If you have all boys and spending time with someone else's little girl every so often-is that enough for you? or do you still want a daughter of your own?

I've been thinking about this every so often. I have 2 sons and although my gender disappointment has gotten better (I think? lol), I do still think about a daughter every so often and crave to do things with a little girl. I would just love to brush a little girl's long, pretty hair and braid it and put cute little bows in her hair, just something simple like that would excite me! Sadly, I don't have any little girls to really do this with. I don't have any nieces on either side of the family. There are a few neighborhood girls that my son plays with but they might think I'm a weirdo for wanting to play with their daughter's hair and spend time with them? Anyways, if you do have a little girl in your life that isn't your daughter, if you do spend time with her, do you feel like that is enough? Does it satisfy your craving to want a daughter of your own or after the time is spent with that little girl, do you still feel a bit sad to have to give her back to whomever and you feel that spending time with someone else's girl still isn't enough, it's still not the same as having a daughter of your own?

That's a tricky question. When I was 18 (I'm 35 now), I was a preschool teacher who "inherited" a little boy, who also turned out to be a neighbor's kid. My roomate/bestfriend and I took him under our wings and took him everywhere with us. He was the first child I truly felt love for and felt sort of like a mother to. I was a part of his life for about 5 solid years until I moved to Michigan. I was so sad to leave him, but still to this day I want to name my little boy (although it looks like I won't ever have one lol) after him. So, I guess my answer is yes and no. If you are around girls you feel very close to forever then yes and if not, I'm not so sure. I have only one nephew and he was the first and the rest are girls in my family. I felt so very attached to my nephew when he was born as this was shortly after the time I first moved to Michigan and he filled that void from missing the little boy I cared for back at home so much. He helps fill the void of not having a son for sure even to this day for me.

 It does help me to spend time with girls. Even short encounters bring me some peace. For example I went to a birthday party a few weeks ago and there was only one little girl there out of the 10 or so kids attending. For some reason she kind of latched on to me and stayed by my side helping me with my baby. She was so sweet, It was nice.

As your boys get older and start playing with more kids in the neighborhood I'm sure more opportunities to get to know some girls will happen naturally. We have several girls who are always ringing the bell to play with my kids. And someday when my kids date I will hopefully get to know any girls they bring home. And someday, granddaughters! It didn't used to seem like it would be enough, but it's starting to feel that way more and more.

I am on the opposite end of the spectrum. The more time I spend with little girls and seeing little girl stuff and playing with little girls, the more my heart aches for my own daughter. It's so painful to see beautiful little girls dressed in girly pink things (especially Hello Kitty and princess stuff) and playing with dolls and tea sets and reading the princess fairy tales. When I feel sad about not having a daughter, my husband always says "you have nieces etc to play with" and I always snap back "and they're not *MY* daughters!!" I wish he wouldn't say that, it's always so hurtful when he does. Sometimes I wonder if he gets my GD. It's not the same and it never will be. They will never call me "Mommy" and I won't wake up to their sweet little faces and big hugs and kisses every morning. Their lucky moms do. So no, spending time with other little girls only makes the pain worse for me.

I know all children are different and this is probably not any consolation but I have a daughter and to be truly honest the thing I hate most in my day is getting my daughter dressed and her hair done. Yes when she was a baby I loved dressing her up in pink and all the flower hair bands etc. But each and every morning its a good 20 min struggle to have her dressed appropriately as she will refuse most things I suggest. I usually have to threaten to leave the house without her before she'll comply. The hair is also a huge issue and alot of times she will pull out the hairdo I've just done and if shes not satisfied!! Thats an issue I can't see happening with my son (Thank God!)! 

On the other hand I have 3 beautiful nieces who I adore ever so dearly. Whenever I see them they always want to play dress up's with my clothes etc and get into my jewellery...its so much fun. I get so much pleasure in doing girly things with them. My daughter and I enjoy doing craft and reading books, playdo, just 'kid things' not specific to being 'girly' at all.

 ^I don't know, but they say having your own kid is much different from when you spend time with other ppl's kids.

Seb2011:

They will never call me "Mommy" and I won't wake up to their sweet little faces and big hugs and kisses every morning. Their lucky moms do.

 

 Well don't you have a son who can be just like that? That scenario you mentioned does not apply to only girls but to all kids, boy AND girl! And you are also as lucky as well, just to a different gender.

 

 

 From my experience no...It makes me want my own little girl even more...And I absolutly love this little girl. I am a mother of two boys and a step mom of 3 boys and one girl. I love spending time with her doing her hair all of it..but I didnt get to start her life off with her..hold her when she was an infant...and to top it all off...as much as she looks like her daddy...i see her mom and i hate her mom soooo much...i hate what her mom has done to them and done to me and to my dh but i do love her...and always will...shes beautiful and almost fulfills all the girl dreams..but it is just not the same for me..maybe it is because it is my step daughter and I entered her life when she was older..i think might been different if id been in picture shortly after she was born..gotten that special bond with her then... Our bond is strong now it really is but it just isnt the same..makes me sad actaully....makes me sad because i will never fully know that feeling...and it makes me even sadder because her mom had two more girls and stole my baby girl names...so now i get to hear my dream names all the time....and it stings soooo bad..like shes rubbing it in that she took them from me and i will never have a girl...so for me..no..i still need/want my own little girl...love to death my boys all of them and love to death his little girl..but it just is not the same...

The point of my post was to illustrate that spending time with little girls doesn't make me not want my own daughter, it makes me want one even more. While I love to play with my nieces and the other little girls in my life, they belong to someone else, not me. At the end of the day they go home to their mothers because they are not my daughters. So no they won't call me Mommy and I won't wake up to their sweet little faces and get hugs and kisses from them every morning because, as I said before, they're not mine.

I want my own daughter I can share my life with, not borrow someone else's for a few hours. While some people may find dressing a girl a chore, one of the greatest joys in my life would be dressing my daughter and fixing her pretty hair in the mornings. I would love to take her and my Mom to lunch and take her shopping for cute girl clothes and dolls and get our hair and nails done together at the salon, all 3 of us. Those are some of my fondest memories with my Mom. I really hope that my HT dreams will come true some day and the little girl I'm dreaming of will be in my arms soon, and in enough time for me to enjoy her with my own mother too.

I too found the more time I spent with girls the more I wanted one of my own...I have 5 handsome lovable kissable little boys but every time I saw a little girl I just ached for one of my own... I really want my husband to experience the daddy daughter relationship and I too want to go shopping get our nails done etc.. Like I do now my moms like my bf and my brothers well not so much are into mommy anymore noe that they have wives lol.. I'm pg w my DD now and cant wait to meet her in Oct.. :)) I am excited and nervous.. But yes seeing and spending w other Lil girls is what made me beg my DH to try one last time for our DD..

Yeah, I don't know if having a niece (if I ever have one) or borrowing someone else's daughter would be enough for me. Like a few people had said, it's just not the same as having your own daughter. You didn't give birth to that little girl and raise her from the beginning and get to to experience all of the little milestones along the way. Sometimes little things I witness really get to me like I went to get a pedicure the other day and I ran into a lady I know and her daughter there. They were having some mother/daughter time, how nice! but it dawned on me that I might never get to do that with a daughter. I guess I could go with one of my girlfriends but it still would not be the same. I feel sad about missing out on things like that and stuff only Moms and Daughters get to share. I really don't think my sons would want to go with me to get our nails done;-) I really wish I could just be totally happy with the family that I have and stop wondering about a little girl.

 I'm having my first, and due to my age, probably my only, and am hoping for a girl but if it's a boy, I'm thinking of volunteering with a local girl scout troop or maybe as a big sister.