Pregnant with boy # 3

Hi all i am new to this board i have kinda been lurking and reading what others have wrote. I have seen alot of support on this site. The message board i have been on i was called ungrateful for being sad that this is not my lil girl that i have always dreamed of. I am posting cuz i felt maybe i would get some support here and not just bashing. I am 25 and i have a 7 year old boy and a 4 1/2 year old boy. I have wanted a lil girl since i started having kids, however i have had two boys and just found out i am having my third boy. I am very dissapointed that he is not a lil girl. I love him just the same. I just cry thinking of not having my lil girl. My husband left me when i was 8 1/2 months pregnant with his second son and got with another girl and she became pregnant with a girl me and him got back together before he found out it was his kid. That makes the hurt a lil more worse on me. That she could have his daughter and i couldnt. Am i wrong for feeling this way? I have feelings of sadness, and feelings of guilt. I wish that she had left my husband alone and he wouldnt have left however nothing turned out that way and it just seems really unfair to me. I know that life is very unfair and very hard.  we are back together and happier than we have ever been and I was really wanting a lil girl this time so this could be my last, however the u/s said its a boy..i cried and cried and cried i couldnt even stop myself when she said its a boy. How can i get back to feeling joy. I know that there are people worse off than me and people that cant have kids and my heart goes out to them, i was told on another board that i didnt know how fortuante i was to have kids, that is so far from the truth. I left that board and came here in hope to find others like me, that love their baby but are really dissapointed of the sex and need to talk and get support and help getting over it. Well this has been kinda long if anyone has any thoughts please feel free to talk to me.

jennab25,

Glad to see you made your way to this site.  (I'm the one who jumped in on the October board from the November board!)  I hope you will find much love and support just like I have here.  It has made this time much more enjoyable and easy to handle.  Good luck and God bless!

 

yes and thank you for telling me about it. I just dont even know if i want to post on babyfit anymore due to that rude girl..I am having a hard time dealing with this and she had no right to act that way. Anyways like i said before thank you and thanks for all the kind comments and support. It really does make it a lil bit easier day by day. Now we are waiting to find out what SIL is going to have i am really scared its going to be a girl just becuz i want a girl that is what happend with my youngest son. My half sis got pregnant 1 month before me and she had a girl and i had a boy. That was really hard on me. This time it will be alot harder being that SIL lives right down the hill from us. They are hoping for a boy but i just feel it will be a girl. It seems everyone gets what they want but me. I know that sounds selfish maybe but i cant help it. Both my half sisters have girls and now if my brother has a girl everyone in my family will have a girl but me. I want a lil girl to bond with and be close with like my mom and me are. My boys they do love me dearly, however they are all boys. Down to dirt, balls, cars etc..etc... I told hubby i want to buy barbies, baby dolls, pink stuff..lol...anyways its great to read all the other posts from people that are goin through the same thing if not something worse. After all as bad as it seems to us there is always someone who is worse off.

Welcome Jenna!  You are in the right place.  There are a lot of us here who have been through gender disappointment.  I have to say, I can see why this is hitting you extra hard, given what you have been through with your DH.  It must have felt like getting back together, having another baby, it was meant to be your daughter.  But then it is like everyone else gets a girl instead.  It does seem so unfair.

First of all, don't be hard on yourself.  (You can always find someone else to do that, ha.)  You didn't ask to feel this way, and being disappointed in not having a daughter does not mean you love any of your sons any less.  It just means that you are grieving over a dream that is not coming true the way you thought it would with this pregnancy.  It's not disappointment over a baby, it's disappointment over a dream. 

If you can, take some time out to do something just for yourself, that will take your mind off of things and be a treat for you.  Maybe just a pedicure, a bubble bath, or an afternoon with a good book.  You deserve a little pampering!

Hugs to you,
Maureen

Yes it did feel like this was my daughter so so much this time then ever before but i had that lil nagging in the back of my mind that it wasnt, however everyone got me so amped up saying its your girl, i even had girl stuff given to me and my husband kept winning all these lil pink and purple bears and i could just see her walking around with this one particular bear. My mom told me she was 100 % sure it was a  girl everyone in my family kept saying its a girl its a girl..so it really had my hopes up. I think i knew deep down you know that mothers intuition that it was a boy. The day of the u/s before we went  i was depressed all day and crying for no reason. I was not happy and excited like my mom was. My mom wanted me to have a girl so bad to. She even cried later on she told me that i didnt get my girl. Yah it was really hard finding out that my DH had a lil girl with someone he left me for. I had longed for a girl for soo soo long and then bam we find out after we get back together that its a girl and then we find out later on that it is his. So that all hit me pretty hard and i think i resented him alot back then for giving her a girl but not me. Then i wonder how something so beautiful could come out of adultry? However i know that we dont make that decision God makes it for us. I question him all the time why cant i have my girl? Can i only have boys? My mom bless her heart still believes i am gonna get my lil girl. It scares me sometimes cuz her and my dad are not in the best of health and i want them to be here when i do have her one day..God willing. Thanks for the support. This has been really hard on me. No tears yesterday, however i did tear up a coulple times but didnt just break down and cry like i had been doing. I just had to get away from that other board where i was getting bashed cuz i feel guilty enough. I told DH when will i get over this so i can feel joy and get excited? He said in time. I know that is what its gonna take. When i look at clothes or anything for that matter its hard to look at lil boys stuff cuz the girls stuff is right there and befoe i knew that is all i could do was look at lil girl stuff...ok, ok i gotta quit cuz i am gonna start today crying if i dont..By the way these are my two handsome men. I have no doubt that this one will be just as handsome!