Tubal a year ago with regrets

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I had a tubal a year ago after my third son was born via c section and I have regretted it ever since. I feel like I gave up on my dream of having a daughter of my own and I grow angrier every day that I didn't stop the tubal even though I knew it was a mistake.

HopeFaithDream:

I don't know what to do at this point. Its getting worse. I keep toying with the idea of have a reversal or doing a round of IVF with the gender selection option.

 

Hi there! Sorry about your tubal. :( I would go for IVF/PGD if you have the money or means to! I would love to, but our financial situation sucks right now. Would your dh go for it?

HUGS!!! 

 

hopefaith I agree if this is something that you'll regret forever, then I would do IVF + gender selection. however, it would be much better if your hubby was on board with the idea. That's what's stopping me from trying for a 4th baby, hubby is not on board and my youngest is only 6 months old.

I can totally relate. I had my tubes tied in November due to pressure from my DH and family. Like you, I knew I didn't want it, but I went ahead. I felt gutted after the procedure was over. It was the worst feeling ever. DH is about 70% on board for doing IVF/PGD or TR in a couple years, so long as we have the means to do it. Even though we have made progress, I still find myself being bitter over the whole ordeal that I was even put in this position in the first place. So sorry you're going through this also. It sucks to say the least!

It's so frustrating! Some days I'm totally fine and the depression hits and lasts for days!! I would love to do IVF/PGD but it's very expensive and having 4 kids is scary. I just wish the pain would go away and I'd be satisfied with what I have. I just don't understand why I never got my little girl, I'm the only one in my entire family with all boys....I just don't understand :(

it gets better. if you want then yes do the ivf but remember the ht forum is full of ladies who had no trouble getting pregnant at all but just can't get that desired gender. plus you need to decide how many rounds you are willing to do, then you have to decide what to do with any healthy boy embryos you may get. i had good days and bad days myself but once the older girls started school it helped alot so i could bond with the little ones. really once i stopped obsessing and took a step back it really help me. easier said then done i know, but it does get better.

newbaby2011:

then you have to decide what to do with any healthy boy embryos you may get

This is the number one thing that is stopping me from seriously planning on IVF! What would we do with the boy embryos? I couldn't terminate them but I also couldn't give them to someone else and know I have biological children out there being raised by someone else!!

Wow I can totally relate!!!!  I had my tubes tied a year ago because my Dr pressured me into it because it was my 3rd csect and she had a patient have major complications pregnant after 4th csect so she pushed and pushed and caught me in a time of pain during my horrible 3rd csect.  I regretted it the minute they rolled me out of surgery.  I am too old (39) to start IVF now so we are done.  My dh has a 19 year old DD.  I would go for IVF because I have read alot of tubal reversal failures.  I would  to have a 4th child, a DS or DD at this point.  Good luck and thanks for sharing

I’m sorry you’re going through this, I know I can kind of relate because I am on my 4^th child and it is most likely my last, and as you can see I am not going to be getting my boy I definitely can relate to your disappointment. you are NOT alone!! looking foward to seeing you on the site more! its a great place to vent 

**BIG HUGS**

I feel the pangs off and on too...I wished sometimes I could have gave my daughter a sister...maybe adoption or ivf for me in the late future!

wounded_healer.:

...I wished sometimes I could have gave my daughter a sister

I would be happy with one little girl. But, I won't even get that.[:'(]

HopeFaithDream:

wounded_healer.:

...I wished sometimes I could have gave my daughter a sister

I would be happy with one little girl. But, I won't even get that.[:'(]

I said that too when it was just my 3 boys...it changes...I am very happy with my little girl...I just feel bad that her brothers have brothers and she has just me..

wounded_healer.:

HopeFaithDream:

wounded_healer.:

...I wished sometimes I could have gave my daughter a sister

I would be happy with one little girl. But, I won't even get that.[:'(]

I said that too when it was just my 3 boys...it changes...I am very happy with my little girl...I just feel bad that her brothers have brothers and she has just me..

That's how I felt too. When I have found out that we were expecting No.4, I hoped for a sister for my DD... and here came a little brother for her! I thought my GD was finally over when I had my DD. It still hasn't, it came back with my newborn ;-( When can I let it go? When will I free myself from GD? I'm still longing for another DD... It might sound greedy after having both genders, but that is how I feel...

Forgot to mention that this new baby is more likely our last. My DH has done vasectomy after finding out that we were expecting No.4. We are also both around 40 too... time is ticking. Now I wish that he hadn't done it - to give me a little hope that we can still have a chance to have a DD...

Its hard to say this, but what if the IVF dosent work, how about the unwanted embryos? sometimes its better to let go of a dream. I really do hope you get your DG, you could even try a tubal reversal, i have heard of some successful reversal stories.