Thanks so much ladies for the insightful posts. I can relate to a lot of what was written. I guess what worried me is sometimes reading about moms on here who have holes in their hearts for years and years about not having their DG. I just really don't want to be bitter and sad my whole life. I know time heals a lot of wounds, but as I said initially, I hope that when the cute factor of little kids is gone, the GD will be less overwhelming in itself - some of your posts give me hope on that front! Of course, that doesn't prevent me from hoping for a grand-daughter one day, and a nice DIL I can be close to!
------------------------------Winter: Your post was comforting to read and I hope to be able to write a similar post in a couple years. I'm also a lot more bothered by very beautiful little girls, or ones I find look like me when I was their age (I know, it sounds pretentious, but I can't help it!)! You describe exactly what my rational side thinks so I'm really hoping my emotional side catches up asap once DS2 arrives. What you mention about stereotypes is true. I also know girls/women who are not close to their moms while their brothers are. I don't want to waste my time either obsessing about what I don't have - it is just so draining. I want to focus on how cute, sweet and smart my boys ARE, not on how a DD of mine COULD be, or on how so and so's DD is. Of course, I know I'll never be as 100% at peace with this as the people who have their "dream" family... but I'm hoping, say, 90% at peace to able to move forward.
_________________I think it also has a lot to do with how narrowly some women define themselves, esp. SAHMs. We define ourselves by our kids, our families, and I believe that contributes to the gender obsession. It's like our whole identities revolve around our kids, their genders, their achievements, how they look, how they act, etc... But how do people without children find fulfilment, happiness? Career, friends, hobbies, travels, home decoration, sports, working out, etc... Those are areas I know I need to work on to shift the focus from me = only my kids. We need to have projects outside of our families. Ex: I'd like to lose weight and get back in shape after baby, I love to plan trips and vacations, I like my part-time business and can develop that, I'm into home decoration a lot, music/singing, etc.... And as a pp noted, once I decide that the family is complete, no more kids, which is what I anticipate after DS2 is born, then I also feel it will be easier to move on ... I hope anyhow.