Can you tell the gender without open legs?

 Hi all,

 I have two beautiful boys, and I'm desperate for a little girl. I want this to be our last baby because I have a history of miscarriages and I emotionally don't want to go through that again. So feel like this is my last chance to have a daughter. I went for an ultrasound last week (at 18 weeks and a few days), and the technician said she couldn't tell the gender when we were almost done, because baby wasn't cooperating. She had me empty my bladder to see if that would get baby moving around a little more, and it didn't. So at the end of the US, she said "well I'm REALLY not sure because the baby wouldn't spread its legs, but if I'm leaning towards boy". She repeated over and over that we'd find out for sure when baby's born (end of August -- which is way too long for me to wait), but she ended up pulling up a pic she'd taken earlier on that showed what did look to me like a penis and scrotum. :( She didn't say what angle it was from and I didn't ask because I was trying too hard not to cry, to say anything at all, but it appeared to be from the bottom. She followed up by saying that what looked like a penis could be cord, so not to take her word on it. 

I am pretty devastated. I've had over a week to process it, and I feel like a lot of my dreams have been crushed. I have booked another ultrasound at a private place that does 4d and they guarantee they'll find out the sex or you get to have another for free, so I'm looking forward to that but at the same time, I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for hearing that it is definitely a boy.  The U/S isn't until May 2, so I have awhile to wait and drive myself crazy.

So I guess my question is, am I right that it's most likely a boy from the shot she got, or is there a good chance that it was a cord? Sorry, I don't have a picture to share - she gave us a couple and I actually can't find them ATM, however they were both from the waist up, profile shots.

 Thanks everyone. I am really struggling with this, so I'd appreciate any opinions.

Useless answer, but I would probably just wait until the scan you've booked.

x

 Thanks for the reply. May 2nd seems so far away, so I'm just hoping for any words of wisdom in the meantime to keep me sane. 

 

With my second daughter, the tech thought boy at first because of the cord. We got really excited for about 5 minutes, until he said "oh, wait. sorry." Cords can definitely look like boy parts at the right angle.

 Thanks for the reply! I have no idea how to read an u/s so I really don't know if what I saw was penis/scrotum, and the tech seemed very unsure, so that's the only thing that's keeping any hope of a girl alive. But I was already 18 weeks at the time of the scan, so I assume it's pretty obvious at that point....?

Ugh. This sucks - I just need to know one way or the other, the suspense is killing me!

((HUGS))  Hope the next few weeks go by quickly for you.

I can feel your pain.  I had a surprise u/s today (couldn't find heartbeat with dopler) and she asked me if I wanted to know the gender if we could see it and I said yes.  Once we verified there was indeed a heartbeat she went on to show me some other stuff really quickly.  That baby refused to completely open it's legs for her.  We thought we may have seen a penis, but the second or two it actually gave her to see with open legs during a stretch showed no obvious penis, but no classic 3 lines either.  So, I am actually more anxious now to know than I was before.  I don't even have my anatomy scan scheduled yet, so I don't know how much longer we have to wait to try again. 

 Thanks!

 Yep, the waiting is tough. When we left our U/S I was telling dh that I would've much rather she said she just didn't know either way, because the baby wouldn't cooperate. When she said she was leaning towards a boy, that was sure a reality check for me. Now at least I'm trying to prep myself for hearing it's a boy for sure, but that was almost the worst case scenario for me (related to gender). Had she said "boy" with being like 98% sure  or "girl", I could've dealt with it. Or had she told me she thought it was a girl, at least I wouldn't be so depressed about the whole matter. But now I'm in limbo not knowing what the gender is for sure, PLUS thinking "well it must be a boy, if she saw what looked like boy parts". :( These next 2.5 weeks will be long!

 Any other opinions? 

When i went to my a/s at first my baby wasn't cooperating and the tech Said he could "guess" I said please don't guess- as I agree I think it's worse. when he went to get dh - I poked my belly and baby opened her legs. HE said girl. I then went for a private scan and they said yes girl too - it was at 20 weeks - I have another private scan scheduled for my kids to see the baby an thought it's so neat we had to go again. I think may 2nd it just gonna have to wait ! Can't wait to hear ur update

I know at 18 weeks girl parts can still be very swollen, there's a website that shows comparison pictures week by week of foetus' genitalia and I remember being surprised at how similar they seemed, I think a lot of mistakes can be made at this stage. Also, when my DD was born her bits were still so swollen (the clitoris was particularly prominant) I asked the midwife to check her over as I thought she might be in pain, I can imagine that I may have had a wrong guess if someone had looked at her early in my pregnancy!

So, with things being swollen AND squashed I wouldn't give up hope, not by a long shot. I think at this stage it would be easy to see 'something' between the legs and assume boy, even for a tech.

Good luck, May 2nd must seem like a lifetime away. Don't forget to update us!

 Thanks very much for the reponses ladies, it's so comforting to know that I have somewhere to vent when I feel like I can't handle it on my own. *hug* My DH has been wonderful with my millions of questions and talking about the GD sooo often, but it's really nice to have a group to come to. I feel like I can't even talk to my friends/family IRL because I don't want them judging me for not just being thankful for a healthy baby. I mean, I feel guilty enough - I really don't need others making me feel worse. 

I will definitely let you all know the outcome! Come on, May 2!!

I was told at 16 weeks and 21 weeks without a doubt "ITS A BOY" now at 32 weeks i have been told 100% "ITS A GIRL" i wanted a baby boy so bad. i  already have 3 beautiful daughters and was really ready for a boy anyway i am putting up my its a boy shot....keep in mind shes all girl

good luck lady

Mama.Mancusi - Hmm. I always thought that 21 weeks was more reliable than later on because in the later stages things are so squashed. How certain was the sonographer at 21 weeks that it was a boy? Did you see pics of the willy and balls?

 Your story gives me some hope, mama.mancusi! Although I really do hope for your sake that they were wrong on your most recent U/S. I'm no expert by any means, but I've always heard if they see what they think is a penis and scrotum by that late in the game (21 weeks), they're probably right. 

 In my case, I'm really, really hoping that it was just a little early and it was a "swollen" girl. 

The ultraound tech showed me what he seemed to think was a penis and scrotum, even said the baby had a big "pee pee",  but i posted my big pee pee ultrasounds in a diffrent forum and coldwater who is a ultrsound tech told me my "ITS A BOY" shots just looked like early girl shots with swollen parts. so im not sure what to belive!! in my 32 week "ITS A GIRL" shots they are now saying they see the three lines and the girl parts. im am just so glad i found this site, i badly was in need of the support of you ladies.

 Aw, I'm sorry for all the waiting and wondering you have to do! Will you be having another U/S to see what they say? Or waiting until the big day to find out for sure? I can totally sympathize. I just want to know one way or the other!