More stupid comments

Its funny that I just commented on this last night on here because today a good friend of mine(3 of my good friends know Im swaying) asked what I was doing, when I told her I was eating a snack, she said"is that for your sway stuff?..Wouldnt it be so funny if you do all this and then get a boy?hahaha" If I could have reached through the phone I think I would have! I am trying to think positive but also prepare myself to be excited for a boy so I dont feel as much of the GD that I did with our DS2..this came from a girl who has 1 boy,1 girl, and it done, she says she got lucky, with one of each and is happy( she also gets to dress her little girl in pretty little flower sundresses and sandles, which Mady was wearing at my house today), so to me I dont think she understands my thoughts on this process..Oh well, I guess..Im sorry if I sound mean about it, I dont mean to

From the moment I was pregnant everyone said this has to be a girl, because I already had a ds.  18 week scan, yeahhh it is a girl.......20week scan, oh no this is def a boy!  Now everyone is acting like I had a frieken miscarriage!  I am so sorry to hear it is a boy....maybe there is a girl in there too.  You better not get your tubes tied so you can try for that girl.  Offering me condolences on my healthy baby boy!!  How rude!  As if I am not heart broken already to hear girl and then have it taken away!  I even get the occassional comment, you better keep some girl outfits because it may just come out a girl.  It is like hellloooo did you see the penis shot, i'd like to smack it in there face, but I smile, nod and walk away.  The stupid comments are endless.  I wish my Grandmother was around she had 4 boys and I would love to know if she got the same stupidity comments.  Do people not get if it was that easy to choose a gender we would ALL have the family of our dreams, whether it be a mixed gender or same gender????? 

I totally agree Jen!  Congrats on your baby boy by the way!!! And for the record, I was so upset with our DS2, I was convinced he was a girl from the start:( But after seeing the relationship my sons have, I wouldnt change him for the world, my oldest keeps praying for a baby sister, but we've been talking and he said hed love a brother just as much as he loves his brother now, so Im not worried, I am pretty worried about my reaction b/c I just feel worse for feeling bad, its a vicious cycle, it did help me when we finally picked a name and bought his crib set and things, I promise you, you will love having your 2 boys, and them having eachother

 They never end :P People have no filter

CountCatula:

islandmeadow I'm going to take your approach , honestly gals why do we take this crap from people??? let's start defending our families. Why do people have the nerve to make negative comments about our children? We have to stop politely nodding and just let them have a piece of our mind, I swear the next MOFO that says something negative about my girls is going to get, I'm sick of being polite to unevolved neanderthals. peace out.

 

 

Yes!  It's time we all ban together against the ignorant masses!!!  

 

Maybe if we point out how literally disrespectful these comments are right to these people's faces, then just maybe, they would realize that when they are in doubt, they should shut their mouth.  

 

The only thing stopping me is that quote that goes something like: "never argue with an idiot, because people watching might not be able to tell the difference"   LOL.  J/K  I'll risk looking like an idiot to calmly explain to someone the error of their ways.  

 

JJ89:

 Honestly at first I couldn't understand how this post triggers GD since you already have a girl? Not to offend or anything, just wondering. If someone said the opposite "at least you have a boy", would you feel similar?

Serenity:

I dont understand why people are so rude when it comes to boys. It truly makes me sad. I adore boys ( and girls!!) and all kids are special.If you have a family of all one gender or different genders no one should make rude comments because all kids are great.

Same here. I realize now that both genders get it, but personally I find it mostly among boys.

Hmm, it didn't really trigger GD, it just rained on my parade and was a terribly stupid thing for someone to say and it made me sad and feel guilty that I wasn't ALWAYS excited about DS2. The point of my post is that it doesn't matter what you have, people say dumb things regardless. For me, my feelings regarding gender disappointment involve the guilt of ever even having those feelings. Whenever someone makes a comment to me regarding having boys, it does make me feel badly as I remember when I would have agreed with them, and felt the same - and yes, I did want daughters and yes, obviously, I love my sons and the reality of GD is that it doesn't "poof" magically disappear, you remember it and it sucks that it was ever a part of your life. Or that it comes and goes when you still want something you very likely aren't going to get (like your "ideal" family make up, which for me, would be another daughter). And yes, for the record, having sons has been far more awesome then I ever imagined prior to having children.

Thank you Luvcole!  I am glad someone else felt the same as me!  I hear nice stories of good bonding brothers and I hear other horror stories that they hate each other etc!  I am already thinking of how I could conceive a girl and ds2 is not even here yet!  It is just a hard pill to swallow since literally I am the only person in my friend and family circle who will not have a girl.  95% of my friends have the one of each and the others have 2 girls.  I did do some shopping today and I hope I will get out of this funk and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy! 

Jen, we must lead similar lives then!Lol... my best friend lives beside me and has 2 girls(my god-daughters), and most of my friends have only 2, ethey are split between one of each gender or 2 of the same, but I wasnt even done my pregnancy with DS2 before I was planning on trying again( when we started having kids, I said"1 is enough", then "lets try for a girl, 1 of each, then we're done" even before I found out DS2 was a boy, I tolld people, "if this is a boy, Im just meant to have boys, Im still done".. but a friend introduced me to sway, she had her little girl( just months before I had DS2 ) by swaying, so by the end of my pregnancy I wanted to try agin, I just had to wait until DS2 was old enough, and DH was somewhat ready,hehe..I love my god-daughters, doing their hair, and makeup and picking out clothes for a special occasion(theyre mom, isnt good with that, so she lets me help them) but its still not the same as your own, you know?..So Im going to try one more time, doing everything I can to help a little girl along, if we still have a boy, Im hoping that I will know that he was truely meant to be, but I still worry about having alittle GD

P.S. I'm sure if you ask my boys when they are teenagers in about 10 years if they love eachother they would say no, but as long asd I can help them love eachother later in life once all the hormones calm down, thats all I want, and to me it doesnt matter if we have a DD or DS this last time, either way in about 10 years, they will have their spats,lol..Thats my thinking anyway

I am in the same or similar situation as you...I have a boy and a girl and I am going to be having another boy in about 8 weeks. I too wanted another girl and sometimes feel sad that I will never have "sisters" or two girls to dress alike, but I love this little man with all of my heart and I know that I am meant to be his mommy. I also feel like if I have another it will be a girl...BUT what if it is a boy, I am not really wanting 3 boys. Anyway, when people ask me what I am having and what I have it seems like most are not that excited. Kind of like "aww, too bad you didn't get another girl." It also seems that people are just more excited for you in general when you are having a girl over having a boy. Anyway, I am just grateful and blessed to have these 3 children and I know this is the family I was meant to have so screw anyone who isn't happy for me.

Thats how I feel now, after telling our family that we are going to try for a girl one last time, they say Im crazy, "what if its 3 boys?" they say..I am preparing myself for 3 boys, I refuse to get my hopes up about a girl b/c I dont want to feel bad again(although with doing the sway stuff its hard, not to think your going to be successful), so when/if we have a 3rd boy and people will tell me"Oh, Im sorry you didnt get your girl", or "all that stuff you went through and its still a boy!" I need to come up with a nice remark back, that tells them I am happy with my kids, and I dont give one crap about what they say! Of course, I want to say all of this with a smile on my face:) Maybe then the next time I see them, they will say happy things around my kids, not how disappointed I should be

Luvcole sway and pray hard and keep us posted on what you do!  I know I always thought 1 and done, then ds2 kind of was an oops I was on depo shot then switched to bc pills, got only 2 periods in the last two years and BAM I found out I was pregnant!  Could not believe it!  He must have one heck of a good purpose to beat those odds!  Now I am already thinking of going for 3 but I may change my mind once I see my two boys together!  All my friends have girls and my family, but like you said it is not like having your own!  I know I find peace in listening to my dad and his brothers tell stories of growing up, there were 4 boys, no girls and it makes me smile in hopes that my boys will have a great brotherly bond! 

Jen, I dont know how much more praying I can do..I find myself asking for a girl, all the time, BUT I wouldnt change my boys..I have people say "Its too bad you didnt try and sway with Logan(DS2) or else you may have your 1 boy,1 girl and you could be done"..But I wouldnt change him, hes so different from his older brother, but at the same time so alike, he follows him around, and DS1 just loves him, and loves that he has someone to play trucks with, I love to listen to them laugh together in their room, or DS1 tell his classmates"I have a baby brother..hes my best friend", so you will love your 2 boys I promise, and they will love eachother..It has been a long road for me to come to terms that this last attempt is our last baby, so if we dont have a girl, I will never have one, but you know what helped me be ok with that? Watching these boys play together, and be "boys" together..I figure if I can love (and handle) these 2 beautiful boys..whats 1 more right? Thats just one more for my boys to have to play baseball with in the backyard or play with tonka trucks..I also came to the conclusion that if I do go through all of this sway stuff and still have a boy, then he was truly meant to be my boys baby brother and a part of this family we have..That helped me become excited for our 3rd, and I think will help me if we find out baby is a boy, I still worry about my feelings of "loss" of never having a girl, but Im hoping they are fewer then with DS2

People still make stupid comments about gender even if you have both, as I've found out. I feel very defensive towards my boys as they seem to be looked on as not as valuable as girls. Yes, I did sway for my girls but had I had them first I would have swayed for boys too, I always wanted to raise both, yet they are seen as some kind of consolation prize, that I had to have them to get to my girl which annoys me.

When I'm out with just my boys I get comments about whether I want a girl, when I'm out with my youngest boy and daughter I'm congratulated on having one of each and people are surprised I would bother to have another yet when I'm out with just my daughter no one has ever asked if I want or hope for a boy. But boys are brilliant! I suppose I still see myself as a boy mum even though I'm not, I guess I just still remember what GD feels like and I'm not a girlie girl. You're right when you say those feeling of guilt do stay, I love my boys so much yet I always had that gnawing fear I would never have a daughter, it seemed like an impossible dream. I wish I'd never had them but I did and it runs deep. 

I wanted a girl for my second but now I am sooooo glad I had a boy, they really are the best of friends. They have bunkbeds but they sleep in the same bed every night, play together and really look out for each other. Of course they argue, but their relationship is amazing and something I am so grateful for. I'm currently pregnant with another girl and I worry about the sister relationship as I only know one person who is very close to her sister, I hope they will love each other as much as my boys do but I worry about the stereotypical idea of them fighting and being catty with each other, fighting over clothes etc.

I don't normally post pics of my children on the net but today their school was celebrating the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, the children could go dressed as a king or queen, my two went as Richard the Lionheart and I just about died of the cuteness of it, they wanted to be the same and I had so much fun dressing them up. 

 

That picture is adorable!!! And I think your girls will have agood relationship, of course I still remember when I was a teen, so in those years Im sure they will all fight over something, but when they get older, I feel like if they are close when they are young, they will come back to being close. This is our last one, so if we do have a girl, she will never have a sister, but I have 2 friends who was the youngest of three and both had 2 big brothers, being around them when we were growing up, they faught, but in the end, the girls always watchedout for the girls their brothers dated, and the boys watched out for their sister and I love that. Good luck with your pragnancy Saliero!! Your boys are adorable as Im sure your girls are too!

people make comments at anything possible! they see i have 2 boys & a girl "oh you finally got that girl" "girls are so great" really... we didn't keep trying til we got a girl we always wanted 3, a number not a gender. and then what makes girls so much better than boys? i have gotten down right rude with people before and they are backed up in a corner not knowing what to do. i got TONS of comments when pg with DS2 and was so upset and when i voiced my opinion about it people got rude telling me that i should just be thankful i could get pregnant. well don't be such asshats to me first then get pissed at me when i voice mine. i must have had the eff off look this last pregnancy bc no one ever asked or said anything. my favorite is "ohhh 2 boys you have your handles full" i reply with "actually i have 3 kids and i'd rather them be full than empty!" they just stare after that. fight back girls that's the ONLY way people are going to stop being so insensitive!!