that person who has gotten their "dream". It is false hope to believe that everyone will be successful.

And here is where I see the solution...

In my months posting in this forum I can honestly say that the only people who can really help me get over my GD are people who have gotten over their GD without getting their DG. It shows me that YES," you can be happy never getting your DG". It is a much healthier message than, "don't give up on your dream it can happen!" Because that only increases the pain and obsession. Healing comes with accepting where you are. I think getting your DG before healing from you GD can cause a lot of mixed emotions.

Thank you to Canadianttc#4 and others who show us struggling that everything can be okay with what you have. (I'm am not telling anyone that they are not welcome, just sharing my opinion. We can be happy for you that you got your DG)

  Very well put, thank you.

Southern Butterfly:

cowbell:

OP here: I see it this way. Let's say there was a forum for people disappointed that they lost the ability to walk. Perhaps there will be people on that forum who are able to walk again. They can stay and say, I know what it feels like to think you will never walk again, let me help you with your pain. For people who think they will never walk again, and those who absolutely know they will never walk again, it is hard to feel like they can relate to that person who has gotten their "dream". It is false hope to believe that everyone will be successful.

And here is where I see the solution...

In my months posting in this forum I can honestly say that the only people who can really help me get over my GD are people who have gotten over their GD without getting their DG. It shows me that YES," you can be happy never getting your DG". It is a much healthier message than, "don't give up on your dream it can happen!" Because that only increases the pain and obsession. Healing comes with accepting where you are. I think getting your DG before healing from you GD can cause a lot of mixed emotions.

Thank you to Canadianttc#4 and others who show us struggling that everything can be okay with what you have. (I'm am not telling anyone that they are not welcome, just sharing my opinion. We can be happy for you that you got your DG)

  Very well put, thank you.

That was supposed to say YOU not Canadianttc#4. Thank you Southern Butterfly!

cowbell:

OP here: I see it this way. Let's say there was a forum for people disappointed that they lost the ability to walk. Perhaps there will be people on that forum who are able to walk again. They can stay and say, I know what it feels like to think you will never walk again, let me help you with your pain. For people who think they will never walk again, and those who absolutely know they will never walk again, it is hard to feel like they can relate to that person who has gotten their "dream". It is false hope to believe that everyone will be successful.

And here is where I see the solution...

In my months posting in this forum I can honestly say that the only people who can really help me get over my GD are people who have gotten over their GD without getting their DG. It shows me that YES," you can be happy never getting your DG". It is a much healthier message than, "don't give up on your dream it can happen!" Because that only increases the pain and obsession. Healing comes with accepting where you are. I think getting your DG before healing from you GD can cause a lot of mixed emotions.

Thank you to Canadianttc#4 and others who show us struggling that everything can be okay with what you have. (I'm am not telling anyone that they are not welcome, just sharing my opinion. We can be happy for you that you got your DG)

Love this.

 I see your point but I guess the fact of the matter is that this is a public forum and anybody is welcome to use it to help themselves or others in anyway they see fit. What may offend you might help someone else, what may make one person angry may really resonate with someone else, and if something someone says or does or has can help even just one person isnt that the point of this gender disappointment forum? I think this forum is wonderful. Even though it can be full of sadness at times or can spark big debates I am so grateful for it. I have read it for years and have loved bearing witness to other peoples journeys. I am grateful to read of people getting their DG and still sticking around to be there for others. You form a kind of relationship with certain people on forums like this when you find you have something in common or are going through the same thing together and that is priceless in my opinion because its not always that easy to do in real life. At the end of the day if people dont like to read the positive and hopeful stories as they feel it gives false hope then they dont have to, you can pick and choose which threads you want to read and which ones hit home with you. That the beauty of this whole thing! I for one am grateful for all of them.

I got my DG last year, and I definitely don't frequent this board as much as I used to.

I do check in every once in a while though, because I made connections here with people when I was struggling through my GD, and I found so much comfort and support from this group when I needed it most.  My heart still really goes out to the people in the middle of GD, because I DO understand their pain.  However, I always hesitate to reply now as well, cause I want to be sensitive to the people still hurting too.  It's a tough call sometimes, because each of us has different triggers that set off the GD emotions.  Some people find hope in seeing someone with a similar family make-up finally getting their DG, and some just find it impossible to believe it could ever happen for them. 

I'm not sure when this place will become a distant memory for me though, cause even though I don't need it for my own support now, I still feel very connected to people who have GD just because of where I've been in my past.  And I can't help but want to return the support when I can just because I know that's what got me through my rough days too.

cowbell:

OP here: I see it this way. Let's say there was a forum for people disappointed that they lost the ability to walk. Perhaps there will be people on that forum who are able to walk again. They can stay and say, I know what it feels like to think you will never walk again, let me help you with your pain. For people who think they will never walk again, and those who absolutely know they will never walk again, it is hard to feel like they can relate to that person who has gotten their "dream". It is false hope to believe that everyone will be successful.

And here is where I see the solution...

In my months posting in this forum I can honestly say that the only people who can really help me get over my GD are people who have gotten over their GD without getting their DG. It shows me that YES," you can be happy never getting your DG". It is a much healthier message than, "don't give up on your dream it can happen!" Because that only increases the pain and obsession. Healing comes with accepting where you are. I think getting your DG before healing from you GD can cause a lot of mixed emotions.

Thank you to Canadianttc#4 and others who show us struggling that everything can be okay with what you have. (I'm am not telling anyone that they are not welcome, just sharing my opinion. We can be happy for you that you got your DG)

 

I agree, for the most part. I had fleeting GD with #1 and posted a few times on the BBC GD board. Of course there was the "next time" and stuff, probably why my GD wasn't bad. I had about .5 second GD with #2 and never visited any boards. This baby is my GD baby. I don't know if there will be a next time, but most likely not. I think there is a place to give hope to some posters if they don't yet know the gender but know they will get GD, or know they want more kids.

I also think there's a huge difference between posting at this website and on THIS particular board. A lot of posters seem to help with the ultrasound or sway info. That's great and helpful but they're not really posting much on the GD board unless something happens to get posted here about it. 

There are posters who don't quite seem like they relate anymore and post as though getting your DG is nbd anyway. I guess that may be helpful to some people to think like that, but not me. I'm glad if it does help others though. 

(Just because a person can say whatever they want because it's a public forum doesn't mean they should) 

 

MunkyCrazy:

Southern Butterfly:

Canadianttc#4:

This would be my goal. Helping others realize their dream of their DG CAN and does come true. 

I'm here for the exact opposite reason. Even though I am over my GD I still try to hang around to show other moms that you can realize your dream of being happy with your family even without getting your DG. It is possible to move on to enjoy the children you've got and not only be content but truly happy with your family make up. It DOES and CAN happen (easier for some than others) but GD doesn't have to be a life sentence and getting your DG isn't the only cure.

 

 

 

I just wanted to add - I also agree that life doesn't have to be all GD. Many many ppl don't get their DG. I accepted life as what it was before my DG too.

I was asking myself the very same question........and if ds 3 had been a girl maybe I wouldnt have been back here, but now I know GD will always be a part of me even if number 4 will ever come along and turn out to be a girl "oh lord please"...... It may sound stupid to compare, but an alcoholic will always be an alcoholic even if he or she doesnt drink anymore...this phase of their lives is always present. I feel the same with GD. If I finally had my DG, I would always be scared to lose her again. I would always worry that this is too good to be true. I will never be able to be at ease like other women who so easily had mixed genders. However, everybody has to fight a battle in life. Mine is GD and that is why I will always come back here.

DELETED