Just one More try.....

Why does it always seem like you constantly see everyone with 1 more kid than you finally getting the gender you want.  I just found out today that my good friend who also had 5 boys (she had her 5th the same time I had my 4th), is now expecting a girl for #6.  I also just watched a Baby Story the other day with a woman who had 5 boys and was having a girl for #6, and I cried all the way through the show.  It just seems like the universe is taunting me, "if you have 1 more you'll get a girl!" Even though I know that isn't a gaurantee at all.  I'm just frustrated because if it weren't for the horrific morning sickness that I have, and finances I would be ok with having another, but under the circumstances I feel like it's just not even an option, which makes me really sad.  I feel like I will always wonder "what if I'd had 1 more, then maybe I would have been lucky too and had a daughter".  I'm really happy for my friend but it's making me so sad.  I don't think it's helping that I'm due any day and am a huge hormonal mess.  I hate this. 

we had 7 girls and 3 miscarriges. my doctor swore to me its 50/50 everytime no matter what we do. my boy sways failed and now my girl sway failed. maybe sway boy? lol

Hmmm I think when you're in the pregnancy/baby zone you focus on it way more...if you allowed yourself a couple of years, no matter how hard they are, you may find at the end of it you not really as bothered as you think you are. This baby was kind of an accident, well we werent not trying but before I was pregnant with him it didn't bother me hugely that I would jus have my 2 boys...it was only once I got pregnant that I became obsessed and I know I'll get back to feeling that way. I think at some point you have to move on with your life or accept that you whole life is going to be focused on one thing. Have to say, I don't want to spend my whole life on having babies, there ae so many other things out there that can bring happiness so there is absolutely no way we will have another baby, even if it was a guarenteed girl as I just want to move on and give the 3 I have the best I can. But everyone's different and if you feel happy to devote so much of your life to it then that's what you have to do I suppose. I don't think it's a decision you can really make when you're pregnant or with a newborn though as all around you, you are confronted with reminders of the daughter you don't have from other babies to clothes shops etc...I think the starts to wear off as the children get older. I've realised recently that one thing I really like about being just a boy mum is that I makes me more girly...I had painted my toe nails the other day and my friend that just has girls commented how she wouldn't think to use the colours I had and how nice that looked etc and we came to the conclusion that it's probably because anything ultra girly makes her think of her daughters rather than being suitable for her. I like finding positives like that. I know it's not the same but when you see somebody dedicating their life to having just one biological baby, sometimes you see that weight taken off their shoulders when they finally make the decision to stop trying and maybe try the adoption route etc. Good luck with what you decide x

 I see that too but that I just remember that I only want three kids.  That's all we can financially handle now and we live in an apartment. Even if I had a third boy and was garaunteed a girl for the 4th I still don't know if I'd go for it.  I think everyone knows the perfect family size for them no matter what the gender.

My in-laws' friends had three girls and decided to just try one more time for a boy.  They got another girl so I guess it's not a guarantee.

That's the silly thing, I know I'm done.  I've spent my entire pg being 100% convinced that I'm done and that has made me really happy.  I'm not sure why this is throwing me for such a loop.  It's probably the fact that I'm about to give birth any day, and that this particular friend is someone I was very close to, we shared our GD with each other and were very open about it, and she actually had said she was done after #5, so in my head I just expected her to always be my friend that also has 5 boys.  So then I was really surprised when her husband talked her into trying for 1 more, and now it ends up being a girl finally.  I'm really happy for her, but I think it's brough back that reminder of how I would feel if I finally was expecting a girl.  She posted pics last night of the cute girly clothes she went out and bought after her US, and I just think of how much I wanted that to be me these last 2 pregnancies.  I do know that once you get out of the pg/baby stage it really is sooo much easier and the obsession goes away.  I was really in a great place with it before I got pg with this baby, so I know I'll get there again.  I'm just letting myself be sad for a moment

I agree with the other poster... It's so much easier to think of trying again when pg or in the pp period because you are constantly thinking of babies plus the hormonal urges.. However I am going to be done. I'm too old finances are tight. Also I hear so many stories of people trying one more time and getting the same gender. Also what if I tried one more time and ended up with a baby with genetic defects bc my eggs are too old? Part of me thinks I shouldn't risk it just bc I want a boy