Considering abortion

jilo77 like I said I'm all for adoption when a child loses his/her parents due to death/addiction etc. But I do believe women who are pregnant and distraught are pushed to give up their babies, when they're perfectly capable or raising their child, especially teenage mothers. JMO. Newbaby so glad you husband's mom made the right decision, glad he turned out to be a caring loving husband and father! stickybeans so glad you kept your little guy and have the blessing of raising him :o)

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CountCatula:

jilo77 like I said I'm all for adoption when a child loses his/her parents due to death/addiction etc. But I do believe women who are pregnant and distraught are pushed to give up their babies, when they're perfectly capable or raising their child, especially teenage mothers. JMO. Newbaby so glad you husband's mom made the right decision, glad he turned out to be a caring loving husband and father! stickybeans so glad you kept your little guy and have the blessing of raising him :o)

 

Thank you, CountCatula! 

All I can say is..... http://180movie.com.... take 33mins of your life and watch this short movie....

jilo77:

Havebluwantp1nktoo:

jilo77:

What about a 35 year old married woman who already has a 13 year old child and has an extramarital affair that results in pregnancy. Husband was away for months on end so in order to not destroy her marriag pe and family (mind you, the man the affair was with was married with two kids) a decision was made to place her son up for adoption with a NON PROFIT agency. Not the typical story but God bless the choice she made. Not all stories are young un we'd mothers but you have it all figured out cause you know someone who adopted.

 

This is just my very personal opinion, but I think that was a selfish and terrible decision she made! She should have had an early abortion if she didn't want her dh to find out, OR had the baby and just dealt with whatever came her way. Kids are not freaking PETS that one can just give away if their very presence causes issues in their life! So yeay, she fixed her life, but she brought a life into the world that has to live with the fact that he was unwanted and thrown away like trash. And what does that show her 13 year old who I am sure knew his mother was PG? That children are expendable. How do you think that affects HIM, knowing his mother gave away his little brother? I'm sorry, but I couldn't disagree more.

Yes, she should have just killed my son instead. Cause I am sure she wanted to carry a child in her womb for 9 months, only to know she would have to say goodbye. A better lesson would be to just kill a baby you don't want. Ridiculous that you would utter that my son should have been aborted. Justify your own choices all you want but I think adoption is the more brave decision to make. Abortion is the "easy" answer but also one that cannot be undone. I saw my sons heart beating on an ultrasound at 5 weeks. That is a baby. And yes, adoptive children can have some attachment issues but with some knowledge of attachment parenting, a lot of these issues subside. Honestly, you are not worth my time. Anyone who suggest any of my children should have been aborted can honestly piss off.

 

Oh lord. Of COURSE I would never suggest that a child already born should have been aborted!  My beef is with the birthmother- I do not agree with her decision at the time she made it, and stand by what I said. I am sure you are a really great mother and your (adopted) son loves you very much. I am also sure he has a lot of hidden pain that he would never feel okay sharing, pain that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with his reality of being an adoptee.The truth is, his mother gave him away but kept his brother. Pretty rotten stuff if you ask me. This has nothing to do with you and what kind of mother YOU are... FTR you sound like a very loving and protective mom.

 

Havebluwantpinktoo that was waaaayyy out of order. My very best friend in the world is adopted, I just showed her your comments and she is beyond shocked! Everyone makes their own choices, and it may help you deal with yours to think that ALL adopted children have such bad issues that they'd be better off dead, but to actually say it to an adoptive mother? To that mother, my friend assures me, whilst excitedly waiting for the birth of her second baby that she had a great life. We all have amazing friends, she has a great husband, a beautiful little boy and one on the way. She 100% agrees with her birth mothers choice! Especially if the two options were adoption or abortion!!! We ALL have issues, it's part of life, but when we have love and support around us it helps! Haveblu I don't disagree with the choices you have made, they were right for YOU, just your comments. I also don't disagree that adoption should not be pushed on a desparate woman, but neither should abortion. Maybe your story may help her make the right decision for HER! I just don't know what that last comment about the 7 year old child was meant to achieve. This is a serious situation and when you don't know someones exact circumstances it is irresponsible to push any of your opinions on them! To the OP I am so sorry you're going through this. I suspect you don't want either option which is why you are on here. Just weigh up your decision very very carefully. If you can get out of that situation and keep your baby it would be wonderful. I wish I could say something wise that would help but I'm at a loss, thinking about you. .

if i can add to my story now, my husband was placed up for adoption but the "birth mother" thought she was in a better place a few years later, in a stable relationship and off drugs, she got pregnant again and had another baby boy. she and the boyfriend killed him. he was crying too much and again they got high and smothered him with a pillow. both went to jail which is where my husband found his birth mother. sometimes adoption is the better choice.

newbaby2011:

if i can add to my story now, my husband was placed up for adoption but the "birth mother" thought she was in a better place a few years later, in a stable relationship and off drugs, she got pregnant again and had another baby boy. she and the boyfriend killed him. he was crying too much and again they got high and smothered him with a pillow. both went to jail which is where my husband found his birth mother. sometimes adoption is the better choice.

Omg that is horrible!

newbaby2011:

if i can add to my story now, my husband was placed up for adoption but the "birth mother" thought she was in a better place a few years later, in a stable relationship and off drugs, she got pregnant again and had another baby boy. she and the boyfriend killed him. he was crying too much and again they got high and smothered him with a pillow. both went to jail which is where my husband found his birth mother. sometimes adoption is the better choice.

Thats horrendous!! I suspect Haveblu thinks that having your husband and giving him up was selfish and that your husband now has to live with these issues and it would have been braver and kinder to abort! But all these things are situation specific! Would you have met a better husband with no issues after your breakup if adoption wasn't an option? Who knows, would I say that to your husband, you or your beautiful children that are products of that decision, absolutely not!!!

newbaby2011:

if i can add to my story now, my husband was placed up for adoption but the "birth mother" thought she was in a better place a few years later, in a stable relationship and off drugs, she got pregnant again and had another baby boy. she and the boyfriend killed him. he was crying too much and again they got high and smothered him with a pillow. both went to jail which is where my husband found his birth mother. sometimes adoption is the better choice.

 

Again, in your dh's situation, it was definitely the right choice.Not arguing with that.

My point is, in most situations, it is not the best choice.

http://originsusa.memberlodge.org/Research

OP:  http://originsusa.memberlodge.org/Resources_to_Help_You_Keep_Your_Baby

 

newbaby your poor husband, how horrible his little brother died like that, his own parents, how horrible human beings if you can call them that, to kill their baby like that. She should've given that baby for adoption too, he could have had a beautiful life and and have a wife and children. so sad...

 There is one very excellent point that is being made in this discussion that I feel is being overlooked and that is that as a society we should be promoting parenting!!!  

 

Neither adoption or abortion should be pushed on anyone!!!  And both are big time money makers for the professionals involved.  Let's not forget that.

 

As a society, we should be supporting these mother's more (the mothers who are fit to parent in all areas other than financial, I'm not talking about drug addicts, here) and encouraging them to choose life & parenting.  We have the resources to provide more than we are and if we would step up on a community level (not necessarily a federal level) and make a commitment to promoting families, we might be able to put at least a dent in the growing number of moms who feel desperate and are pushed into abortion & adoption. 

 

islandmeadow:

 There is one very excellent point that is being made in this discussion that I feel is being overlooked and that is that as a society we should be promoting parenting!!!  

 

Neither adoption or abortion should be pushed on anyone!!!  And both are big time money makers for the professionals involved.  Let's not forget that.

 

As a society, we should be supporting these mother's more (the mothers who are fit to parent in all areas other than financial, I'm not talking about drug addicts, here) and encouraging them to choose life & parenting.  We have the resources to provide more than we are and if we would step up on a community level (not necessarily a federal level) and make a commitment to promoting families, we might be able to put at least a dent in the growing number of moms who feel desperate and are pushed into abortion & adoption. 

 

Thank you. I love when other people put my own thoughts into words that I can't put together as well!

islandmeadow:

 There is one very excellent point that is being made in this discussion that I feel is being overlooked and that is that as a society we should be promoting parenting!!!  

 

Neither adoption or abortion should be pushed on anyone!!!  And both are big time money makers for the professionals involved.  Let's not forget that.

 

As a society, we should be supporting these mother's more (the mothers who are fit to parent in all areas other than financial, I'm not talking about drug addicts, here) and encouraging them to choose life & parenting.  We have the resources to provide more than we are and if we would step up on a community level (not necessarily a federal level) and make a commitment to promoting families, we might be able to put at least a dent in the growing number of moms who feel desperate and are pushed into abortion & adoption. 

 

 

  Very well said!

 

islandmeadow:

 There is one very excellent point that is being made in this discussion that I feel is being overlooked and that is that as a society we should be promoting parenting!!!  

 

Neither adoption or abortion should be pushed on anyone!!!  And both are big time money makers for the professionals involved.  Let's not forget that.

 

As a society, we should be supporting these mother's more (the mothers who are fit to parent in all areas other than financial, I'm not talking about drug addicts, here) and encouraging them to choose life & parenting.  We have the resources to provide more than we are and if we would step up on a community level (not necessarily a federal level) and make a commitment to promoting families, we might be able to put at least a dent in the growing number of moms who feel desperate and are pushed into abortion & adoption. 

 

Completely agree! Well said.